#i feel soooo fucking uneasy around them now

[azure-stars]

.

[kinktae]

you mentioned in your tags that you have never craved romantic love and probably never will...does that mean you're aromantic?

I feel like the aro/ace experience is teetering between am I aro/ace... or am I traumatize <3

NOW DON'T TAKE THIS AS ME SAYING THAT ANYONE WHO IS ARO/ACE IS JUST TRAUMATIZED that does NOT apply to everyone and aro/ace's are valid thank u and god bless

TW TRAUMA DUMP LMFAO but when it comes to ME... idk bro my dad is a narcissist groomer who left my mom horribly emotionally stunted and I had to watch her enter the shittest most abusive relationship after my parent's divorce because she was so fucked up over my dad, and then growing up as a teen was just watching my girl friends become the worst versions of themselves because of men and making terrible, terrible decisions (pls understand that my besties were all very mentally unwell so when i say terrible i mean TERRIBLE and UNSAFE and TRAUMATIZING for everyone involved) and ofc I supported them during and after those instances ... but if i'm being so super honest. At the forefront of my mind was always "god i hope I don't look like this when I start dating/catch feelings." And yeah. I've never fallen in love. Never even dated. Even the healthier relationships around me now I see what it looks like and I'm like... I'm good😭😭 And from a psychological aspect, I completely understand why love makes you do crazy things and having rose colored glasses but... Idk I love my life exactly as it is!! I don't ever feel lonely? I'm not exactly sure what being in a relationship will give me other than taking time away from my happy lil life. I truly do not feel any want or need for a man. In fact it genuinely upsets me when I find out a man has feelings for me it makes me soooo uncomfortable and uneasy. Maybe that's why I like writing romance. It's a way to explore it without ever looking foolish or making decisions I wouldn't usually. Anyway, I might feel differently when I leave college since that takes up a huge part of my life time wise but yeah!!! that's where I'm at !! :)

[scar-lie]

Hi everyone......soooo I have a story that makes me goosebumps and makes me feel disgusted

So I tried dating app for the first time and I talked to people there and everything, mostly they didn't last long for a day except one, let's name him Jay (I'm gonna hide his identity) so this Jay guy he have a good convo skills, he makes the convo keep going and everything until yesterday he said "let's eat in mcdo" so me myself who can't say no to practically everyone, said "yes sure, after class" - which is the stupidist thing I've done for so many reasons pkus the trauma - .......so we meet then he's a fucking CATFISH! YES A FUCKING CATFISH AND A GUY!!!!!!! he said he is 165 cm which like probably around 5'5 but the thing us I'n 164 cm (around 5'4 and ⅓) but when I saw him shit.........I think he's like 5'2 or around 153 cm gosh he's smaller than me, then he doesn't look like in the picture, he's ugly I swear - I don't do much of a judgement especially in person, their appearance cause I believe that a good person comes in heart and what they believe that nakes them make a good choices in life and everything - but for the first time in my life this guy make me want to throw up really bad, the second we seperate ways I shudders and said to myself "EWWWWW, THAT'S DISGUSTING, EEEWWW" I keep cursing myself to even try to meet him, cause that day it made me realize that even tho I'm a good person and have strong belief in kindness, that I still have bad side that I could exhange him for a bear, dollar or anything just to get him away from me and now here I am having another trauma of my life😖🥹🥹

PS : I'm a good person, it's just I feel betrayed and feel uneasy that I said those in my head and here eventually, but I swear I have a good and soft heart, I can't even watch the street cats who have dislocated legs by the people who maltreated them

[titleleaf]

fifty ways to leave! SOOOO legit. Please regale us.

yessss I loved writing this fic but it feels like it's been ten thousand years so thank you for letting me revisit it

"fifty ways to leave", Taxi Driver (1976), Iris Steensma & Travis Bickle postcanon spectral gen written for Yuletide 2020

One thing I wanted to deal with in this fic is the film's uneasy conclusion with Iris being returned to her parents -- while being sexually exploited by Sport and witnessing violent crime is obviously a pretty awful state of affairs, there's plenty of stuff back at home that fucks kids up too, and I didn't like the thought that her right path in life necessarily meant going back to a settled socially-acceptable life. At the same time, older now, she's still stuck making compromises, selling a tacky fantasy, and being subordinated to dipshit men -- getting a shitty boring office job means forcing herself into a role she doesn't like much, both closeting herself as a queer woman and kind of doing workplace drag just to get through the door to interview. I wanted to write about Iris turned loose back in the urban wild without another person controlling her and trying to figure out how she wants to live.

I love writing fic about characters whose actors have work spanning decades where it's especially tempting to imagine those characters growing up/spanning time periods -- I just realized thanks to photos and shit I am now able to visualize Jodie Foster circa 1982-3 (with much nicer swingier hair than I have written Iris with in this fic) and it's so fun.

I love, love, love ghost stories and especially vanishing-hitchhiker-type stories of a living person sharing time and space with someone who couldn't possibly be there -- a phantom cabbie is just that turned inside out and I had fun trying to figure out the kind of visual signifiers that would flag to Iris that she's out of place even before she recognizes Travis. She's left with this tangible, physical record of their encounter, Travis' jacket as this object that's gotten dislodged from linear time, and in addition to continuing the vanishing-hitchhiker riff

Rereading now I think I also wanted to do some stuff with the physical residues of smoky, sooty, jizz-stained early-70s New York -- scent is a really powerful trigger for memories both good and bad and I know in my heart that both Travis Bickle and his taxi absolutely reek. Iris is as merciless to her own parents and upbringing in this fic as Travis is sentimental toward his own, but it's taken her this long to get that perspective on both of them and on Travis himself now that she's encountering him in the metaphorical flesh again. And I guess a ghost is another kind of residue??? Idk man.

If this fic has a sibling in the stuff I've written it's my fic for The Stand, "deep red bells" -- it's set in a no-Captain-Trips (or at least pre-Captain Trips) timeline where Nadine is trying to put together the information she can about this awful demon lover who's still pursuing her even a universe away, whose presence she can identify by its residues even if she can't find Flagg himself. If that's more about chasing ghosts this fic is just about Iris kind of living with them, and with the lack of satisfying conclusion and emotional resolution that a lot of people just end up living with. Iris in this fic is going to end up living to be like 85 and living an incredibly varied and rich life (idk what she'll end up doing -- feminist organizer, writer, artist, complicated person and incredible dresser and haunted urban waif) but she'll be carrying around the memories of this wildly unsettled, ambivalent experience and at times they'll be unbearably vivid even as they get more chronologically remote.

The title is because I cannot think about Paul Simon without laughing.

...I just realized that having Iris be raised Catholic opposite Travis Bickle's Schrader-given Presbyterian-coding gives them the same religious backgrounds as my own parents. I am going to try and avoid thinking about wtf this means about me psychologically.

[fallingfavourites]

im such a little liar omg I said said would start 2 days ago and now i am instead but anyway s3 baby here I go,

wait actualy before I start I have to talk about this first it's probably going to be such am experience going from this and then after reading what happened in between the seasons, now fr here I come s3,

WE ARE SO BACK, oeh omg starting with a flashback always eats!! I NEED MORE LAWYER MOMENTS KF THEM IMMEDIATELY, the teacher is so me while reading this,

kinda offtopic but I know ex is an xreader but she just feels like such an oc to me at this point, i was having fun and you just had to hit me in the face with angst didn't you?,

-Matt tried to get out of the bed but he collapsed to the floor with the first step. It was like his body forgot how to move. His own skeleton failed him and let him crash to the ground and a wound at his side gnawed angrily at the impact. The fluid between his ears was as uneasy as the ocean and nothing around him felt solid. The only thing that kept him in that moment was the cold floor beneath him and the firm hands that tried to haul him up.- your writing is beyond this world once again, OH WE'RE DOING BACK AND FORTHS COOLCOOLCOOL, RECOVERED?? RECOVERED WHAT? MATTS DEATH WHAT WHAT IS IT TELL ME

,-“The.. The way her voice broke when she- When she called out for me… I heard her scream when it all happened.”- nono stfu I hadn't even thought about that😭😭 why did you have to say rhat I can't, BRO THIS MAN NOT TELLING HER IS SELFISH,

the punisher teasing is making me crazy, PHYSICAL REHAB??? BILLY WTF DID YOU??????,

-“Because you liked a guy that you could treat like shit and still expect him to care?”- Karen baby no why would you say that😭😭, -“No, you’re right. Because you two kept so many goddamn secrets nobody really knew either of you, right?” - okay but she kinda ate ex and maty up with that, god I love the way you write Karen sm, everybody loves Foggy and as they should!!,

-“Angry, sarcastic, and stubborn. Maybe you don’t have any friends.” Maggie joked, though Matt didn’t find it funny. - your own mom saying that to you is wild😭😭, Matthew murdock you would love hozier, MARRIAGE MENTIONS COUNTER: 2, -...allowing Matt to sit in his own continuous misery.- best way I've ever seen to describe his life,

wait pause, Matt knows it's ex right?? if so that wild for him to do this like thats actually sick and twisted, also would ex like recognize his fighting style? idkidk, also the way ex is just so casual about this😭, AH DEX, I SHOULD NOT LIKE THEM INTERACTING THIS MUCH😨, SCREAMING OMG,

^^me right now,

RAY RAY RAY YIPPEEE, FISK NAHH my girl just can't catch a fucking break omg, MARC MENTION OMG, Ray is just dragging her into this I love it, -“...It just made me feel worse until it got to a point where I didn’t want to feel anything. I didn’t want to die per say, but I didn’t wanna live like that anymore. So I buried everything and threw myself into a fight that didn’t really involve me, then I got stuck with this.” You shook the wrist with the brace.- HELLO?? WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING TO HAPPRN IN THE SPINOFF??

boy o boy this was a long one but jesus was it good omg, phenomenal writing once again, missed reading this soooo much! my meme/reaction pics game sucked this chapter but I hope it's still a good reaction! probably will read chapter 2 tomorrow since it's 3:30am rn but omg I cannmtttt wait !!!!!! love you pookie!

MAD AT GOD - MATT MURDOCK

Season Three - House of Memories

tags: @ironprincessstranger @johnmurphys-sass @dusstory @americaarse @astrobees @mayasaurus--rex @woowwwee // two // Season 2B // masterlist

Pairing: Bullseye X Reader (Casual) , Matt X Reader (Past)

Word Count: 9,558

Summary: Times have changed since Midland Circle, so has Y/N. As she attempts to move forward, relationships are strained and circumstances are less than favorable. Can she cope on her own or will she fall back into old habits?

“Welcome to our final class for the semester!” The professor announced as he paraded into the room. Various hoots and claps came from around you but you simply smiled, glad to have another class checked off your schedule. “As you know, today is the final day for debates. We have only a few to get through so the quicker we go, the quicker we enjoy our winter break. Y/L/N, you’re up first!”

You pushed yourself up and hurried down the lecture hall steps until you reached the front. You stood at the closer podium and scanned the notes that waited for you.

A man attempts to break into a house late at night. The owner, a single woman, owns a retired police dog - a German Shepherd to be specific. He bites the perpetrator but releases and recalls when the noise wakes the woman and she calls him back. You’re supposed to argue the man is at fault. Your opposition will argue that the woman is.

“There’s five people you can choose to argue against, or I can choose for you.” Your professor said as you looked up at the empty podium across from you.

“You can pick.. But don’t make it easy.” You shrugged and glanced up at Matt. You knew he hadn’t gone yet and he was smiling down at you.

“Mr. Murdock!” He called and you grinned. “My two top students should go against each other, don’t you think? C’mon down, my boy!”

Matt laughed slightly and made his way down, cane bouncing off the steps. The professor pulled a different copy of the notes from his bag and placed it at Matt’s podium. You gave him a minute while he ran his fingers over the page and his brows raised in interest.

“Ladies first.” The professor bowed and stepped back.

“Clearly, the man is at fault.” You began easily. “Attempted breaking and entering.”

“Yes, but this dog is trained to attack and by New York law, that makes the owner liable.” Matt countered. “Just compensate for the $2,200 in medical bills and call it a day.”

“Yes, but New York law also states that if the victim is trespassing or provoking the animal, the owner isn’t liable.”

“How do you know he was provoking the animal?”

“Security footage.”

“That wasn’t in the notes.” Matt smiled slightly.

“You’re going to assume a woman who lives alone doesn’t have cameras?” You raised your brows.

“Regardless, the dog is trained to attack. Especially being retired police, there must’ve been training for him to engage in certain situations.”

“Certain hostile situations, you mean.”

��You can’t be sure the man was hostile.”

“Why was he breaking into her house then?”

“Maybe he wasn’t. Maybe he was running, looking for somewhere to hide or someone to help him. The dog misread the body language and attacked, unprovoked.”

“Can I ask you something, Mr. Murdock?”

“Please.” He smiled.

“If I threaten you, are you within your rights to defend yourself?”

“Yes, I am.”

“And if I am threatened, can I defend myself?”

“Yes.”

“With whatever I feel is necessary?”

“Sure.”

“Exactly. The dog felt it’s home and owner were threatened. It reacted accordingly.”

“Sounds a bit like victim blaming, doesn’t it?” He asked with a tilt of his head and you almost laughed.

“Coming from the man blaming an animal.”

“Let me ask you something, Ms. Y/L/N. By going off your last statement, your addressing the animal like it’s a weapon.”

“And if I had a concealed carry permit, do I have to show it to you or announce it before defending myself with said weapon?”

“No. But you are still held responsible if you kill your attacker, even if it’s self-defense.”

“You seem to be sympathizing with the attacker. Tell me, Mr. Murdock. Do you?”

“Are you insinuating I hurt people?” His voice feigned hurt but he nearly laughed in amusement.

“Of course not.” You said honestly. “But I do think you enjoy a bit of power.”

“Do you sympathize with the woman?”

“With a woman, on her own, being attacked by someone who she owes nothing to?” You challenged slightly, putting more of a personal anger into the words than intended. “I think any woman in the room would.”

“Maybe that’s clouding your judgment.”

“Is that an ad hominem I hear? Maybe you’re trying to attack me because you know your argument is weak.”

“I’ll admit that the man shouldn’t have gone breaking into houses. However, the woman should’ve had signage posted that a dog with the training and intent to protect was on the premises.”

“Should she have put a sign on every corner of her fence?” You raised your brows. “Because for all we know, there’s a sign on her front gate.”

“I don’t remember if it’s in the notes so just assume there is.” Your professor agreed, seemingly enthralled in your discussion like his favorite TV show. “You two are doing fantastic. You’ve almost gotten to the deciding factor.”

“With posted signage at the front of her property, she shouldn’t have to post it on the back if there’s no typical entry there.” You continued.

“One sign is easy to overlook.” Matt shrugged.

“Not if you enter the property in the proper way. Therefore, the only way the woman is liable would be if the dog bit the man on the sidewalk, since it’s public property.”

“Can we get a description of what the dog bites look like?” Matt turned to your professor.

“Should be on the second page.” He nodded and you cleared your throat. He looked at you and you gave a small jerk of your head towards Matt. “Of course. You’d think I’d remember.” He mumbled and your class chuckled.

You moved to his podium with your paper in hand and reached for his arm. He gave it to you willingly so you pushed the sleeve of his shirt up and twisted it so you could see the inside of his forearm while dropping your page on top of his.

“Punctures from the top canines here.” You used two fingers pressed against his skin as you looked at the paper. “Bottom here. Bruising along here.” Your fingers trailed along his arm and he shivered slightly. “Another set of punctures here, with a bit of lacerations. Less than an inch maybe.”

“A second set of punctures?” His brows furrowed beneath his glasses and you recognized the tone of his voice. He heard something of interest. “So the dog bit once, let go, and bit again? And shook, if there were lacerations.”

“The lacerations are newer, based on the blood color.” You countered. “They don’t look like a shake. It looks like he was pulling his arm away.”

“How can you tell?”

“Because they go downwards. Typically, shakes just make the initial punctures deeper and a little wider, little messier. If anything the movement would be horizontal.”

“Anything else on the bites?”

“No, but..” You flipped the page over and found another photo, though this one was the dog covered in blood and a copy of a vet bill. “There’s a vet bill.”

You flipped Matt’s notes and found what you assumed was the same thing just in braille. You put his hand against it and read your own.

“The dog had damage to his left eye and socket, a chunk missing from his ear and a bloody line four inches down his side.” You explained the photo. “Was the dog shot?”

Your professor nodded.

“Your guy shot her dog.” You turned back to Matt. “Probably used the butt of the gun to hit its eye.”

“You’re right.” He nodded with a small smile. “The woman’s not at fault.”

“You wanted the $2200 for medical?” You asked and he nodded. “Vet bills were $3700. Pay out the difference and we’ll call it even.”

Matt grinned and shook your hand. Your professor stood and celebrated, causing the class to give polite claps. Foggy gave a loud shout from the back.

———————————————

How he survived, he didn’t know. When he finally washed up after Midland Circle, he felt closer to death than he ever had before. He hardly had strength to breathe, let alone try to get home. Try to get to Y/N.

The thought of her was the only thing that kept him going. She was the only thing that had him even considering healing, considering living after that. He heard her voice in every thought. Her touch seemed to ghost his skin though she was nowhere near.

I can’t lose you, Matty. I just can’t.

I trust you with my life.

I want you with me.

I’ve never felt safer than when I’m with you.

My life isn’t worth yours.

Just don’t let it take you from us, okay?

How could he ever face her again? To stand in front of her, knowing she would break down, and ask her to forgive him for sacrificing his life. And for what? For his own pride? For Elektra? And not even the Elektra they both knew and loved at that, but a hollowed out version driven by her own selfish desires.

“Where…? Where…?” He tried to get out a full question but every word seemed to die as it fell from his lips.

“St. Agnes. The orphanage.” A familiar voice answered but he couldn’t make out anything else. Matt felt like someone had shoved a pound of dry cotton into his ears. And while he appreciated the knowledge of where he was, that wasn’t what he wanted to know.

“How long?”

“Several weeks.”

“Where is she?”

“Who?”

“Y/N.”

“She’s come and gone for the day.” The woman rushed an answer and the words made Matt’s head spin violently as he sat up. Or was that more the residual injuries? “Get back in the bed! You’ll hurt yourself!”

“My right ear… I can’t..”

Matt tried to get out of the bed but he collapsed to the floor with the first step. It was like his body forgot how to move. His own skeleton failed him and let him crash to the ground and a wound at his side gnawed angrily at the impact. The fluid between his ears was as uneasy as the ocean and nothing around him felt solid. The only thing that kept him in that moment was the cold floor beneath him and the firm hands that tried to haul him up.

She’s come and gone for the day.

Why was Y/N at the church? She didn’t believe in any of it. Was she looking for Matt? Did she already know he was alive? If she knew, she would’ve been beside him. He firmly believed that if she knew, she wouldn’t leave his side. She would’ve sat there, day and night, waiting to scream at him for abandoning her or to make sure he actually pulled through. There would’ve been some piece of her left in that room, whether it be the warmth of her skin or the scent of her perfume or the sound of her voice. Something would’ve still been there, unless maybe it was and Matt just couldn’t tell. What a cold loneliness he felt around him when he considered that thought.

To anything outside that small, lonely room in the orphanage, Daredevil - and in turn, for some at least, Matt Murdock - was dead.

————————————

Matt and Foggy were in their dorm room, the afternoon after meeting Y/N.

Saying the girl was electric was an understatement. From the second he heard her say his name, he was a goner. He had known her for mere minutes, hours if you count the night, but he felt something in his chest when she introduced herself. His heart thumped faster when she laughed and time seemed to slow when she touched him.

He started to wonder if that’s what it meant to have a soulmate.

“Are you gonna call her?” Foggy asked that morning.

“We met her last night, Foggy.” Matt reasoned with a nervous chuckle. “I’m not gonna call her.”

“Dude.”

“I’m not!”

“You’re gonna miss this perfect opportunity? Matt, c’mon man! She was gorgeous!”

“I-“

“No, like you don’t get it. She was probably the most beautiful woman to have ever walked this campus. You should’ve seen her.”

“Well I-“

“Don’t!” Foggy cut in so Matt smiled innocently. “Do not make a blind joke right now.”

“If she’s so beautiful, then you call her.” Matt tried, though the suggestion felt like a slap to the face.

“I’m not the one she was making googly eyes at on the walk back last night.”

“How was I supposed to know that?”

“I-“ Foggy began before a loud, exasperated sigh. “Matt! Dude!”

“Foggy!” Matt replied in the same tone. “It’s fine. We’ll probably run into her in class anyway.”

“You’re gonna just wait and hope that you two run into each other again by chance? When she’s probably the most perfect and smart and beautiful and charming and-“

“Sounds like you liked her more than I did.” Matt mumbled and dropped onto his back across his mattress.

“Matt. Matthew. My friend.” Foggy said as he came and sat on his friend’s bed beside him. “I’m telling you this because I love you. Call the girl!”

“I’m not gonna call her!” Matt laughed. “C’mon man. You really think a girl like that - as beautiful as you say she is and can speak that many languages and who knows what else she can do. You think a girl like that is gonna wanna be with me?”

“Buddy, I think she would’ve married you last night if you had asked.”

Matt couldn’t help but laugh.

“Alright, fine.” He sighed dramatically, though he was admittedly giddy. “I’ll call her. Dial her number for me.”

“Do you hear that?” Foggy joked as he found the scrap of her book page that she wrote her number on and dialed on Matt’s phone. “Sounds like wedding bells, my friend. Mr. and Mrs. Y/L/N-Murdock.”

“Y/L/N-Murdock, huh?” Matt laughed as he held the phone to his ear.

“Yeah, you’re right… Murdock-Y/L/N? Nah, I don’t like that either. Maybe just Mr. and Mrs. Y/L/N.”

“It’s about time, Murdock.” Y/N joked on the other end of the call. “And here I thought you forgot about me.”

————————————

“Matthew.” Father Lantom announced his arrival one day and Matt was drawn out of the same spiral of thoughts that haunted him. The same circulation of memories that plagued him.

“Father, I didn’t know you were there.” Matt answered honestly, though the feeling in his right ear was as nagging as ever. “Sister Maggie said something before… About Y/N.”

“Oh.. Yes.” He nodded and Matt noticed his hesitation. It was as if he was thinking of how to tell Matt whatever he knew. “She’s been coming around a bit more often lately.”

“Does she know?”

“No… No, I haven’t been able to bring myself to tell her.”

“Why does she come then?”

“You know, it’s the strangest thing. She’s only come inside once.. Said the building doesn’t smell like cinnamon anymore, whatever that means.”

Matt sighed heavily, understanding exactly what she meant. Though he had never smelled it himself, he knew it was how the devotion in the building showed up to her. It was part of her abilities, how she described the church as warm and alive with everyone’s belief. She described anger as red, hot and burning. Sadness was cold and blue. Happiness was a soft purple. Love was pink and fuzzy. Fear, yellow and bitter. He wondered what she was feeling now.

“Instead she just… sits on the bench out front until one of the boys comes to collect her for work. Poor thing.” Lantom continued and it made Matt’s heart twist.

“It’s my fault.. She was with me that night and I- I made her leave. I couldn’t let her die with me.” Matt said weakly.

“She’s doing well lately, better since she’s recovered.”

Matt wondered what that meant but he didn’t dwell on it.

“The.. The way her voice broke when she- When she called out for me… I heard her scream when it all happened.”

Just talking about it replayed that scream and he felt his heart splinter again.

“I’m sure she would love to see you.”

“I just can’t get that sound out of my head.” He nearly whispered.

“She used to say the last thing you said to her played in her head like a record on repeat… Said she’d give anything to hear you say her name again.”

Matt said nothing this time. He would love to have Y/N come by but he knew it wasn’t fair. He’d been gone for several weeks, at least. That could’ve meant months. Y/N could’ve gotten over everything and seeing him, knowing he was alive and she had been so close to him every time she came, it would only break her again. How could he put her through that? How could he be so selfish?

“Matthew, you have to admit it is a miracle that you survived.” Lantom tried.

“That’s how most of our conversations tend to go.” Matt complained and rolled to his side. “Let’s just give it a rest.”

Lantom left after that, allowing Matt to wallow in his own thoughts and boredom.

He wondered who were the boys that came for Y/N. What of her life was still the same? Did Exodus come back to protect the Kitchen, to take out her anger and pain on those she thought deserved it? Or did she sit at home, alone in the apartment that they had danced in? The apartment they had cooked dinners in and cleaned together and where she taught him more and more Russian. Was she as alone as he was? Chased by memories of something buried alive.

Those were the thoughts that plagued Matt day in and day out. He thought of his other friends, too. Karen and Foggy. He wondered if Jessica or Luke or Danny had checked in on Y/N. He even wondered if Frank had heard and looked out for her

Matt wasn’t sure how long exactly it had been since his conversation with Father Lantom about Y/N when Sister Maggie brought her up as well.

“There must be at least one person I can call for you.” She said, almost regretfully and there was a hint of a knowing tone in her voice.

“No.” Matt decided. “There’s no one.”

“What about the girl?”

“What girl?”

“The sad, pretty one. Although lately she seems more angry than sad.” She described her simply and a brief smile crossed Matt’s face. “She comes every morning and has told me about a specific someone who sounds remarkably like you. And given all of that, I’m guessing she was the one you liked to do backflips with.”

“Exodus.”

Sister Maggie hummed in response.

“Her name is Y/N.” Matt said, almost defensively. He couldn’t take her down to only her vigilante name because she was so much more than that. He helped her see that, so ignoring that would be wrong. Exodus was part of who Y/N was, not the entirety.

“You should consider yourself lucky to have found a girl like that that’s willing to put up with all of this.”

“Yeah…”

Back at the apartment, you were getting home for the day. It was an easy day. You had been back from Quantico for a few months, but everything from Billy at the carousel set back your timeline. After your mandated therapy and physical rehab, today was the first day you were unrestricted, though of course your luck meant nothing exciting happened.

You reached for your door handle and found it already unlocked. You walked in confidently after dropping your purse and coat by the door, a hand hovering at the gun on your hip, only to find Karen. She was kneeling by the closet under your stairs with the case to Matt’s suit open in front of her.

“I could’ve told you it’s still not there.” You said simply, removing your gun and badge from your belt and tossing them to the table. “It’s not coming back, Karen. Neither is he.”

“I’m sorry. I should’ve called.” She answered gently, a sadness in her voice.

“Yeah..” You agreed quickly. “Want a drink?”

“I’m okay, thanks.. But uh, how are you?”

“That’s not what this is about.” You threw the fridge shut. “Y’know, come to think of it, I don’t know why you keep coming back and looking for it.”

“I know.. I just can’t shake the feeling that-“

“Not even that.” You laughed with annoyance. “You don’t remember what you told him, do you? When you came by the next day after he told you about all that.” You pointed to the closet.

She was quiet so you continued.

“I don’t think Daredevil’s the problem.” You repeated and her eyes dropped. Her guilt tinted the air with a stale feeling, vaguely smelling like old water. “You didn’t want him in your life as Daredevil but now that he’s gone, you pretend that you cared about the suit.”

She looked back to you quickly. “I didn’t care about the suit. I cared about him.”

“You cared about Matt… Yeah, I’ll give you that. But you didn’t give a shit about Daredevil. You can’t separate the two!”

“Is that why you liked him? Because he was Daredevil.”

“Oh my god.” You muttered.

“Because you liked a guy that you could treat like shit and still expect him to care?”

“Fuck you, Karen.” You snapped. “I cared about Matt long before he even thought about Daredevil so don’t stand there and act like you know anything about our relationship.”

“No, you’re right. Because you two kept so many goddamn secrets nobody really knew either of you, right?”

“Is this really what you came for? To fight with me.” You came around the counter and took a few steps closer to her, making her step back. “Because if you did, you can walk right back out the door and y’know what. You don’t even have to come back. Okay? I don’t need this shit from you anymore. I’m done, Karen.”

She was quiet and you felt the way your words sliced through her but you were too angry to stop talking. You let that anger burn through you as the words fell from your lips.

“Evidently, the only reasons we got along were because Matt and Frank were mutual friends. Now that they’re not around, we have nothing.” You shrugged. “You don’t have to pretend to care about me anymore. I don’t need a pity friend. And I don’t want one.”

“I shouldn’t have said that.” She replied quietly, like a child being yelled at by her parents. “I’m sorry. We’re just worried, me and Foggy.”

“Well don’t be. I’m fine.” You offered a sarcastic expression before going back to the far side of the counter.

She nodded slightly. “I don’t believe that.”

“I don’t care. I don’t need a babysitter. I still make a couple meetings for that support group with Curtis. I left Anvil and the Billy fiasco behind. I’m trying to take the FBI offer seriously. I don’t know what else you and him need me to do to convince you that I’m fine.”

“Foggy said you’re going to Matt’s church again.”

“Oh my-“ You mumbled. “That’s what this is about? Because I sit on a stupid bench?”

“It’s more than just a bench, Y/N.”

“What else is there to say? What are you fishing for?” You sighed heavily and leaned your palms against your countertop, nearly wincing at the sharp contrast of the cool surface against your burning skin. “I’m moving on. Isn’t that what you wanted?”

A series of quick knocks sounded at your door.

“What you both wanted.” You corrected as you went to open the door, seeing Foggy standing on the other side.

“Surprise.” He smiled nervously.

“Whatever intervention or ambush this is, I don’t need it.” You announced as you headed back into the living room. “I’m doing great.”

“I just came to see my friend. We haven’t had time to get together since you’ve been back, given all the other stuff that happened.” Foggy said honestly. You turned to face him and stared for a moment, reading his emotions. You found he wasn’t coming from a place of worry or concern. Just friendship.

You offered a small smile in response as your own headspace cleared. Maybe you needed someone familiar to be around for a bit. “Then you can stay a while. And if you don’t try to pick another fight, Karen, you can stay too.”

You had to admit. Foggy’s good heart and honest energy seemed to be the only thing lately that could help your heart break through.

Back at the church, Sister Maggie was continuing her conversation with Matt.

“Angry, sarcastic, and stubborn. Maybe you don’t have any friends.” Maggie joked, though Matt didn’t find it funny.

“Someone once told me that warriors were meant to be alone.” He answered simply rather than argue. “That caring for people would make me weak.”

“Is that what you told that Exodus girl?”

“Y/N.” Matt said defensively to himself.

“That you’d be weak if you cared? Cause it doesn’t seem like she got the memo.”

“I let people in, I paid a price… If anyone can understand that, it’s her. I won’t make that mistake again.”

“Would she call it a mistake?”

“You really wanna push the Y/N topic, don’t you?” Matt groaned. Not because he didn’t want to talk about Y/N, but because it just hurt too much still.

“She seems to be the only topic that gets you to talk.” Maggie countered.

The conversation then shifted to Job after Matt found his old Bible and the way Matt thought he was serving God the same way. Matt admitted that he didn’t hate God, but he felt he understood Him better and understood where they stood with each other.

“For the record, I had friends. I had a life, a girlfriend and I- I loved her, probably would’ve married her one day. Started a family of our own down the road. I care about people and I’m choosing to let them believe that I’m gone because I am.”

“Tell that to the girl that sits on that bench every morning.”

“You don’t get it.” He sighed.

“I think I do, Matthew. She makes you happy, and that’s the worst thing for you.”

“I know my truth now, Sister.”

“What truth?”

“I’d rather die as the Devil than live as Matt Murdock.”

“So I guess she’d rather live as Y/N, without either, and blame herself for the Devil’s death.”

“At least she’ll live.”

“But what kind of a life is that?”

Sister Maggie left after that, allowing Matt to sit in his own continuous misery. Missing Foggy, Y/N, and Karen. That was his own punishment. He deserved that, for all the pain and suffering he had brought to them. He was better alone, the same as Y/N tried to convince herself she was, and he hoped she had started to believe she was better without him. Difference was that he chose to do what he did. Y/N was made into it. The only thing he would change was that Y/N blamed herself.

That night, Sister Maggie came back.

“I think you’re a hero, hiding down here and feeling sorry for yourself.” She said simply. “Just out back, there’s an orphanage full of kids who’ve lost everything and everyone. Some of them disabled, much worse off than you ever were. And they’re still trying to make the most out of life, the little cowards.”

“Okay, alright.” Matt cut in.

“I mean it! Here you are, with all the gifts God gave you. Handsome, smart, a law degree, people who care about you. You have a beautiful, thoughtful girl that comes here every single day without fail who only wants to see you again. Doesn’t even know you’re here, mind you. But you’re so bravely giving up.”

“Y’know, thank you for the tough love, Sister.” Matt complained as he hobbled across the cold room. “And your charmingly simplistic view of God and the world. I appreciate everything you’ve done for me, I really do, but don’t for a second think you know anything about me or her or my life.”

“I’ve been a nun for 30 years. I know self-pity when I hear it.” She continued. “And I know that she’s had to leave people, without explanation. I know that after losing you, if how she feels is how they all felt, she would’ve done it differently.”

“Yeah? Well, no one died because of her. Twice, actually.”

“You don’t know everything about her past, Matthew. The guilt she carries could be more than yours.”

“But you do?”

“No.. But I do know your father was famous around here. I saw him fight, saw him go down many times. But he never stayed down.” She pressed before she left.

Matt laid in bed that night and thought of her words, and she was right. About his dad at least. He didn’t stay down. But he did have to wonder about what she said about Y/N, regretting the choices she’d made. If she had known the way people hurt when she left - how he hurt when she left - would she have made different choices?

He couldn’t help but think how different his life would’ve been if she had never left. Or if she had never came in the first place.

A few days passed and Matt found some sense of recovery. He managed to clear some of the blockages in his sinuses, allowing him to find some normalcy with training again. Certain moves still hurt, still caused him to fail, but he knew he was on his way back to what he was before. Back to Daredevil.

On your next day off, you were sitting on your usual bench outside the church with your gym bag tucked beneath your feet. You greeted some of the familiar nuns and patrons with a friendly smile, accepting the gentle handshakes and blessings from the older ladies that you were seeing for the first time since you’ve been back. Sister Maggie came and sat beside you, though her usual demeanor was replaced with a jittery energy.

“Something wrong, Sister?” You asked simply as she sighed and you felt the vibrations tingle against your exposed skin.

“Well, Y/N, I don’t know how to ask you this.” She admitted and you shifted to face her fully. “Would you be.. willing to come downstairs with me today?”

“For what?”

“For a… for a fight.”

“A fight..” You repeated and raised your brows. “Since when does the church have a secret fight club?”

“I’m not thrilled about it but I think you’re the best option.”

“Okay…” You agreed hesitantly. “What’s the catch?”

“Well… Have you ever fought blindfolded? Or with your eyes closed?”

You couldn’t help but laugh, though her scowl made you quiet down.

“You’re serious?” Your brows furrowed.

“Unfortunately.”

“Weirdly enough, I have..”

“Of course you have.” She sighed.

“It was a good training exercise.” You shrugged. “It taught me to understand and hone my gifts rather than depending on what I see, kinda like how Matt used to… Well, anyways, did you want me to do it today?”

“If you’re willing.”

You stared at your hands folded in your lap for a moment, tapping your fingers as you thought. It was an odd request, definitely, and it made no sense to you. But the idea did make your nerves tingle and your muscles twitch. It could be fun to repeat an old training drill, despite the clear hesitation and borderline sacrilegious nature of it. There was something Sister Maggie wasn’t telling you, but really, you didn’t care to know all the details.

“Sure.” You shrugged and stood, kneeling for your bag before following the older nun through the halls and down the stairs.

You paused before a rod-iron gate and you could feel the buzzing of your opponent on the other side. A torn cloth was tied tightly across your eyes as Sister Maggie and Father Lantom exchanged a quick, hushed conversation that you were expected to ignore about what was going to take place. You were lead through the room quietly, guided where to leave your bag.

You knelt and pulled your wraps, wrapping them in place easily after your brace was fitted on as you spoke to Lantom while Maggie talked to whoever you were facing. You tapped your hands into your chalk pouch and patted them together to cover your exposed fingers and the back of your covered knuckles with the fine powder.

“Do you have gloves?” He asked simply, though you could picture the way he was fidgeting.

“I’d rather not, if whoever’s over there doesn’t mind.” You answered, nodding towards the unknown figure behind you. “They don’t have to either, just so it’s fair.”

After a moment of quiet, Lantom answered.

“Alright. He’s not wearing a helmet and there’s a lot of marble statues around so try not to beat on him too bad.”

You smiled slightly and turned your head in his direction.

“Shouldn’t you be warning him about going easy on me, too?” You joked and stood, allowing Lantom to turn you towards your opponent and guide you closer. “Given I’m the one that can’t see.”

“No wonder you two got along.” Maggie sighed, though the statement wasn’t directed at you. “Same sense of humor.”

You reached your hand out and felt another meet yours in a quick tap. Your skin flushed warm as you tuned in to your opponent’s feelings, finding yourself warmed with a general anger and an underlying sadness. A brief flash of loneliness and regret, tucked under a suffocating blanket of self-pity that you swore was going to choke you. You cleared the feeling with a light cough as you rolled your shoulders.

They’d be easy enough to keep track of. Your only issue now would be anticipating their moves, given that you knew nothing of their fighting style. All you could assume was that they were a traditional boxer.

You moved first with hopes of keeping enough of an offense that you wouldn’t need to defend against much, throwing two sharp jabs that connected with their stomach. You were met with a brisk hook to your chin that backed you up a few steps. You chuckled lightly and shifted your jaw, having been hit harder than anticipated.

The brief swell of pride gave away where they moved to so you acted quickly, grabbing their shoulders and yanking them down your knee could slam their stomach. When you felt the hands grab your forearms, you spun your hands around so you could break their hold before throwing an elbow against their nose which earned a loud gasp from Sister Maggie. Your next punch was caught, pushing you to the side. When you turned to face them again, you were met with a quick barrage of jabs that you could block with your arms and there was an obvious tell that your opponent was holding back.

“If you’re gonna hit me, hit me. I’m sure I can take it.” You spat with the unintentional tint of your accent and were hit with a heavy wave of panic.

You seized the hesitation and moved back in, landing hit after hit. Lantom and Maggie both tried to call you off, but neither you nor your opponent stopped. You two were trading blows and dodging shots until you managed to get enough room to swing a moderated roundhouse to the side of his head and he dropped.

Lantom guided you out after that while Maggie tended to the other person, both of them unhappy with the results. He thanked you for coming and insisted you keep it quiet. You joked that you didn’t know who you were up against anyway so your story wouldn’t make much sense if you told it. But even as you were leaving, and you couldn’t remove the blindfold until you were the majority of the way up the stairs, you couldn’t deny the feeling that whoever you were up against… Their emotions were familiar, like the sound of an old song that you still miraculously knew the words to but couldn’t remember who sang it.

Something comfortable. Something that was impossible to truly get out of your head.

That night, you were out with Dex for drinks to try and forget about it.

“Why does it look like you got punched in the face?” He laughed, tapping his mouth in the same spot where you knew yours was busted.

“Cause I did.” You admitted with a small smile that tugged the small wound open. “My gym was doing a little amateur boxing showcase type thing earlier so I jumped in after my lifts.”

“Hope you won.”

“Oh, yeah.” You grinned, the action tugging the split skin open further. “Dropped the last guy nice and easy. After I had my fun, of course.”

“Otherwise, y’know, I’d have to find a new partner.”

“Wow.” Your brows raised and he gave you a playful smirk. “Just like that?”

“Just like that.”

“That’s cold, Dex.”

“C’mon.” He chuckled. “You think I can have a partner that loses amateur boxing?”

“Too bad. Looks like you’re stuck with me. Hattley says she likes the way we work.”

“Guess I’ll have to deal with you then, huh?”

“Can’t rid of me that easy. Just ask anyone who knows me.”

As he was walking you home, you felt that familiarity again. It hooked into your chest and was tugging at you, screaming in the back of your head to get closer. You faked a reason to return to the bar - lying that you had left your phone - and hurried the few blocks to get to them. As you were getting closer, you heard a woman yelling for her dad. Her panic urged your feet to move faster, but you were so distracted by the person - likely subconsciously - calling out to you that you almost didn’t notice the car.

The tires skirted along the asphalt and you had to hop back. You leaned on the hood to see through the bright headlights, and the girl driving was more panicked than you were, with mascara stall rubbing down her puffed up cheeks. It was easy to figure out she was the one you heard so you waved her off and kept moving. But when you got to the source, you faltered, only for a second.

“God forgive me.” He mumbled, hardly enough sound for you to hear.

The defeat in his voice - his familiar voice - drove a stake through your chest that let a chilling loneliness creep out and weigh heavily on your skin. With a shiver, you forced the feeling down and focused on the situation in front of you.

One of the men raised their arms but you were quick to yank the pole from their hand. He turned on you almost instantly but you offered a smile before slamming the pole against his temple, seeing an angry gash split almost immediately. You turned and slammed a foot against the kneeling man’s chest and leaned into it, pinning him to the ground. You threw the pole at the other man, seeing the end collide with his nose before you allowed him to gather his partner and take off.

You blew a loose strand of hair from your face and turned your attention back to the man under your shoe.

You heart nearly stopped when you saw the familiar outfit.

“No…” You said quietly, moving your foot to kneel beside him.

Your fingers reached gingerly for the edge of his mask, but just as you were about to grab it, he slammed his forehead against yours and you fell backwards. You let out a loud string of curses in Russian as you rubbed the place of contact but when you looked back, you found he was gone.

You could’ve sworn, as you got up and made your way back to the apartment, that it was the Man in the Mask.

The Devil of Hell’s Kitchen.

Daredevil.

Matt Murdock.

Despite every logical thought in your head, everytime your brain mulled over the facts. Every night you went to bed alone and woke up the same. Every time you realized you missed him but forgot that it was supposed to hurt, when you realized you still weren’t really letting it hurt.

But if you had to put money on that voice being his, you would’ve.

Would it be better if he really was alive? Maybe whatever was cracking through your still cold core would reignite in your chest. You could regain your full sense of humanity and normalcy, return to the Y/N he knew and loved, assuming enough of her still existed at that point.

Or would it only force that floodgate of pain and anger and grief open? Would you find that the girl he knew, the girl you thought you were, was never real? That it’d be too much and you’d fall back into an uncaring, heartless and ruthless person that not even Dreykov would’ve wanted.

Damn him, for throwing your thoughts into a spiral even in death.

Alleged death, now.

The next morning at work, you wished you had stayed home.

“Y/L/N. You’re with me.” An agent you knew a bit, Ray Nadeem, called as he walked by you. He didn’t stay long so you had to move quickly to catch up.

“Where are we going?” You asked as you finally got to his stride.

“Talk to a guy who won’t give us shit. Hattley wants you to go since SWAT has nothing and you’re new but doesn’t want you going alone in case there’s a conflict of interest.”

“So why you? Why not send me with Dex seeing as he’s my actual partner.”

“Cause my number was up next.” He sighed in annoyance. “And didn’t Dex go out of town on assignment this morning?”

“You’re telling me this couldn’t have waited a day or two till he’s back? If he’s gonna give us nothing, what does it matter?”

When you got in the car, he passed you the thick rubber banded folder. You didn’t need to open it to know what case it was, and all thoughts of Matt and his possible survival were shoved from your head.

You were going to talk to Wilson Fisk.

You gripped the file tightly in one hand while pulling your phone. You shot Marc a quick text about Vanessa’s most recent location, and he sent back a short list of what he had since the last time you two spoke along with a rumor of where she’d be headed next. The drive to the prison was relatively quiet, but you could feel there was something eating at Ray. You thought about asking but you figured he wouldn’t want to talk to you about it so you said nothing. Instead, you cleared your throat to break the looming tension.

You two were escorted in after a brief security clearing and sat alone at a small table while the guards led Fisk in.

“Mr. Fisk, I’m Special Agent Ray Nadeem with the Federal Bureau of Investigation.” Ray introduced simply, flashing his badge before gesturing to you.

“Special Agent Y/N Y/L/N, FBI SWAT.” You nodded.

“The FBI would like your assistance with… Let’s just cut to the part where you tell us to eat shit so we can stop wasting each other’s time.”

“Do you have someone in your life that you love so much, you’d do anything to protect them?” Fisk asked solemnly, his eyes lingering on you before turning to Ray.

“Are you threatening us?” He asked quickly.

“I have made many mistakes.” Fisk nodded. “But I accept the debt I’m paying because of them. A debt-” He turned to you again. “-that certain people ensured I could not neglect.”

“He’s not threatening us, not yet at least.” You sighed and leaned forward, your chest hitting the edge of the table. “He’ll talk.” You twisted your fingers under the table to pull on the gnawing worry that was presenting in Fisk. As the man stared you down, you watched the blue mist of sadness cover his eyes and you were given a flash of a name. Vanessa. “Because there’s something we can offer as incentive.”

“What I cannot accept is that the woman I love should have to pay for them, too. I would do anything to protect her.”

“So what is it you’re saying?” Ray asked carefully.

“He wants us to help Vanessa Marianna, some sort of pardon or acquittal, so she can come back to the States.” You explained, drawing a quick head turn from Ray. “She’s been pretty good about avoiding countries with extradition, I’ll give her that. But she’s passed through a couple in Europe, for the sake of art, I bet.”

“She had nothing to do with this!” Fisk said loudly.

“But she knew, didn’t she?” You instigated.

“I want to make a deal.”

“She knew you were a criminal, I bet.”

“Y/L/N.” Ray tried.

“A liar.”

“All I ask, Agent Y/L/N, in exchange is for someone to protect this woman.”

“Let me be frank here. I don’t trust you. I want you to stay in this prison and rot for the rest of your miserable life. Vanessa can run till the money runs out and I have someone grab her. But it’s not about what I want… Give us good information and maybe we’ll look into it. She’s easy enough for me to find anyway.”

The next morning, you and Ray were tasked with leading a raid on the Albanians. It was a show of faith in Fisk, that he’d given you viable information. But even though you didn’t trust a single word out of Fisk’s mouth, your job was by the book now. You had to look into it.

And as much as you hated to say it, Fisk wasn’t lying. You and Ray led the team through a perfectly successful raid. Your office congratulated you both and you accepted the praise with a smile, even though you didn’t like it. Something about everything felt forced, like you were playing exactly the part you were meant to play and it left a grimy feeling across your skin.

You stayed huddled at your temporary desk most of the day, writing your report of the raid and finding any other trivial task that kept you away from prying eyes.

You had a feeling that the path you were on, and maybe all the FBI officers that end up involved, was going to be a rough one.

“Come with me.” Ray said suddenly, tapping your arm.

“Wha- Again?” You answered as you hurried to your feet. “Where are we going?”

“We’re gonna convince Hattley to give us the Fisk detail.”

“What? No, Ray, I don’t want it.”

“Oh, c’mon.” He groaned as you two reached the SAC’s door. “You and I were the only agents to get anything out of him since he got locked up!”

“You think that matters? You have whatever issues - I’m guessing finances since you’re so desperate - and I’m still new SWAT with a conflict of interest. Besides, in case you couldn’t tell, I don’t like Fisk. I don’t like the way he looks at people. I don’t like the way he talks to people. There is no way in hell I go in there and ask for that.”

“Look, he’s afraid of whatever you know. Right? He believes that you can get to Vanessa, without even trying. If you stay involved, even as backup - just a presence in the room. Y/L/N, I promise you, we can get enough for everyone for years.”

“Wow, okay, so you’re just not listening to the whole ‘conflict of interest’ issue? I worked at the firm that built the case that got him locked up and had a tenement case against him. I want that man to die in jail. I don’t care what he can give or what I can take away. You wanna ask her for it? Go ahead. If she asks my opinion, I’ll back you on it. Just leave me out of it.”

All the while, Matt was sulking in the church basement when Sister Maggie came to check on him.

“Give yourself time to heal or you’re gonna get yourself killed.” She said simply.

“You’re probably right.” Matt said quickly before swallowing the pills.

“Is that what you wanted?”

Instead of answering her question, Matt changed the subject.

“She found me last night… Y/N.”

“Did you talk to her?”

“No, I.. I ran off.”

“Do you wish you had talked to her?”

“I heard her heartbeat.. Seemed like the first time when she didn’t let me hear it but I heard it on my own. Something about her is different…”

“She’s been through a lot since you’ve been gone, not just counting what you did.”

“What happened?” Matt asked softly.

“Maybe if you let her be here, there’d be less of your self-pitying bullshit to throw around. She could knock some sense into you and you could ask her yourself.”

“Why did you become a nun?” He asked instead when he realized she wouldn’t tell him. He’d have to find a chance to ask Y/N instead.

“I heard God’s call.”

“So you feel like being a nun is what you’re meant to be?”

“Yes.” She said with finality. “Very much.”

“What if you couldn’t be anymore? If it were taken from you?”

“Your point being that if we can’t fulfill our calling, we might be better off as worm food?”

“Just answer the question.”

“Okay.. But let me ask you something first. What do you think Y/N’s calling is?”

He sighed heavily as he thought about it. As much as he missed her and he yearned her - as much as his own heart was probably betraying him and calling out for her in a way only she would feel - he didn’t want to talk about her. He didn’t want to be reminded of the pain he’d caused her. The way he essentially abandoned her at Midland Circle.

“Helping people.” He said finally, deciding how he wanted to word it. “Y/N was always meant to help people. Inside the law or outside of it, she knew she could make a difference.”

“I wouldn’t lose faith, Matthew, if I couldn’t fulfill my calling.” She explained with a slight edge to her voice. “I’d find some other purpose.”

“If you can be anything else, it was never really your calling.” Matt countered bitterly. “Just tell me, honestly. If you could no longer be a nun, wouldn’t you grieve?”

“Of course I would.. But this isn’t grief. This is-“

“Just please… Go away.”

“I understand what it’s like to feel lost.” She offered, with a much gentler tone than before. “It happened to me too once, a long time ago when I was still a novitiate. I left the order for a while.”

“Why?”

“I was considering a very different life… It was wonderful and terrifying. I struggled to know which life God wanted me to choose. I prayed. I looked for signs. In the end, I had to do my best to figure it all out.”

“Well, that there is the difference between us. I no longer care what God wants.”

You found your way to the church that night after work. You were texting Dex when Sister Maggie came and sat beside you with a heavy sigh, the sigh of a woman almost too tired to keep pushing. But that, you realized, was something that set Sister Maggie apart from the other nuns you had met.

She was too stubborn to quit on anyone. And maybe that was why you liked talking to her, because it seemed like she wasn’t quitting on you.

“I thought you’d grown bored of this place.” She offered with a bit of amusement, though she was clearly worn down. “Or that little event scared you away.”

“No.” You chuckled. “He got me good, I’ll admit. And it was strange. But it takes more than a cheap shot to get rid of me.”

“We missed you this morning. Some of the older ladies.. They asked about the ‘sweet young girl who sits outside’.”

“That’s what they call me?” You smiled slightly.

“Well, they just don’t know better.”

You couldn’t help but laugh.

“How are you today, Y/N?” She asked honestly.

“It has not been my favorite… Work was interesting. We had this raid and it worked, I’m not complaining about that. It’s what I’m supposed to be doing with this job, y’know? But… The guy that gave us the information, I can’t stand him. Honestly, Sister, I hate him. And I don’t like this feeling of having to be around him again.”

“Do you feel the FBI is your calling?”

“I don’t think I have a calling.” You said honestly. “I’ve tried a lot of different things. The assassin I was raised to be, a mercenary, a lawyer, a vigilante, private security, now FBI… I just wanted to help people who needed it, who were stuck under someone else’s thumb. People like me when I was little, with no one willing to protect them. And I have, in a lot of different ways, but I don’t know about my calling.”

“In some aspects, you remind me of Matthew… When he was younger, of course.”

“In a good way?”

She sighed slightly but offered a fond smile, remembering Matt as a child striking a sentimental cord.

“He was always angry, sometimes lost. He always seemed like he was fighting, be it against himself or the city’s darkness when he got older.” She continued, her eyes falling downward as she toyed with her fingers. “But at his core, he had a good heart, up until his end. And I truly believe you do, too.”

You smiled slightly. Maybe Matt was right after all. Maybe you did have your own light.

“What about you, Sister? What’s wearing you down today?”

“There’s a man who… Well, he’s a great many things. Stubborn, mainly, but also defeated. And I can’t seem to find what sparks a want to continue.”

“Is he alone? No friends or family.”

“He’s not. He has both, or had, I suppose. Friends, even a girlfriend. But he doesn’t want them to know where he is.”

“Sounds lonely..”

She hummed in agreement.

“So why not let him rot in his misery alone? If he’s so determined to isolate himself, maybe you should let him.”

“This one, I’m personally responsible for.”

“How so?”

“He grew up here.” She answered simply but there seemed to be something else there, though you didn’t ask.

“Ah… Well, if he’s really choosing this solitude, I’d say just be there for him, best you can be. He’ll probably keep trying to push and seclude himself but if you really feel you have to help him, just keep pushing back. I know that for me, after Matt, I pushed away the only two friends I thought I had in this city... And I thought that hiding behind Billy and Anvil… I thought those things could fix me, spark something in me, but they didn’t. It just made me feel worse until it got to a point where I didn’t want to feel anything. I didn’t want to die per say, but I didn’t wanna live like that anymore. So I buried everything and threw myself into a fight that didn’t really involve me, then I got stuck with this.” You shook the wrist with the brace.

“And how do you feel now?”

“Somewhere in between, I think. Nothing’s perfect and there’s still this hollowness in my chest but… I can talk about him without feeling like I’m suffocating. I realized that I can’t just shut everything off and expect people to stick around. I care about people and I have to kinda take the good with the bad, even when it almost kills me. When it takes a piece of me and buries it hundreds of feet below the city.”

“We all heal in our own ways.”

“Yeah.. Problem was, I didn’t know how to grieve on my own. When I was a kid, we weren’t allowed to grieve. It was either someone came back or they didn’t. As long as you were still standing, you kept moving. And when Elektra died, I had Matt. But then Matt was gone and I went home every night to no one. I didn’t know what else to do other than distract myself. I’ve made mistakes but I’m trying to do better.”

“All we can do is take things one day at a time..” She nodded before she stood. “I truly do enjoy our little chats. Till next time, Y/N.”

“Good night, Sister.”

[lollytea]

You must check out the storyboards for the montage for Thanks to Them!

https://at.tumblr.com/hayleynwong/part-%C2%BC-of-some-samples-of-my-boards-from-the-owl/jr8mbm4h4xx9

The final cut made the huntlow haircut scene MORE overtly shippy than the boards did. Finally it's the reverse

Also Hunter isn't getting attacked by bees in his picture with Willow, he was smiling and posing with her! And we almost didn't get Willow sleeping like a gremlin based on these boards

SO IVE HEARD

HAYLEY BOARDS HAYLEY BOARDS HAYLEY BOARDS!!!

God she really is a huntlow menace lmao. This isn't the first time her boards with those two were way too obviously shippy and had to be toned down a bit in the final product.

The original version of the haircut would have been soooo sweet tho. Like he was so horrified by what he saw in the mirror that he had a fucking panic attack. But then once Willow arrives on the scene it cuts to him looking all soft and smiley, really hammering in the influence she has over his emotions and what a calming presence she has in his life. In the final version he still looks a little uneasy and we know this is cuz Willow Park is cutting his hair rather than any angsty reason but still. The contrast between angst panic and smitten smiling would have been fantastic. Oh and if he still glanced down to the witch hunter book and his smile immediately dropped before pushing it away. Oh that would have hurt so good.

I love Hunter being rendered a speechless mess whenever Willow is around but I think adding a big stupid smile to his face at the same time is what really makes it. I adore the idea that if she makes him nervous, it's in a way that he likes. She makes him foolishly giddy.

(Oh no. Hope this doesn't sound like I'm bashing the final product. I would never. Huntlow haircut scene my beloved.)

ANYWAY the original garden picture is adorable!!! It's so wholesome. I can almost imagine somebody deciding it's too wholesome. Spice it up a bit. Which resulted in the bees. But man, they were spending time alone together 🥺 He's probably never tended to a garden before so she was teaching him how 🥺 They both looked so happy. The way Hunter would have kept that picture by his bedside. Can't complain tho. The fact that the picture he ended up keeping was him getting chased by bees could not make any more obvious that he kept it just because Willow was in it. Idk what to tell you, that is love.

I feel like Willow's sleeping position was probably added in the later stages of development so they changed one of the boards last minute to match. I like to think the crew was as entertained by it as we are.

Another thing I've noticed is that one scene from the shack where you can see the kids' drawings of their parents. Luz has also pinned up a drawing of Eda and it kinda makes you wonder why they cut that out of the final version. I like to think it plays into her current tendency to isolate herself because of guilt and downplay her own loss and put the families of her friends as what they should be concerned with right now. So instead, her longing to see her own Boiling Isles families is confined to her own personal space (like her desk, notebooks, locker.) while the parents of Willow, Gus and Amity are considered the "important" stuff.

Also Hunter seems to have pinned up a drawing of the Golden Guard mask??? Hmm. Hmmmmm. What is to be said about that? I don't really know but it's very interesting

[forsakenoathkeeper]

I Am Alive (chapter 6/?)

Deviant!Connor[RK800] x (fem!)Reader Rated M(18+) for canon-typical violence and gore, medical procedures, and graphic sexual content

Synopsis: You were a mechanical engineer, now a nurse for androids, who moved back to Detroit after the revolution to offer aid. After reconciling with an old friend, you became rather acquainted with his android partner.

Please support me on AO3 & thanks for reading ♥

The rain had finally started to die down when Connor pulled into the Thirium Clinic's parking lot. There were only a couple other cars present, likely your coworkers.

The android retrieved an umbrella from his trunk before trotting over to the entrance. Not wanting to make a mess by dripping water all over the place, he decided to wait outside, beneath the awning covering the front entrance.

"I'm right outside," he messaged you.

Not even a full minute later, a nurse came sprinting through the building, over to the front door. He could see her through the window, and lifted a brow at the sight. She smacked the door with her side, swinging it open, and hung half her body out the doorway.

"Are you Connor?" she asked, beaming with a wild grin.

"...yes," he replied, feeling strangely uneasy under her gaze.

The nurse stuck her head back inside and shouted, "I told you he was an android! You owe me twenty bucks!"

She turned back around to face Connor. "You can come inside - already a mess in here anyway," she said before immediately flinging herself back inside.

Connor hesitated for a moment before letting himself in; sure enough, the roof had leaked at the seam, which allowed water to come pouring in through a gap in the wall. There were puddles everywhere. The nurses for closing shift didn't seem the least bit perturbed by it.

"We've been dying to meet you," the nurse who had made a bet about him proclaimed.

Another nurse approached, a backpack slung over his shoulder. He fished his wallet out of his pocket and threw a folded twenty-dollar bill at the other nurse. It smacked her on the side of the head before fluttering to the ground.

She hastily snatched it off the floor and waved it in the air, laughing maniacally for a second. She shoved the crinkled bill in her pocket before turning her head to the android.

"Soooo, what do you do, Connor?" she asked sweetly.

"I'm a detective with the Detroit Police Department," Connor answered, his hand unconsciously lowering to straighten his tie. Considering it was sopping wet, it was a pointless effort.

"That puts a new meaning to 'blue blood', huh?" she teased, elbowing the other nurse.

"Sir, I want this woman arrested for shitty jokes," he said dryly. "It's physically hurting me."

"Tch. Shut up," she retorted, lacking any real spite. In fact, she was still smiling. "My jokes are amazing."

"They're criminal," he retorted, lip twitching.

You came around the corner, bag in tow, jacket zipped up over your scrubs, hair pulled back sloppily. Your eyes landed on Connor and-

-oh damn.

He had said he got caught in the rain; but, he wasn't just a little dampened, he was absolutely soaked, clothes clinging to his body. The best part was that Connor didn't seem the least bit perturbed by his state, standing there, completely unbothered by it.

"You're a little wet?" you chuckled as you walked up to him.

Connor's lip twitched into a nervous smile. "Sorry. I promise the car is dry - well, except for the driver's seat."

You looked up at Connor's freckled face like a lovestruck moron. A week and some odd days was way too long. He was more handsome than you remembered, gorgeous smile on his lips, brown eyes reflecting the shiny, obnoxious overhead lights. His LED was shining a magnificent blue.

"So, this is the one you've been keeping from us?" the female nurse teased as the party headed for the door. The male nurse took care of the light switches along the way.

"Everyone needs to be protected from you," the male nurse jutted in, loudly, to make sure she heard him.

"I haven't been keeping him from you," you laughed.

"You probably should," the female nurse teased. "He's way too cute."

You seemed embarrassed by that, a slight blush on your cheeks, trying to hold back soft laughter. You were forthcoming with how attracted you were to him in private; yet, Connor still felt pride bubble up inside him when that same attraction was presented in front of others.

Was that... normal?

"See you idiots tomorrow," you teased on the way out. The male nurse locked the door while the other stayed behind so they could walk to their car together.

Connor was prepared to open the umbrella, but realized the raining had stopped.

"Let's hurry before it picks back up," you said before starting a trot over to Connor's car.

As soon as you slid into the passenger, tossing your bag into the back, you realized it was still warm in the car.

"Did you...?" you uttered as Connor slid into the driver's seat. "-run the heater for me?"

"Yes," he replied plainly.

"Oh - thank you." You felt embarrassed knowing that he took the time to be mindful of things that, as an android, he was unaffected by.

Connor started the car and carefully peeled out of the parking lot.

"Your coworkers are very curious of me," Connor observed. You glanced over at him, perfect posture, hands on the wheel in the textbook locations they were supposed to be. You hadn't thought about it when he brought you to his apartment, but Connor drove a manual transmission. It made you wonder if he used his car for work more than he let on. Or maybe he just felt more comfortable like this?

"Yeah, they're just being dorks," you replied softly, tearing your eyes away from him.

"I hope they don't trouble you."

Connor left it unspoken; but, you knew what he was referring to.

"Oh - no, it's not - people are just like that. It has nothing to do with you being an android," you insisted. "You know - they're just being nosy."

"I understand. Officers at the precinct enjoy gossiping about each other's relationships," Connor said, some intrigue in his voice.

"Oh?" You hummed. "What kind of gossip goes on about you?"

"I don't believe they think I am capable of it," Connor explained.

Capable of dating? -of sex? His words brought a frown to your face, not that it was particularly surprising. You had wondered what kind of environment Connor worked in. Was he an equal part of the team or just another android? Somehow, you doubted it was the former. Hank was probably the only one who gave him any respect.

"It doesn't bother me," Connor added, sensing your frustration.

"Oh, I - I shouldn't butt into your job," you said.

"I don't see it as 'butting in'," Connor uttered. His eyes had been focused on the road; but, he let them shift to you for a second. "I like when you ask questions about me."

That made you smile. He said it as if it was something he wasn't quite used to experiencing. "Then, I have something I wanna ask - is there anything you've wanted to do? -something you were afraid to ask about? -or, just, didn't have the chance?"

Connor's LED shifted to yellow for a moment as he pondered your question.

"A concert," he blurted out. Not expecting that answer, you looked over at him, intrigued. He seemed really concentrated, taking your question very seriously.

"They seem overwhelming," he added on with some uncertainty. "But, I think it would be fun to experience something like that," he continued, sounding a bit more confident this time. His LED shifted back to blue.

"You know you said you wanted to treat me to something?" You asked. "Then, let's do a concert."

"Well, I - uhm - wanted it to be something that you wanted," he said, almost apologetically.

"I do," you said with a chuckle, shifting your eyes back to the road. "I haven't been to one since I was a kid. It'll be fun. -and, taking you to your first concert would be an honor."

"I'll do my best to make it enjoyable," he stated - no, promised.

"You don't have to-" you began, cutting yourself off when you realized he wasn't really going to listen. You grumbled quietly to yourself. When your eyes shifted to the android for a second, you caught him smiling.

Sometime later, the car slid into your driveway.

You remained seated, staring ahead like an idiot. Connor didn't say anything, either because he was polite, or because he didn't want to leave.

"Do you wanna come inside and dry off?" you blurted, turning to Connor.

He seemed surprised by your question, eyebrows lifting slightly.

"I - I mean-" you sputtered. Simultaneously, Connor answered, "yes."

You smacked your mouth shut, and Connor uttered, "I don't want to keep you up late?" not very convincingly.

"You wouldn't," you squeaked. "-and some towels to dry your car?"

"T-that would be nice," Connor stated, a little more confidently.

"Y-yea," you stammered before rotating around to slip out of the car. Connor shut it off while you fished your bag out of the backseat and scurried inside.

You tossed your bag onto the dining table - that was never actually used for dining - and made a dash for the master bathroom. After fishing out some towels, you returned to the entryway, where Connor had waited patiently.

"I might have something that fits you if you want a change of clothes?" you offered as you handed him the towels. "I could go look for - uhm..."

You could have smacked yourself being this way. You were dating, had sex, for fucks sake. This shouldn't be so damn hard.

"Thank you," Connor replied, caught off guard by the offer. "Are you s-?"

"It's no trouble," you interrupted him gently, giving him an encouraging nudge.

Connor returned to his car and you sprinted into your bedroom to rummage through your dressers. You definitely had some oversized lounge pants that would fit him. When you fished them out - light grey, strings missing - you tossed them onto the bed and kept digging.

Sure enough, you had a couple white T-shirts leftover from your days in uni. The course demanded white and you decided to buy men's because they were cheaper, and large was the only size they had left at the time. At least, they were going to come in handy again.

The android was waiting in your entryway again when you exited to look for him.

"Hope this is alright?" you offered, holding the clothes up.

He hardly glanced at them. "Anything would be adequate."

Anything? Well, geez, then wear nothing.

-you wanted to say.

"You can come inside," you laughed, gesturing to the hallway that led to your bedroom. Connor followed you through the living room to your bedroom and into the connected bathroom. You set the clothes on the countertop near the sink. When you turned around, Connor was already undressing.

It wasn't new, but-

-it still swarmed your tummy with butterflies.

To distract yourself, and so you wouldn't stare at him stupidly, you retreated to your bedroom to change out of your scrubs and into something more comfortable. Connor stepped out of the bathroom just in time to see you pull a shirt over your head and cover any exposed skin.

You turned to see him standing there, looking almost nervous, out of his element. Up until now, you had only seen Connor dressed prim and proper, or not dressed at all. He looked startlingly good in a plain white shirt and grey lounge pants, or maybe you just liked how domestic it was.

You were about to blurt out a question: to ask him if he was thirsty. When you remembered, he couldn't.

"Oh - uhm - I forgot something," you uttered, stepping towards him.

"What was it?" he asked, brow furrowing. "Do we need to go back to the-"

Connor silenced himself when he saw you leaning in, the look in your eyes ushering him closer. He met you halfway. It was brief, chaste, but enthusiastic. He closed his eyes, and let himself get swept away for a moment. It felt good, maybe better than it did last time because he was starving, something he didn't know he was capable of.

When you leaned back, you uttered against his mouth, "thank you for the ride."

Connor's LED flashed red as he contemplated leaning back in and claiming your mouth again. You were also standing between him and your bed. All it would take was a little nudge to get you falling onto the sheets.

No-

-that was-

-inappropriate.

His LED hummed to yellow and then back to blue as he calmed his processor.

"No need to thank me," he replied, almost robotically.

You turned away, saying over your shoulder, "gonna get a drink."

As Connor followed you into the kitchen, he looked around your house casually. It was simple, furnished lightly, hardly any decorations. Then again, you had just moved back here not too long ago.

In the kitchen, you poured some juice from a pitcher in the fridge, and sipped it. The android joined you in the kitchen and leaned against the counter, posture slouching, collar on the shirt wide enough that it exposed his collar bones.

"Not as fancy as your apartment," you commented, noticing he was looking around.

"I didn't realize it was," he replied, sincere. "Hank referred to it in that sense, as well."

You laughed quietly before chugging the rest of your drink. It was easy to see Hank saying something like that about Connor's apartment. He probably had a few other choice words that Connor decided not to mention.

"I bet you two had some crazy shenanigans when you first met," you said, beaming at Connor.

Connor chuckled warmly, looking down at the floor for a second. "The first night we met, I had - ugh - spilt Hank's drink and he threatened to attack me, and I informed him that I was 'worth a small fortune'."

"Oh?" you chuckled. "How much we talkin' here? I've got student loan debts," you teased, tapping your chin in faux consideration.

The corner of Connor's lip twitched. "Are you plotting to get rid of me for a profit?" he asked, voice lowering an octane. It was clear he was joking, but there was something a little dangerous to his tone.

"Maybe-" you laughed.

"Because that is very illegal," Connor explained. The laughter drained from your face and you stared at him, very much enjoying the change in tone in his voice. His eyes were the only indicator that he wasn't being serious. Something mischievous was in his gaze.

You saw his LED fade form blue to yellow as he continued, "as an officer of the law, I would have to arrest you for conspiring to comit a crime." His slight grin broke the tension in his voice.

"What if I said I was sorry?" you offered, stepping into his space. Connor looked down at you, crossed between predatory and innocent. Sometimes, it startled you how he managed to look like a seasoned detective and eager rookie at the same time.

He had a few inches on you. You loved how he had to crane his neck a little to catch your eyes.

"You can't bribe me," he uttered carefully.

You hummed, accepting the challenge that Connor had not realized he made. Your hands fell onto his chest, slowly falling down the material of the shirt, testing the waters. Connor let you, standing stiffly against the counter. He was staring at you fiercely.

What if-

Would he like it if-

Part of you was afraid he would be uncomfortable by the suggestion. Part of you wanted to take the risk.

The look in Connor's eyes changed drastically when you slowly sunk to the ground in front of him, like he suddenly had no idea what was going on.

"Ugh-" he stammered when your hands lowered to the hem of his shirt, pushing the fabric up and out of the way to dig your fingers into the hem of his sweatpants. He was already pitching a tent, you realized, as your face lowered to crotch level.

Oh-

-he definitely knew what was going on.

Connor gripped the edge of the counter for dear life. "I-I was just joking," he stammered out. "You don't have to-"

"I know," you replied, giving him a very real smile.

Connor visibly relaxed, his panicked eyes shifting between your eyes and your mouth. You saw his adam's apple bob, a gesture that he had no need for, being an android.

"Do you want me to stop?" you asked, hands stopped at his waist.

His LED flashed to red for a second before returning to its golden hue. "No," he replied lowly.

Connor looked incredibly nervous despite the fact that this wasn't your first sexual encounter together. He had given you amazing lip service last time, and you were dying to return the favor. You didn't exactly get the opportunity to appreciate his anatomy properly.

You slipped the hem of his lounge pants down until his cock bobbed free. He wasn't fully hard yet, which surprised you because you didn't know that was an option. You had anticipated it would behave like an on and off switch; however, it seemed that you had misjudged the intricacies of his anatomy.

You pressed a kiss to the tip and heard Connor sharply suck a breath in through his nose.

"You okay?" you uttered, your lips still close, knowing full well he would feel your breath against his skin.

His LED flickered to red again for a brief second before back to yellow. You were tantalized by the thought of what exactly it was you were doing to him: what buttons were you pushing, what types of thoughts rushed through his mind.

His brown eyes were hypnotizing, more beautiful than anything you had ever seen before and expressive to a fault. They constantly changed between raw hunger and innocent passion.

"Yes," Connor eventually answered.

You ducked your head down to kiss at the base and slowly trailed back to the tip, taking your sweet ass time to mask the fact that you were admiring him.

You wrapped your dominant hand around him, reveling in the feel of his skin. It was smooth, velvety, dragged along the artificial organ beneath. It was easy, very easy, to forget that his cock wasn't real. It was indistinguishable from any human's.

He had freckles on his thighs, like sprinklings of spilt coffee, and freckles in the dip where his thigh met his torso. His pubes were neatly assembled around his base and trailed up to end beneath his belly button, soft but still wiry like real hair.

-somebody took the time to make him look this, you realized.

You had to force that thought away. This wasn't about that, this was about him.

You pushed those thoughts away by sucking the tip into your mouth and sinking halfway down, forcing a strangled grunt from the android. You felt him harden fully, stiffening in your mouth. It startled you a little. You shifted back to the tip, lapped your tongue at the underside, and sunk back down. Connor moaned, a staticky, broken sound.

Oh. You had missed those noises: his voice box going on the frits as his processor was too busy focusing on the feelings in his sex to simultaneously deliver proper audio output.

Eager, spurred on by his beautiful noises, you took in as much as you could and near choked, sputtering and coughing when you went too deep.

Connor's hand landed on your shoulder and he huffed out a weak, "a-are you okay?"

You hummed around his member - the vibration briefly putting him on edge - and slid back. Keeping your hand around the spot that you recognized as your limit, you bobbed your head back down, till your lips met your palm. You stroked what your mouth couldn't fit.

Connor's hand maneuvered off your shoulder to the back of your head, where he caressed you with the type of loose touch that suggested he was afraid to grab you too hard. He stared like he was possessed, awestruck at the sight of his cock disappearing past your lips, overwhelmed by the simple fact that you wanted to do this to him.

He wasn't sure why-

You had engaged in intercourse-

-but this-

-this was different.

Connor was released into the world with a different understanding of humans compared to most androids. While he was given instructions on who to obey and when, he wasn't exactly made to serve humans, at least not traditionally as most androids were.

That translated to having a knowledge for social issues that most androids did not.

As such, he knew full well that there was a power dynamic in this action, one that could be perceived as degrading. You were on your knees, servicing his phallus with your mouth-

-surrendering of power.

-giving of trust.

But, when he took in the sight of you, cheeks flushed pink, lips swollen from the friction, eyes closed peacefully and brow lowered in concentration - you seemed pleased at the opportunity to do this to him. Maybe Connor understood; after all, he had dived face first into your sex the second it was presented to him.

Lost in his thoughts - trying not to be lost in his thoughts - trying not to overanalyze, or analyze at all - Connor failed to realize he had been puffing out little noises through his mouth each time his cock slid back into your mouth. It was a faint sound that resembled an inhale.

You heard it, and you loved it - you loved that you could do that to him: this powerful android.

His fingers were tangled loosely in your hair, barely holding on, mostly as a gesture of praise than to maintain control. You did, however, notice the faint way his hips shifted forward slightly, urging you to continue when you sunk back down. You cupped your free hand over his hip and uselessly attempted to hold him down. He seemed to notice, eventually, and suddenly halted his movements.

In your enthusiasm, you managed to drool all over him. Excess saliva coated your palm, which aided in jerking him off. Your hand trailed behind your mouth when you slid back and forth, creating a symphony of lewd, wet noises. You paused to suction tightly around him and carefully draw back to the tip. Connor hissed out a loud, staticky, "aahhhh."

He was trying to watch you; but, as his orgasm approached, his optic sensor began to fail him. He could feel the tension rising in his core, his thirium pump overexerting to keep up with the demand on his processor. His sensor's focus was shifting to his cock, the feeling of the countertop digging into his back starting to go numb.

Connor's fingers suddenly tightened against the back of your head, the pads of his fingers gently digging into your skull. He seemed like he couldn't decide if he wanted to pull you off or push you down.

"W-wa - s-stop," he panted. "-m close-"

You pulled off with an obscene, wet sound, giving him just the slightest break, enough to refocus his eyes. Your hand lowered for a second to cup his sack. Of course, that felt as real as it looked. You squeezed gently and saw his jaw tighten.

"Why do you want me to stop?" you uttered, voice a little hoarse. You almost didn't recognize yourself, sounding so sinful.

"I want to..." he responded lowly, trailing off as you started stroking him again, tugging gently at his shaft. Connor didn't know what the correct answer was. He wanted to touch and please you, too; but, he wasn't being entirely selfless. He wanted to take you again.

"What's your refractory period?" you uttered, sounding quite debauched, lips wet and jaw tired.

Connor gawked at you for a moment, and you ate up that delicious expression. He looked fucked out of his mind, gaze hazy and cheeks red.

"4.27 seconds," he answered lowly.

You almost laughed. He definitely searched his manual for the answer to that.

"Then, come for me," you encouraged, immediately drawing him back into your mouth. It startled a moan out of him.

You were more enthusiastic this time, drawing in as much as you could and sliding back tightly, mouth hot and dripping wet with saliva. The sensation started to claw its way through him again.

He didn't have to obey humans anymore. He broke down every wall that his programming had built up around his free will. However, your gentle command, breathed like a plea on his skin, spurred him on. He doubted he could stop even if he wanted to.

Connor let go of your head and let his hand slide down your back, settling at the top of your spine. He hunched over, thighs trembling and groaning, something like the thrum of an engine rumbling in his chest, mingled with the voice of his audio output unit and the mechanical pieces in his chassis. He moaned hoarsely, a sound that wasn't quite human. His hips shifted, bucking gently into your mouth, as he chased the sensation.

It shouldn't have-

-but fuck if it didn't make your clit throb painfully.

You slid back to the tip so you could look up and catch the sight of him doubled over in pleasure. His eyes were squeezed shut, jaw clenched, LED shining magnificent crimson. There was a faint red tint to his cheeks and the tops of his ears. Fuck, he looked beautiful - and you, you did that.

You fluttered your eyes shut and continued working him over through his orgasm, until he relaxed against the counter, straightening his posture. His hand maneuvered around to cup your jaw and gently pull you off of him. He was huffing in air to cool his systems, eyes taking in your face with adoration.

"You okay?" you asked lowly, ignoring the ache in your jaw and the numbness in your mouth from the friction.

"Y-yeah," he breathed.

He reached for you with his other hand, bending over slightly to help you rise off your knees. As soon as you were standing, his arms wrapped around your back and tugged you in. He claimed your mouth hungrily. You reciprocated as best you could, feeling less like you were being kissed and more like you were being devoured, not that you minded.

Your hands gripped his shoulders for dear life while one of his hands maneuvered to the back of your neck, holding gently to keep you where he wanted you. He liked how puffy your lips felt, tasting you with the knowledge that you were just tasting him - that this sinful mouth brought him to completion - that you wanted to do that to him.

Rutting against each other in the kitchen, you realized he was still hard as steel between you. Either taking consideration for the question you had asked him... or, maybe, he decided that he just wasn't done with you yet.

Connor pulled back when you started huffing pathetic breaths of air through your nose. You gasped when your mouth was finally free.

"Sorry - sorry," he stammered out.

You huffed a short, breathless laugh. Sorry for wanting you so bad... the nerve.

Connor ducked his head down into your neck and lapped his tongue against your throat. You hummed at the sensation, letting your head fall back, easing into the touch.

"Please?" he pleaded into your neck. One of his hands was teasing the hem of your pajama bottoms, right at the base of your spine.

"Mhmm," you hummed pathetically.

The android's hand dipped down, past the hem of your panties and in between your thighs. His longest digit dipped between your folds. You were already dripping wet and slippery with arousal. His finger glided through your folds and found your entrance effortlessly, slipping in with ease.

"Oh," Connor breathed against your throat, surprised by how soaked you were. His breath was hot like the exhaust out of an engine and nearly burned your skin.

You were so, so warm on the inside, walls squishy and compliant to his intrusion. He almost couldn't believe that you had gotten this excited over sucking him off.

He crooked his finger and you cried out, "fuck!" breathless and desperate, clinging to him like you were afraid you were going to fall. He continued that gesture, stretching you tenderly. At this angle, he couldn't reach your clit. But, that was fine; right now, you just wanted him inside you.

"Okay - okay - that's enough," you urged, pushing at him until he let go. "Bed - bed - please."

You had intended for Connor to turn around and walk and you would follow behind him; you didn't expect the android to scoop you up and carry you effortlessly through the house.

"Wait - wait," you pleaded before he could set you on the bed. Connor complied and carefully set you down on your feet, looking at you with nervous eyes, as if he had made a mistake.

You gave him a soft smile and then a gentle push and then another, until he got the message and sat down at the edge of the bed. His palms fell into the sheets and he leaned back slightly, staring at you with bright, brown eyes and LED a vibrant gold hue.

You admired him as you slid your bottoms and underwear off, very much enjoying how he looked, seated at the edge of your bed, cock hanging out, hungry look in his eyes.

He was oozing lubrication from the tip in preparation for what was to follow. His eyes didn't leave yours when he reached down to smear it down his shaft. He didn't intend to make a show of it; but, you looked down and stared just a little longer than necessary.

When you approached, he stopped, and let that hand fall back into the sheets. You took hold of his shoulders and carefully climbed onto his lap, thighs on either side of his.

"Oh," Connor sighed, suddenly understanding why you had nudged him onto the bed.

You smiled, feeling like a seductress. Your forehead fell against his and a sigh slipped free when you felt that velvety tip brush against your folds. You shifted your hips and lowered, slowly impaling yourself on his length.

Connor's head fell back and he hummed, groaning low in his throat. The faint distortion in his sound lit a fire in your belly. His hands lifted to brush your thighs, sliding up to settle at your hips. He touched carefully, as if he wasn't sure if he was allowed to. The look he was giving you was tantalizing: hunger and adoration.

You gripped his shoulders for balance and slid up until his cock was only halfway inside you before rolling your hips back down. You moaned, fanning hot air over his cheeks. Again, he managed to leave you awestruck.

"Ohh, Connor," you breathed, wrapping your arms around his shoulders to bring him in closer.

The android nuzzled his face into your neck, resisting the urge to thrust up into you. Your mouth was warm; but, your sex was burning hot, muscles fluttering around him.

Connor peppered kisses along your jaw, artificial breath heavy on your skin, expelling the heat generated from his processor. You could feel the texture change in his hands when his skin faded away to expose the android flesh beneath. It didn't bother you if he gained pleasure in analyzing you. It must have, for Connor groaned into the skin of your neck.

His hands lifted suddenly, curling beneath the hem of your shirt. You removed your arms from him briefly so he could pull the fabric through and toss it somewhere in the room to be forgotten. Connor's shirt followed soon after.

Your bodies clung together again, chest to chest. This time, Connor's mouth sought out yours. The kiss wasn't particularly wet; but, it was noisy, sloppy, fleshy sounds echoing between you. His hands continued to smooth up and down your back, the rough texture of his android skin leaving goosebumps.

"Is it uncomfortable?" he uttered, some insecurity in this tone. He was so close, his lips brushed yours when he spoke.

"Not at all," you panted against his mouth.

You nudged against him until he complied and leaned back, flat on the bed. You braced your hands on his chassis, palms flat on his chest. Connor stared up at you like he had no idea where he was. His hands continued tracing an invisible trail along your waist and thighs, like it was the only thing keeping him grounded.

You rolled your hips, riding him a little more enthusiastically. "Oohh fuck," you uttered, low in your throat, breathlessly. Connor stared, awestruck at the sight of you above him, shifting your hips to take him in deeper, hands pressing down on him. The pleasured look on your face, eyes closed and mouth open, while you took and took was enough to drive him insane.

He was trying to be still, in case this was how you wanted him to be. But, he could sense your frustration, hear it in your voice, feel it in the way your hips shuddered, trying to grind down harder, to get him deeper.

"Please," you whimpered pathetically, eyes fluttering open to look down at him: freckles splattered down his body, muscles tight as the tension rose in his body, pleasure etched across his face.

Connor experimentally lifted his hips to meet yours. Your eyes fell shut and you moaned loudly. Well, he didn't have to be told twice.

After a few thrusts, your hands slipped and you fell on him, chest to chest. Your hands fell onto the sheets and you briefly attempted to sit back up; however, Connor kept the momentum going. Immediately, you gave up and went limp above him, letting him drive into you at the speed he wanted.

You lifted up onto your elbows to kiss him. You missed and pressed a sloppy wet kiss against his cheek. Thinking it was intentional, Connor kissed back against your cheek. You would have laughed if not for the fact that he was churning up your insides.

Your head fell into his hair where you uttered lewd encouragements . "Please - please - mm'close. Con - nor - fuck me - aghh. Don't - stop." He turned his head, lips falling against the shell of your ear. Likely, he intended to say something; however, all that came out was static. Of all things, it was that that pushed you over the edge. You panted and wheezed above him, shuddering violently. Connor could feel it in the thundering of your heartbeat and the way your walls tightened around him.

Connor's head tilted back, pressed down into the sheets, and his eyes pinched shut. His LED was a magnificent shade of crimson.

When he finally stilled, his hands were still holding your waist.

"Connor?" you breathed, finding the strength to lean up and look at him.

His eyes were closed and he wasn't moving.

"Connor?" you asked again, some panic rising in your voice. He turned his head with a small twitch, eyes blinking in tune with his LED. The color softened to blue. "Did you soft reboot?" you asked, concern heavy in your tone.

"N-no," the android replied quietly. "Was just..." he trailed off. "Really good."

You exhaled a heavy sigh of relief. "You worried me."

Slowly, carefully, you lifted off of him. The skin on Connor's hands returned, holding you to try to help. Your legs were sore; but, it was worth the hunger satiated in your core.

"What was it you were trying to say earlier?" you asked softly, taking a seat beside him to catch your breath.

Connor was watching you carefully, likely to make sure you were okay. His brow furrowed slightly at your question and he shifted his eyes nervously away from you.

"I wanted to... to say something that you would like," he offered.

"You mean, dirty talk?" you replied softly, voice dripping with interest.

"Yes," he confessed quietly.

"You did that last time, too," you commented, rising to your feet. Connor watched you curiously, waiting for an explanation. "You said there were things you wanted to do me, and when I asked what those were, you didn't answer."

"I'm... afraid I will say something you won't like," he confessed quietly.

"Connor," you said his name breathlessly. "I doubt there's anything you would say that I wouldn't like. Do you wanna run one by me?"

Connor was leaning up, seated at the edge of the bed. You stepped in close to him and caressed his cheek with your hand. Connor leaned into the touch. You loved the way his skin felt, like he had just shaved yesterday morning, even though that was impossible.

His eyes flickered up to yours, uncertainty in them.

"That... you're mine," he uttered quietly, so quietly that you almost didn't hear him. "It feels wrong."

"It can be," you said, honest, sincere. "But, I don't think you mean it that way. You don't ever try to control me or tell me what to do. You're protective and sometimes that can feel possessive and that isn't always a bad thing. You always know what's right and what's wrong, Connor."

"I don't think I always know what's right," he retorted gently. "I don't want to control you." He sounded almost pained by the mere thought of it. "But, sometimes, I feel like..."

"It's new and can be a little scary; but, I trust you, no matter what..."

Connor pressed a kiss against your palm before gently removing your hand from his face. "I don't want to hurt you..."

You rolled your eyes gently, fondly. "You said that last time, too." He was still holding your hand; so, you gently squeezed back. "You care so much about what I want," you breathed. "I know that you would stop if I asked you to. I want you to feel comfortable with me - that you can be yourself..."

Connor's eyes shot up to your face. "I do," he proclaimed, sounding almost insulted at the suggestion. "I just - I-... I don't want to lose control."

You returned beside him on the bed.

"-of myself," he added on.

"Connor," you began fiercely. He seemed a bit surprised by your tone change. "We all feel that way sometimes: afraid we'll lose ourselves. I'm not telling you to not be afraid, just that-... -that-... -that you aren't alone."

His LED shined yellow for a moment, eyes focused on yours as he pondered over your words. His LED shifted back to blue and his shoulders relaxed. The android leaned in and nuzzled his nose against your cheek. You smiled at the intrusion.

"Connor?" you whispered, questioning, hopeful.

"Thank you," he murmured against your skin.

“Are you okay?” you asked, leaning back to look into his eyes.

“I feel better,” he uttered.

You nodded, maintaining his gaze for a few seconds longer, hoping that he would tell you if something was wrong. He seemed more relaxed now, brown eyes warm and inviting. To further prove his point, Connor stole a quick kiss from your lips, then another, and one last one.

You pulled back with a smile and rose to your feet. "I better get to bed... You-... you can-... -whatever you'd like." You wanted to ask him to stay, but wanted him to make that decision without your interference.

"I'd like to stay?" he asked sincerely. “I’ll have to leave before you get up...”

You nodded with a smile and retreated into the bathroom to clean up and brush your teeth. When you returned, Connor was already tucked into the sheets, like he belonged there. You turned the lights off before joining him.

"Do you have a band you want to see?" you uttered tiredly into your pillow.

"Not in particular," he answered quietly, shuffling in close to nuzzle up against your back. His bare legs tangled with yours, having ditched the lounge pants. You smiled against your pillow, thinking that maybe there was no point in suggesting clothes since you had a track record of ending up this way.

"My favorite band is Starset if you want to try them out?" you offered, pausing halfway to yawn.

Connor nodded into the flesh of your shoulder. He waited patiently until your breathing pattern shifted, telling him that you were asleep.

He searched the internet for that band and immediately recognized one of the members as an android. He wondered if it was a coincidence that you enjoyed music made by an android. Or, maybe, all things considered, that made perfect sense.

The first song that came up was titled 'Starlight'. He listened to it in its entirety and found the lyrics left a strange hole in his chest.

♪ ♫ “So say the word and I'll be running back to find you...

A thousand armies won't stop me - I'll break through...

I'll soar the endless skies for only one sight...

Of your starlight...” ♫ ♪

[moonyslove78]

🤯!MIND-FUCKIN'-BLOWN!🤯

Okay, so first of all, @liz-allyn... I know we've all already discussed this and in a very humorous way. 😂 But I still just wanna put this out there. No matter what anyone says, this is your story. However you want to write it, whatever you want to happen and certainly, whatever you decide to name you character(s), is ultimately your choice. You're the author of this amazing, captivating, utterly imaginative and (as I know I've said a 1000 times before) all around extremely well-written AU series. I hope everyone is respectful enough to think about that before trying to tell you how/what to write when it comes to your hard work that you've poured your heart into for our enjoyment. Know that we love you and the work you've done to bring this series to us! ❤️

Now that that's said...

🥵!! MAJORLY SMUTTY SPOILERS UNDER CUT !!😍

I was legitimately screaming at my screen "Oh, no. Honey!! That wasn't murder! That was self-defense and logically justifiable!" Also, why did I slightly snicker at that, oh, soooo Peter-like statement when he was on the phone with Cat. 😅

This is such a moment. He just wants to take care of her and that's all. When he was the one that plummeted into the ground from the top of a clocktower, went through an all out war, in the process lost a lot, then came back home to battle four assholes, one in which decided it was best to shoot him in the shoulder before raging an all out war between the two of them using a Symbiote to present a disadvantage for Peter (& ultimately, Honey as well). But he isn't worried about any of that... cause he just wants to take care of his Honey. 🥺😭

This is about the time I started thinking... "Oh. So there's about to be some shower sex?" 😶‍🌫️🚿

I absolutely adore stumbling-nervous-stuttering-slightly uneasy-Peter Parker. It's the sweetest thing I've ever seen. 😍🥰

When I say I gasped! 😯 It was like a shock to the system... a fucking good shock! 😅 Like, I knew she had it in her, but she really went for it on the dirty talk! And I was here for it alllllll!

🤯🤯🤯

Words cannot describe what I was feeling in this moment. I have soooo many thoughts and they're all incredibly impure. 😏

The "C'mere--" did it for me, Liz! I died and am writing from beyond the grave...💀🪦

I'm sorry, whaaa--🥵🔥 I couldn't breathe for a minute! Fucking, Princess?! 😍😫

Now this was where I did get a bit teary eyed... because, even in the midst of this extremely hot erotic scene, let us take a notice to how fucking far Honey has come. Peter, too, obviously. But especially Honey. Like we always guessed (knew) that she would fall for that man. We could see the love there for him before she could. But it felt like they'd never get to the point where she'd see him and have this go on in her head. And for her to admit it, even if it was just to herself in that moment, was such a huge deal. I just loved this realization process so damn much.

Ugh!! The amount of devotion in those words is so immense. She already saved their lives. And now she's ready to give him the world. And since she is his world, it works out so fucking beautifully! 🥰

God damn, this killed me harder than the first one! 🥴😳 She is his. Just as well as he is hers. And fuck if it didn't sound hot as hell coming from Peter. Especially when he gives noo-fucks about how possessive he sounds. 🥵❤️

WELP! I wasn't quite sure it was possible, but now I'm 100% positive! Cause that absolutely did it! 🤰🏻😮‍💨 Nothing is hotter than Peter & Honey's kinks... and now that we know they both for sure share the "Daddy" & breeding kinks... I'm telling you I fucking screamed! 👀😱

And then you go and do this to my heart? 😫🥰 The fact that she ASKED him to ask her again... ugh!! My brain was already mush and I was in a puddle on the floor, but now my heart has fallen down there too. And the fact that she told him to "wait until she knows she's become the person he'd want to ask" hit me hard right in the feels. Because I, for one, think she's already there. That even had she not said this, he may have been a little uneasy about how she would react, but he'd have been thinking about doing so anyway.

His sincere and heart-felt promise that he'd wait for her to be ready, no matter how long it takes her was another moment that screamed Peter Parker. We all know he'll wait forever for his girl. As long as he can have her with him, by his side and in his heart, he's happy. I did love the slight jab that he'd even wait "till he was back in diapers". I am a stickler for their light playfulness when they both can't help but smile or giggle at something the other says or does. It's those little happy fluffy moments I LIVE for with these two. (And now of course, it's gonna be their hot smutty ones, too, but you can't make me choose, Liz! Look what you've created! 👀😂❤️‍🔥)

But that ending though! It was so fucking beautifully put in those 7 words. The explanation of their love for each other, his renewed even further, yet again. Because above all else, this man adores her with all of his heart and soul. Despite, and as a result of, all that they've been through together. Hers being strengthened by the same. And now that everything is open and out there, no feelings to hide or secrets to bare. The anger, hurt, fear and guilt no longer weighing their hearts down. They're finally where they need to be for each other. ❤️ Well damn it, now I'm crying again! 😭

I cannot tell you exactly how much I loved this chapter, because there are no real words that could describe it. It's something I, and I'm quite positive everyone else, were waiting patiently for. And when I tell you, it was completely worth the wait. The slowest slow burn makes getting to this point so much more amazing and rewarding. I am so anxious and excited to see what these final two chapters are going to be, but I do know whatever you have planned is going to be absolute and utter perfection!

I hope they bring Bella home, because I so wanna see Peter being doting Uncle Peter with Aunt Honey by his side. (Though a baby Parker would be ideal 👀👩🏻‍🍼👨🏻‍🍼) I can't tell you how many times I've imagined Peter coaching Honey through labor and then bawling his eyes out when their miracle enters the world, where he proceeds to very carefully and lovingly coddle them. 😭😮‍💨❤️ Okay, fuck... I can't take anymore right now.

I'm going to go back and enjoy this chapter multiple times, like I have with every other chapter release. I will be so sad when it ends but you know that this series has brought me through some really tough moments in the last few months (as well as you yourself), so with it nearing a close I just want to thank you again and again. You've created such a character that resonates with so many and that we can all relate to in some form or another. And the transformations that almost all the characters experienced was phenomenal.

I can safely say I have never and probably will never find a series quite like this one, that has burrowed it's way so deep into my heart. And it's your brilliant mind that created it!

I love you @liz-allyn!!❤️😁🥰

sugar and vice, pt. 21 [mob!tasm!peter x fem!oc]

summary: still don't know my name.

words: 5 k

chapter warning: blood and smut. a lot of it. in detail.

series warnings: mob-typical bang bang violence, hurt/comfort. Spicy situations. spousal abuse. family trauma. PTSD, psychotic breaks/episodes, drug use. coercion. manipulation. kidnapping. gore. blood. possessive!peter, protective!peter. toxic/yandere!peter (maybe, sorta), negative self talk, shameless forced proximity trope. ‘only ten one bed oops’ trope, imprisonment. slowest burn. a dash of questionable and/or morally grey intentions. extremely toxic relationships.

This version of TASM Peter is not canon. The relationships and characters here are not healthy.

Don't date a mob boss.™️

18+ You’re responsible for your own media consumption, but if you

don't know the connection between cartoons and Saturday mornings

don't remember a time when phones didn't have touchscreens

never had to listen to the CRINK CRINK CRINK of winding up a camera to take a picture

= if one or more of these elements apply to you, you may be entitled to compensation, which you should come back for when you're 18.

Back to Part 20.

A/N Might be a good time to throw on the official Sugar and Vice Spotify playlist...

Part 21

“You still with me?” Peter asked so softly it could be a croon. 

The sound startled her. Her body went rigid from where she sat on the bathroom floor. She pushed her back against the ebony-stained vanity, her legs tucked under the blanket of her arms. The whole moment felt eerie, overwhelmed with a sense of deja vu in the sanctuary of Peter’s bathroom. Exquisite black marble, gold fixtures, and ivory subway tile surrounded her; by contrast, her blood-splattered appearance was ghastly.

At least she wasn’t the only one. 

She didn’t know how much time had passed since she murdered John. All she knew was that his blood had gone cold and tacky on her skin. Peter had called for Felicia to back them up immediately, warning her “if I see anyone else’s face but yours, I’m puttin’ a bullet in it.” 

Ironically, he said this with the phone pressed against one shoulder while he ripped a sleeve from his suit jacket to use as a bandage around his bullet wound. Despite his injuries, he carried her in his arms from the carnage, instructing her to keep her cloudy eyes on his face until they were secure.

As soon as they crossed the threshold of his bedroom, Peter reached for a hidden panel on the wall near the frame. She heard the whirring of an electronic device and the pressurized hiss of something moving within the wall. Seconds later, the doorway was sealed with a steel door, locked down tighter than a bank vault.

He brought her to the bathroom, gingerly placing her down before ripping open a drawer, vigilantly loading another weapon hidden inside. He kept it close, peeking briefly beneath the makeshift bandage on his arm. His white dress shirt was torn, splattered with merlot hues. 

She kept her eyes forward, breathing steadily through her nose. 

The next few minutes were filled with pacing, fidgeting, and clenched fists. He muttered useless words, mostly reassurances that she knew he couldn’t promise and apologies he didn’t need to make. After confirmation from Felicia via an intercom system that the Penthouse was secure, Peter finally began to relax.

Honey still wondered if anything was real. Maybe her entire existence was a crazy, fever-dream. A dark fairytale filled with heroes and monsters. Kings. And Demons. And Robots. And Prince Charming. 

“It’s okay,” Peter gently reminded her as he kneeled before her. Hearing his voice pulled her back to the present. Slowly, he brought his hands up to the sides of her face. Her eyes fluttered closed when she felt the rough pads of his thumbs brushing away her tears. 

That dizzy feeling hit her again, and she tried to swallow it down. When her eyes opened, she saw her friend staring back at her, the shadow of a smile adorning his face. Tears budded in the corners of his whiskey eyes. Chocolate, oranges, and the golden hue of an Old Fashioned.

She leaned her cheek into his palm, nuzzling it as she gazed up at him anxiously. 

“Need ya to trust me, okay?” he cooed as if their minds were synced. “Is it okay if I help you get cleaned up?” Innocently, his eyes traveled down her neck to her shoulders and the carnage beneath them. He took in the sight of her, chewing his bottom lip. “Just... just wanna take care of you, alright? Nothin’ else.”

He waited. She nodded.

“Okay, jus’-just take my hands, and I’m gonna help you stand up, okay?” He turned over his palms and waited for her to them. She did.

He came to a gentle stand, pulling her up with him. “Are you hurt anywhere? Are you in pain?”

She paused. Shook her head. 

“Good, good, good,” he breathed in relief. He placed a hand on her lower back, keeping her other hand tight within his, and took a step forward with her. Gently, he guided her across the bathroom up to the glass of the enormous, obsidian walk-in shower that took up half of the room. 

He stepped inside and twisted the golden knobs on the wall. A wide column of rain showered from the ceiling, clouds of steam forming around it.

She stood with arms wrapped around her soiled camisole top, which clung uncomfortably to her skin. Quietly, she observed him as he fussed with the shower handles, dipping his hand in the stream, before diligently adjusting the temperature until it was perfect. 

His movements were somewhat frantic, as if he were completing a checklist. The next move was to unbutton his destroyed shirt and tenderly peel it off his shoulders, letting it fall to the floor. His belt was next as he undid the trousers and stepped out of them. 

“Peter.”

Her voice was silent as falling snow, but he snapped his head in her direction, eyes wide at attention. “Yeah? What’s wrong? Do... d’you not... I... I can-I can turn around, or-or leave, if-if you want... I-I-I’ll do whatever you want.”

She fixed him with eyes that were almost surreal. They glistened something meek and melancholic in their depths. At the same time, there was a sense of uneasy awe, her fascination fueling a frightening notion. Whatever her mind was thinking of, she was both timid of it as much as she was tempted by it.

And it terrified him. “Jus’... jus’ tell me what you need. Whatever you want.” He gazed at her worriedly, afraid that she was drifting into the darkness away from him. He took her hand firmly in his own, worried she might be lost in the galaxy.

It took centuries to find her voice. “I... I want... I want to know...” she fumbled clumsily, her lips parted as she gazed at his. “I want you to tell me that I’m good.”

Peter’s breath hitched as something sharp twisted in his chest. He pursed his lips together, eyes filled with sadness. “Oh, Honey...” he breathed out. Unshed tears gathered at his lower lashes as he gazed upon her with a tragic heart. Carefully, he inched closer to her.

She watched him struggle to find his words, and when he did there was a tremor in his voice. “Honey,” he slowly repeated, bringing his hands up to embrace her cheeks. “What happened back there...” He winced as his throat bobbed. “Wh-what you just did... was… it was necessary.”

He bit down on his lower lip to keep it still. It occurred to her that he was having flashbacks. He was remembering a pair of green eyes that fixed him with a similar brokenhearted gaze.

“You saved our lives,” he breathed with resolve. “You saved my life.” Peter caressed her cheek, staring down at her like a goddess. Each touch was a gospel of gratitude. “You were strong and smart, and so... so incredibly brave.” He lamented with an aching heart, “Don’t ever forget that. You did the right thing.”

“Peter—” 

“Of course, Honey. Of course, you’re good—”

“Peter, stop.”

He held his breath, blinking curiously. 

“That’s not what I meant,” she softly replied. He watched the way her eyes trailed from his, back down to his mouth. She inched closer to him, breathing through parted lips, stopping only when she could feel the heat radiating off of his chest. Peter barely registered the labored breathing clawing from both their chests.

Her eyes were dark. And they were ablaze. Darkness and light. Fire roared inside them. Curiously, Peter observed how she burned and fixed him with a look that could incinerate him where he stood.

He suddenly gasped at the most gentle of sensations, shuddering like his whole body had been electrified. Her delicate fingers brushed over the cotton of his trunks, cupping his bulge. Mouth agape, he turned to putty. Clay for her to mold however she saw fit.

Entranced, she watched his reaction, hunger written on her features. “You said I can have anything I want,” she said in a devious tone. “I wanna ride you, Peter.”

His breath hitched as he felt her tiny hands pull back the elastic of his trunks and sneak inside. He gaped at the feeling of her warm fingers stroking the delicate skin of his shaft. 

She chanted dangerously, her desire drawing the sounds from her belly, “I want to feel you... all of you...”

Peter trembled as her hand tightened, glancing down for a brief second. If he lingered on the sight of her hand jutting out of his briefs for too long, he was afraid he’d pass out and die.

“I want your cock...” she cooed with a filthy tone, sliding down her hand from base to head. Her fingertips brushed across the tip, smearing the silky wetness leaking out. His erection had come to life in record time, straining against his trunks. “I want it buried in me so deep,” she breathed, “that I can feel you in my belly.”

Peter groaned as she rubbed her palm over his head, lubricating his shaft with his precum as she drove it back down the sides. His lashes fluttered shut, face twisted in torture.

“I wanna feel you inside days after,” she declared, her voice heavy and erotic. She slid her hand up and brought it back down again, with a slow twist of her wrist as she approached the head. He grunted at the sensation, hunger building up as his abs tightened and twitched.

“I want you to fill me. Everywhere.”

He flicked his eyes open, gazing down at her through heavy lids and a slightly lifted chin. He dragged each exhale out from his core, the heat of his lungs rivaling the steam of the shower.

“With your body. With your cum.”

The filth of her words shocked his cock to attention, mesmerized by her sudden dominance. He brought his hand to rest on her lower back, pulling her closer. Part of the reasoning was self-interest, allowing her a better angle to pump his dick, her languid pace increasing with each jerk. The other reason was to steady himself, keeping his knees from buckling and reassuring himself that he wasn’t dreaming.

“I want you to make me take it all,” she groaned lustfully, sending another jolt down his shaft. She tightened her grip as she pumped up and down. The intensity of her words increased with her speed. “All night... Every night... For the rest of my life.”

Peter gasped at the thought, choking back a moan. His forehead briefly dipped to rest on hers before he straightened himself and poured his lustful gaze into her wanton eyes.

“No shame. No guilt. I want you to fuck me like I can’t get enough,” she breathed hotly. A mix of fluids lubricated his cock. She melted as noticed his hips meeting her palm with tiny uncontrollable thrusts.

“‘Til I’m weak... ‘Til I beg you to stop because I couldn’t possibly come anymore.”

Dizzy with desire, he glanced down at the lewd sight, mouth falling agape at the depravity. Blood from their bodies had crept down her wrist, coating her hand. His thick erection was tinted with blood, both from the inside and coating the outside. 

His voice strained and shattered beneath an irrepressable moan. Even if she stopped speaking at that moment, he was sure he’d explode from the debauched sight alone.

“After that, I want you to hold me close,” she muttered, heartwrenching need infiltrating the throaty sound of her chants. “And I want you to tell me I’m a good girl.” 

Longingly, he found her eyes and was trapped there, a loyal subject strapped down and helpless to her ministrations. Clenching his canines, he fixed her with a hungry expression that promised all she asked and more. Her whole body shuddered at that look. She dripped with desire, achingly wet, as she felt his fingertips dig trails behind her back. 

“And then I want you to hold me down and fuck me all over again.”

Peter snapped, letting out a deep groan that reverberated in his chest, snatching her lips up in his. She moaned at the burn of his beard on her lips, shuddering as his tongue glided over hers. His grip crushed her chest to his. He pulled back a moment, panting. Her lips tasted like tears and blood and all he wanted was to eat her alive.

“Fuck,” he muttered breathlessly, gazing at her with eyes that begged his body to let them fuck her first. “C’mere—”

He scooped her into his grasp, pulling her into the shower stream. His hands were tantric, everywhere at once. She released his erection, instead wrapping her arms around the back of his neck. 

His tongue pried her lips open. Once inside, it dominated hers, pushing back her head until a whimper stirred in her throat. She trembled and gasped as his free hand reached up beneath the camisole’s front, sliding beneath the sticky fabric to knead her breast.

Her mouth fell open, a helpless sigh breezing over the roar of the shower. Hot water poured over them, but it felt cold on their bodies and did little to put out the flame within. She mewled at the feeling of his rough fingertips teasing her nipple and his tongue forcing her mouth open further. Peter tipped her back into an arc, his slippery arms somehow locking her in place as his lips set fire to her neck.

He kissed away the stains of the past while she desperately tried to rid herself of her joggers, all while simultaneously grinding her core on his thigh. As soon as he sensed what she wanted, he pulled back to remove the camisole. It tore apart like tissue paper in his grip, exposing her cranberry-stained chest to him.

He peeled it off her arms, then hooked his fingers in her waistband, shoving it down to her ankles. She returned the action with hungry eyes and greedy hands, yanking his trunks down to land the pooling crimson on the shower floor. Her mouth fell open at the sight of his erection bobbing free.

The drain ran red, as did their lust. In moments they were both bare skinned, with nothing but red rivers and rain droplets between them. Hurriedly, she reached for his cock again, returning to the pace she’d set earlier. 

After a couple of quick pumps, Peter snatched up her hands, denying her control. He pushed her back against the tiled wall, pinning her wrists above her head. 

“Gah—yea-yes!” she heaved desperately with a moan. His hands shackled her wrists to the wall, while his lips attacked the junction of her shoulder and neck. He sucked tiny, raspberry-colored welts alongside the rusty art pieces that hung on her skin, using his tongue to redecorate her body.

“So fuckin’ good,” he muttered like a man possessed, bending his neck to get a better angle. “So fuckin’ sexy...”

Honey squeaked as his mouth surrounded her nipple, his teeth and beard scraping gently. She gazed down at the lewd image of him suckling on her breast with bloody lips. She winced, her cunt shamefully clenching at the sight. He playfully nipped at the flesh beneath her nipple before returning his lips to her jawline. 

“Aah, aghh, Peter, please!” she gasped.

“Please, what, baby? You wan’me to stop?”

“No, don’stop don’stop—”

“Gotta use your words, baby girl—”

“I need you inside me!” she cried out. “Please...!” 

“Please?”

“Please, Peter, fuck me! I need—”

“Ah-ah-ah,” he tutted in a tone that was almost cruel. “I know what you need.”

He then lowered one of his hands, dragging it slowly down her cheek, then her throat, applying extra pressure over her voice box, and further down her breast to the round of her belly. Driving further, he pivoted his wrist, caressing her folds with the delectable calluses on his fingers. 

“Gotta get you ready for me…” 

Her breath hitched as he wasted no time sliding his middle finger into her core. She preened beneath him, perched on her toes with her arms pinned above her head, panting with every swirl of his digit. 

“Fuuuck, you’re so wet.” 

He intently observed each micro-movement of her enraptured expression. It was a mouth-watering display, his cherry lips falling open at the sight. Thunder rumbled deep in his chest.

“Ya like that?” His hot breath tickled the shell of her ear.

She mewled, desperately nodding her head. 

“Ya want more?”

“pleasepleasepleaseyes—”

His ring finger joined the first, languidly—teasingly penetrating her core. “Oooh, there ya go…that’s it… spread your legs...”

She brought up one thigh, planting her heel against the wall. Her pelvic bone bucked as she opened up her hips obediently, allowing his palm more access to smooth over her clit. Her desire turned feral as she ground her pussy into his hand. Licking his lips, he gawked lasciviously as his fingertips touched places in her she didn’t know existed.

“Such a good girl,” he cooed insatiably over her obscene cries.

He tightened the tendons in his arm, speeding up the pace at which he rubbed her clit. Her heart hammered in her chest and in his ears like a drum. Her lashes fluttered, gazing longingly into his desire.

“That’s it, ’s’okay, princess. Use me. Grind that pretty pussy against my hand. Gonna feel so good.”

She looked so pure in her ecstasy, and so depraved in the impurity of it all. It made him weak. Obsessed, he followed the current of hot water and blood cresting over her curves, joining the juices on his fingers. 

“God, you make me so hard… ya don’even—ugh— C’mon, almost there, baby. Doin’ so good...”

With a choked mewl, she gushed around his fingers. He groaned as he felt her core twitch and flutter. He touched her through her high, as long as he possibly could wait, impatiently releasing her wrists and lowering to his knees as she came down. He dragged his mouth across her body, pressing open-mouth kisses to her skin. 

It was only when she neared the twilight of her climax that she noticed him kneeling in front of her thighs. She mewled warily, and he fixed her with a devilish smile.

“Now…lemme taste you, baby,” he whispered with a selfish, needy lilt in his voice.

Prying her thighs apart, he hooked one of them over his shoulder. She gasped, bracing herself carefully against the wall, squirming in his hold. With his tongue, he spread her open, greedily teasing as he licked into her entrance. 

“Y’taste so good...” 

Peter’s breathy voice pitched into a near whine as he ravished her with his tongue. It was an obscene sound that could coax an orgasm from her without ever touching her. Voraciously, he dragged his tongue from her entrance to her clit, kissing the bud tenderly. He teased it with kitten licks, making her tremble above him.

“I gotcha,” he whispered, noting her distress. “Don’t worry, I’ll give ya what’chu want, princess. Gonna spoil you.”

She whimpered as he devoured her. Her eyes swam looking down through the clouds of steam to his crown of soppy brown curls. She watched his eyes flutter shut, locked on her cunt like it was a prayer. He worshiped her honeysuckle lips, weak for the taste. She wondered if he was prone to addiction from the way he indulged himself. 

The intense memory of the first time he ate her out washed over her. The vision excited her and tightened the coil in her belly, drawing a needy groan from her mouth. His eyes shot open at the sound, peering up at her through the crimson-streaked valley between her breasts. 

When their eyes met, she felt more than an orgasm coming. A white-hot surge of energy was bursting from her core. It was a comforting sensation and an equally dangerous one. 

It was more than safety. It was power.

Not just the metaphorical ‘power’ in her relationship, or even ‘power’ over her own sexuality. She wielded both of those and more. It was a different kind of power, having been baptized in the fire roaring beneath Roosevelt Avenue, and now christened with the blood of her tormenter.

It was barbarically satisfying. She wondered if this is what Peter felt when she saw him at his most savage. In the train station. Inside the VIP lounge of Web. Bloody and gloriously brutal. Conquering his enemies. Defending what was his. 

She was his.

If he was Ruler of the Underworld, she was his Spring. 

She saved his life. 

That made him hers.

Her fate was hers. Her life was hers. 

And she knew exactly who she wanted to spend it with. 

“Peter…”

How she wanted to spend her time in this world.

If Heaven was the moment you want to live in for all eternity, and that moment was now within her grasp, did that make her a god?

“God, Peter, oh... yes—”

“Give it all to me, love. Be a good girl—”

Back arching off the wall, the blood in her body crashed towards her center in a tide of pleasure. He growled as she came in his mouth, his lips eagerly moaning around her folds. This time he didn’t stop, despite how painfully hard he was. Devotedly, he milked her pleasure, drawing it out in waves. 

“Gahhh—pleaseplease— s’too much—”

“You can take it, Honey. I know you can. You’re doin’ so well— so good for me. My sweet, good little girl...”

Possessed by a new fervor, she rode his lips again to another orgasm. He rewarded her, again and again with his mouth, until vertigo began to set in.

Through the haze, she heard him whisper, “We don’t have to keep going.” 

Peter’s voice was as gentle as a feather, a vast contrast from the gravelly, desperate tone he’d had while on his knees. 

Towering over her, he leaned his forearm against the wall above them while the other forearm wrapped around her pulsating torso. He clung her to his heart, drawing circles on her shoulder blade. Patiently, he waited for Honey to float back down to the Earth. Meanwhile, he relished in the warmth of her labored breaths across his skin.

“We can stop right now,” he muttered in secret.

Slowly, she leaned back to peer up at him beneath her wet lashes. “Do you wanna stop?”

He drowned himself in the depths of her eyes while he choked down his needs. “You don’t owe me anything. I don't wanna take what you’re not ready to give.”’

The longer she gazed at him, the dizzier she became. She felt intoxicated as if his eyes were indeed made of bourbon. “I’m ready,” she said. “M’ready to give you the world.”

His gaze softened. The sentiment sparkled in their amber hues, and his stomach took flight on the backs of butterflies. “You’re my world.”

She swayed in the wind of their colorful wings. “Lucky for you, then.”

Her smile lit up his life. Had he not been desperate to kiss her, it would’ve killed him to cover it up. He embraced the darkness, making sure it was worth it. Peter felt his heart bursting as he kissed her deeply, the intensity of which made them both lightheaded. 

They parted lips, and he gazed down at her with half-lidded eyes. “You sure?”

She touched her nose to his. “Yes, Peter. Please.”

A tremor racked through him, despite his eagerness. He pressed another kiss to her lips as he lined himself up to her core. Trembling, he was so hard that even the slightest brush made him ache. Desire dripping from his shaft, he pressed the head of his cock up against her entrance.

“You tell me,” he breathed, his eyes fixed on hers, “If you wanna stop. Just say the word... if it’s too much.”

Her fingers scaled the nape of his neck, brushing idly over an old scar. As she carded them into his hair, she scraped her nails through his scalp, drawing a hiss and triggering a jolt she could feel against her cunt.

“You, too,” she murmured, pushing her tongue past his ravaged lips. 

He breathed deep and slow, steadily applying pressure. The burn of their union was so intense, they both thought they’d melt. Peter groaned as Honey slid tightly over his head, his hands gripping the backs of her thighs to control her descent.

Gasping through an open mouth, she cried out as she neared the base. He stilled immediately, kissing away her budding tears. “So good, baby... So, so good...” The squeeze of her hips on his cock was a drug in itself. “So tight for me.”

He lapped up her pornographic moan, lowering her further down his shaft. A soft mewl echoed from his chest, as he muttered her pet name in exasperation. A moment later, he was fully seated inside of her, with her back pressed against the wall and her thighs in his grip. 

Slowly, he moved his hips.

Heaven. He was in Heaven. It was the only explanation that made sense. Peter gazed at the ecstasy unfolding in her enraptured face. His hungry eyes glanced down to steal a sinful glimpse where he impaled her. He thrust his hips adding a dizzying jolt of electricity. 

He was obsessed with the view, watching his cock slip in and out of her folds. 

This was a dream. 

It was better than a dream. 

They spoke an ancient language, made up of carnal sounds and heartwrenching sighs. With every roll of their hips, they wrote another line of their declaration together. Another verse of the vow they made to each other.

“God, you’re so perfect,” he breathed as his pace picked up. “Such an angel...”

“I’m-m’ not,” she muttered through gasps of air. It was hard to form a response when she could feel his reach all the way up in her brain. “I’m not innocent—”

“You’re mine,” Peter growled defiantly. “That’s all that matters. I know what I said. I don’t care if it’s wrong to say. Don’t care if it makes me sound possessive, or whatever... M’done pretending I don’t wan’it to be true. You’re mine, ya hear me? All of you. Your innocence. Your sweetness. Your sins.” 

With a gutteral groan he jerked his hips up, pulling a desperate, wet sigh from her mouth. 

“I want it all,” he said in a throaty whisper. “Wanna give you everything y’want. Anything.” 

His voice got weaker as his hips pivoted upwards to strike even deeper. He was completely in control of her hips, hooking his elbows beneath her knees and opening a new gateway to her soul.

“s s-s-so deep...”

“Ya like that?”

“Uh-huh...”

“You wan’me t’keep goin’?”

“Ye-yeah...”

“Wan’me to take you? Keep ya next to me forever? You’ll never want for anything again. Never be afraid again. Swear to god, no one else’ll touch you ever again—”

“Ugh, god... Peter... You’re so fucking hot—”

“M’gonna make love to you every night. Gonna make you scream for me.”

Her cries got louder, moans twisting up into a higher octave. Her pussy clenched around him with each of his words, drawing a hiss from him. She gripped his shoulders for balance as he fucked up into her, pinning her hips against the wall and bestowing her with pleasure.

“M’gonna fill you up,” he babbled, voice trembling. “Ga-gonna breed you, princess. Fill you with my cum, my babies... n’anything else you want. Just say it, an’it’s yours, Honey. Gonna make you a mommy, and you’re gonna make me a daddy.”

Her cunt quivered at the word, triggering a flood of sin washing over her body. “Fuck!”

“That’s it... my naughty girl. S’okay, good girls can be naughty sometimes—”

“Fuck, Peter, you’re gonna make me come.”

“God, if you clench around me right now, I’m gonna lose it. Gonna blow my load and pass the fuck out—”

“I wan’it.. Wan’it s-so bad.”

“S’at right?”

“Please, ah—egnh—god, please! Wanna be good for you. So good for you, daddy—”

Their words collapsed into meaningless cries and shattered sentences— godyesyesyes— comeonmycockbaby— as they worked each other towards a divine release. 

Honey pulled him deeper into her center, tightening around him as she felt a whip crack in her gut. Relishing in the flutter and spasming inside her core, his hips sputtered. He groaned as he released inside of her, filling her with his seed and his very soul.

Peter held her steady with wobbly legs, barely able to use his strength as the blinding lights cleared from his vision. He opened his eyes to look upon her blissed-out face, wondering how on Earth can someone make him stronger and weaker in the same moment.

Even as he conquered his darkness, she commanded the light in his heart. She was always his Queen, and he was a slave to the fruit of her hive.

“I want you to ask me, Peter,” she mumbled weakly. He was still seated inside of her.

“Ask you what?” He breathed heavily in her hold.

“I want you to ask me again. For my hand.”

He went still. Heart stopped. Breath turning to frost in his chest. 

Coyly, his honey-hued eyes saught hers with the timidness of a fawn. He was afraid to move. Afraid that a twig snap could chase this moment away. Unsure of what he’d heard and what day it was and what year it was and what he ever thought he was going to do with his life had he never walked in to that shop—

“But I don’t want you to ask me yet.” Her eyes shimmered and the sight made his heart swell. He curled a brow upwards as he considered her remark. 

“I want you to wait... just for a little while... until I know I’ve become the person you’d want to ask.” 

Heaven. Peter was certain of it now. No other explanation made sense. A smile curled his lips as he gazed at her longingly. His affection soared above the clouds.

“Could you do that for me?” she asked shyly.

He beamed. “Could I wait?” He couldn’t hold back the soft chuckle that spilled out. “Oh, Honey. I’ve been waiting forever for you. I’ll wait until the end of time.” He smirked, “Or... ‘til I’m back in diapers again, if ya want.”

She snorted gently, unable to contain her smile. He giggled at the sound, touching his forehead to hers, and falling in love with her all over again.

And finally, they were both made clean.

To be continued...

A/N thank you for the outpouring of love after the last chapter. a note on our 'Honey':

Her birth name was mentioned, but her name is Honey. In my head, she is an AFAB character with a Hispanic surname, but I've tried hard to avoid descriptions of hair color, skin color, eye color, body shape, or otherwise. In many ways, she's an OC, but she's written like a reader-insert character. I will continue to try to be as inclusive as possible with my writing, while acknowledging that I am limited (and inherently biased) by my narrow, personal experiences, and they don't reflect everyone else's experiences.

Do you feel like you resonate with Honey? Good! Continue to do so. You are Honey. And I love you.

And thanks for reading. 💜

please don't send me hate or discount this whole story over 2 words.

[wooyunhwa]

kingdom of welcome addiction | five

view pinned post for masterlist / links to the rest of the parts!

Genre: smut (with plot), angst

Pairing: demon!san x fem!reader / ???yunho x fem!reader 

Word Count: 5.2k

Warnings: overstimulation, finger sucking, multiple orgasms, use of toys

Synopsis: Torn between two opposing forces competing for your attention, who will you choose? Will San’s secrets finally come to light?

A/N: Finally some backstory! Strap in! Thank you for reading and comments are super appreciated as always! <3 love you all

“I’ve been assigned to protect her.”

“From what?” San asked, relaxing his hostile stance back a bit. 

Yunho glanced at you, then back at San, uneasiness coming through in his gaze. 

“From you.”

“From me?” San laughed mockingly.

“They’re not happy with you, San. Up there.” Yunho gestured vaguely upwards. Was heaven actually up? 

“Tell me something I didn’t know,” San muttered with a roll of his eyes.

“I’m not talking about that,” Yunho said seriously. “I’m talking about you saving her. They take fate pretty seriously.” 

“So what, you’re like the protector of fate now? Give me a break,” he sneered, voice tinged with mockery. With the way they bickered, you’d think they were some old divorced couple. 

“You guys are talking like I’m not in the room. Can someone explain to me what’s going on?”

Yunho’s hand rubbed against your leg. You weren’t sure exactly how to feel about his touch now, knowing he was a celestial being and not just a cute human boy, but it did feel nice. Comforting somehow, even in this situation.  “When San saved you, he altered your fate.”

“You’re saying I’m supposed to be dead?”

“Well, yes. While you should be dead, we angels don’t exactly endorse killing humans, even if it was their fate. But that’s why I was reassigned. Your original guardian… well, he couldn’t watch over you any more.”

You felt as cynical as San for a minute, rolling your eyes at Yunho’s implication. “Sounds like the original guardian wasn’t doing a very good job then, if he was gonna let me die.”

San laughed from his position, poised against the counter top casually. His fangs glistened as his mouth formed a familiar smirk. “That’s my girl.” 

Yunho was entirely unamused, but turned to face you fully, face lingering entirely too close. “Either way, I’m here to watch over you now. Make sure he—” He shot a poisonous glare at San. “—doesn’t alter fate again. You’re in big trouble, by the way.” 

San smiled sarcastically, eyes like daggers as they met with Yunho. “What are they gonna do, hmm? Banish me?” He wiggled his fingers mockingly. “Oh no, I’m soooo scared.”  

“Anyway,” he pulled his gaze back to you now, eyes sparkling like the stars as they met with yours. The way he looked at you, you’d think you were the only two in the universe. “If this impulsive idiot hadn’t ruined it—” He shot another deathly glare at San. “—I was going to watch over you from here. As your classmate. Angels aren’t typically permitted to get this close to their assignments, but you’re a special case. I was given a lot of flexibility.”

“Oh, give me a fucking break,” San sneered through his teeth. “Classmate, my ass. I saw how your hands were all over her.”

“Don’t you have some souls to eat somewhere? Virgins to sacrifice?” Yunho taunted in his direction. 

“Fuck. Actually, I do. I’m getting a call.” San turned on his heels. “Don’t think I’m letting this one go,” he said, but he was gone before you could even get a parting word out to him. 

Your mind felt like it had been reduced to a steaming pile of mush after your conversation with the two of them—well, more like you listening to them bicker. Either way, there was too much information to take in at once. In a matter of minutes, your cute human crush became your cute angel guardian. Well, you supposed he always was, but the fact that you knew it made it feel so much more strange. 

But a few things hadn’t changed. 

He still sparkled like the stars to you. You had already fallen for him hopelessly, the minute you saw him walking into your classroom, you knew that to be fact. Nothing about your attraction to him had changed. Whether or not his ethereal glow was because he was incredibly handsome or  because he was very literally an angel changed any of that fact for you. His touch still gave you goosebumps. His soft smile in your direction still made your heart race. He was still the embodiment of light, glowing like a beautiful aurora. He radiated the positivity you needed so desperately.

And you were alone with him.

“I’m sorry you had to find out like this,” he said, his hand still rested on your thigh. “About me being your guardian. I was hoping I could get to know you better first. Just as Yunho. I didn’t anticipate San showing up unannounced.”

You skipped right past his apology, needing answers. “So—Why? Why’d you kiss me? If I’m just your assignment?” you questioned angrily. But a part of you didn’t even want to ask him why. You just wanted to do it again. 

“It was genuine,” he promised. “It wasn’t planned. But it was genuine. We angels may not be human, but we have a bit more humanity than that demon. We have souls. They’re just not… bound by the human realm.”

You had absolutely no idea what he was talking about, but he looked beautiful saying it. You felt like you couldn’t possibly take in any more information than you already had without completely losing it. You winced suddenly, noticing your head beginning to ache. 

“Y/N, are you okay? W—Would you like me to leave?” Yunho asked softly, sensing the look on your face. It was odd to have him asking. San usually just left whenever he wanted to, disappearing into the ether without a trace. 

“Leave? Do you just... disappear out of thin air like San does?” you asked seriously. 

Yunho chuckled, his laugh like music to your soul. “No, no. I’d have to walk out the door. And take the bus.”

“What kind of angel takes the bus?” you jested, assuming he was joking. 

“It’s part of my assignment. I’m not exactly human, but I don’t have all my angel powers either. I was supposed to blend in as much as possible. So I play by the laws of the universe now,” he chuckled. “Speaking of, just because I’m an angel, doesn’t mean I’m not actually worried about passing that class.” 

You burst into laughter at the ridiculousness. He was an angel who had to take the bus and do homework? What a shitty deal. You were enjoying his company, and you didn’t want him gone just yet. “To answer your earlier question, you can stay. You’re supposed to be protecting me, right? I’d feel safe if you were around.”

He smiled warmly. You realized his hand was still on your thigh, and his face a lot closer than you remembered. He looked so soft and inviting, and you remembered the way he kissed you earlier. It was soul-warming, like a comfort food you ate as a child, something your mom would make for you. 

“I’d love to stay and protect you. And not just because it’s my job,” he said charmingly, eyes forming into two cute crescents on his face. He was absolutely glowing. 

No matter how you looked at it, he and San were magnets with opposing forces, and yet they both drew you in equally. 

You leaned into a kiss without thinking, your eyes trained only on his soft, inviting lips. You melted into them as you collided, immediately overwhelmed with the gentle way his lips met yours. He reciprocated against you, hands moving from your thighs to cupping softly on the small of your waist, pulling you against him. Everything he did was passionate, yet tender. He handled you like the most delicate glass, like you could break at any moment and he would be there to put the pieces back together. You pushed your body against him, sinking into the soft, thick fabric of his sweater. He felt like a cloud. 

He was San’s very literal antithesis. And something in you needed that right now more than anything. 

You pushed your tongue in his mouth, indicating you wanted to escalate things. You fisted your hands into his pillowy sweater, grasping at him to pull him in closer against you. He moaned against your mouth, and the sound sent tingles all the way down your spine. 

But he pulled away, leaving you grasping desperately at the fabric of his sweater.

“I can’t do this in good conscience,” he said, brows furrowed with concern. Wow, he really was San’s antithesis. 

“Is it breaking angel code to make out with your assignment?”

“Well, no. Technically, I’m free to do whatever I want as a human bound here for now. I just want to make sure you’re not doing something you regret. It’s all very fast.”

You sighed, breaking away from him, though you craved his lips even more now that the taste lingered on your tongue. The silence felt deafening—you wanted to hear more of Yunho’s angelic moans against your ear. Moments like this made you miss San’s impulsivity. You knew if he was here he’d be all over you. 

“Can we cuddle, at least?” you asked, gaze drifting up and down from his soft lips to his even softer sweater. He was like a marshmallow you wanted to sink down into. He was everything you needed right now. Pure comfort. 

He nodded softly, repositioning himself against the arm of the loveseat. He motioned between his legs, creating a nice wedge for you to cuddle up in. You curled up against him, your head sinking down softly in the pillowy sweater. He wrapped his arms around you protectively. You weren’t sure, but you thought you heard him singing to you as you drifted to sleep. 

You woke up to a note on the fridge, scribbled neatly and punctuated with hearts and smiley faces. He was so effortlessly pure. Even his handwriting was cute.

Morning class, can’t miss! Sorry. See you in Advanced Religion? 

You couldn’t help but chuckle to yourself. What a dork. He’d just revealed himself as an angel, and yet he was worried about missing class? To be honest, you really couldn’t afford to miss any classes either, but there were so many unanswered questions still swirling around in your head. You needed San.

After cleaning yourself up thoroughly, you decided to summon him in your room, something you hadn’t done for a while. 

“Early for you to be calling me.” You swiveled on your heels, your face immediately met with San’s chest. You stumbled back a few steps, but he caught your waist in his arms, pulling you in to him. “Nice to hear you calling, darling. I’d say you smell sweet, but you reek of angel.” He glanced around suspiciously. “Is he still here?”

“No, he left before I even woke up.”

San sighed, then trained his gaze on you, crimson eyes lighting up like a fire. “Good. You know, I’ve missed you, lamb.” He drew his finger across your chin, tipping you up to his eyes like he always did before he wanted something. “Care to play with me this morning?”

You didn’t feel like entertaining his games right now. “No, not really. I have a lot of questions I need to be answered.”

“You’re no fun,” he pouted sarcastically, before leaning back against the desk in your room. “Alright, let’s get this over with before I get called elsewhere.”

“Earlier, you came in without being called. I thought I had to call you for you to appear. In the alley, too. How?”

He sighed, rubbing his forehead with two fingers, reluctant to answer your questions. “I can do it, but it’s a risk. Like working without a contract. Goes against the demon rulebook, or whatever. But I was willing to break some rules when I saw that angelic asshole with his hands all over you,” he said, putting extra spiteful emphasis into referring to Yunho.  

“You guys… have history, I take it?”

“It’s a long story. I’d rather not get into it right now,” he responded dismissively. “Anything else?”

“Were you watching me?”

“I—only a little. Just enough to see you mouth-fucking with that angel bitch,” he sneered through his teeth.

Damn. Touchy subject. 

“Are you trying to say we’re exclusive or something? Because that most certainly wasn’t the impression I got from this relationship.”

San’s eyes narrowed, pushing himself off the desk to close the distance between you. He ran a fingernail down your neck, making sure to drag over every bite mark. “No. We’re not. But I feel... protective of you.”

“Well then don’t worry about Yunho. It’s his job to protect me.”

San rolled his eyes. “I wouldn’t say he’s exactly trustworthy,” he grumbled under his breath, then quickly focused back on your neck. “Ugh, darling, won’t you let me have a little fun? I’ve had a rough week.”

You pulled away, dropping your gaze. “I—I need to go. To school. I’m late.”

San clicked his tongue, looking at you with a look of displeasure. “You’re really no fun. You’re the one who called me here, lamb. No tears? No blood? Not even a taste of your lips?” 

“Bye, San. Don’t come back unless you’re called, understand? Or I’m done making contracts.” You met his eyes seriously. “Forever.”

Seeing Yunho at school was… strange, to say the least, after his big reveal to you. You had made a routine of getting there early just to watch him come through the door, and your new information about his job didn't change any of that. 

It seemed like the other girls in class caught on to getting there early too, seated expectantly for him to walk through the door, tall and model-esque. You'd even heard girls whispering about him in the halls—the new blue haired boy who every girl on campus wanted a piece of. They drew their heads up as he ascended the lecture hall stairs to make his usual seat next to you, like they were watching a celebrity. 

Inspiration struck. As he sat down next to you, you gave him a flirtatious wink, then pulled him in for a casual, but slightly drawn out kiss. You let your lips linger against his for a few seconds afterwards, eating up the jealous stares of your classmates. You wanted to mark him yours. After all, he was your guardian. 

He looked at you with wide eyes, and you took his hand, lacing his fingers in yours. “Go with it,” you whispered discreetly in his direction. 

He gave your hand a light squeeze, leaning back in to give you a soft peck on the cheek to seal the deal. 

And just like that, he played the role of your college boyfriend. But it was just a role. Acting. In a sick way, you loved the jealous, spiteful stares you got as you walked down the hall with him. And he was able to keep a closer eye on you without being hunted down by every girl on campus trying to flirt with him. It was a mutual agreement. 

You were still entirely enamored by him, you crush in full bloom. Playing the role of his girlfriend was satisfying, but not in the way you needed it to be. He was sweet, but distant—you assumed he was trying his best to stay objective, to not get too wrapped up in his assignment. But you wanted so much more.

He sometimes came over to your place to study, and you rarely even mentioned his angelic presence. He requested that you treat him normally, like any other human, although that was pretty much asking the impossible. He certainly wasn’t, and would never be, like any other human. 

He still glowed like an aurora and sparkled like the stars. You wanted to cuddle up into him and never let go. You wanted to spend your days nestled in his arms. A few times, you did, falling asleep curled up on his chest on the couch like you had the first day he came over. 

But you couldn't help but want more.

Your lonely nights had made you needy. 

Yunho wasn't quite ready to go there with you yet, as he very clearly defined when you came onto him the first night he came over, and you'd been avoiding San like the plague. Not that it was hard—all you needed to do was not summon him. And you hadn't, for a while actually. 

But your hand wasn't doing it for you today. You needed more. You needed San.

You were partly joking about him being your demon prostitute, but he kind of was now that you were calling him exclusively to get you off.  Not that you were complaining about that. You were trying to distance yourself from him emotionally, but that didn't mean you couldn't have him help you with your physical needs. 

You put on your best set of lingerie, a black lacy set you weren’t really even sure why you had, and displayed yourself sexily on the bed. Not that you needed lingerie to entice San, but you figured it couldn’t hurt. 

He appeared with a low growl, eyes immediately glazing over with lust. “What’s this darling? Finally want to have a little fun?”

“I want a contract, San. I don’t care what you do for me—clean my kitchen, make me dinner, I don’t care—but your reward is my body. Take it or leave it.”

“Very forward of you today,” he said with an amused smirk. “I like it.”

“Your answer?”

“Fine, I accept. But I have a condition.”

He wasn’t in much of a position to give conditions, but you nodded, urging him to continue. 

“You’ve left me waiting for so long. I want to have a little fun with my prey first, hmm? That vibrator in there.” He gestured his head to your nightstand, the top drawer where you kept your pink silicone vibrator. It was small, compact, and admittedly expensive. It also came with a fully customizable bluetooth remote.  “It’s remote, right?”.

“It’s remote capable, yeah.”

His lips pulled into a sinister smile, eyes darkening, and you realized what was happening.

“I want to watch you squirm. I love watching you. My helpless little lamb," he cooed, stepping over to your nightstand to pull it out.

“Wait, but how did you know that was—”

“I may or may not have done some snooping in your room while you were asleep the other night.” He flashed you his fangs, eyes glimmering playfully. “You should know not to trust a demon, darling.” He twirled the vibrator between his fingers, glancing from it to you, still laying in wait on the bed. “Did you put on that pretty number just for me? You look… delicious in it.” He drew his tongue over his teeth, then took a seat on the edge of the bed. 

His hand traced over your skin, from your neck down to your breasts, stomach, hips, then between your legs, circling your clit through your panties. You had missed his touch desperately, although if you were being honest, it wasn’t his you necessarily missed. You missed intimate touch at all. 

He leaned forward to plant a kiss, surprisingly gentle, swiping his tongue over your bottom lip. “Tonight’s about you, my lamb. But that doesn’t mean I’m not going to have my fun.”

You were already wet before he got here, hopelessly horny and waiting for his arrival. You were now even more so. The lace of your panties was completely soaked as he danced his fingers across it. He pulled the seam of the lingerie to the side, just enough to slip the vibrator inside of you. His other hand held the remote. His eyes were fixed on you, power erupting beneath his crimson irises. 

He had you literally in the palm of his hand. The smallest touch on the remote, and he was completely in control. He did not take that power lightly. He turned it on, the light buzz immediately sending vibrations through you like waves. Your mind soared in pleasure, whimpers escaping from your lips.

“That’s cute. That’s just the low setting, darling,” he cooed, pressing the lace of your panties back between your legs. He pressed a hand on your stomach, feeling the way your core trembled under his touch. “To your feet,” he commanded suddenly. “C’mon.”

You wobbled up off the bed, and he cranked up the intensity to the highest setting the second your feet met the floor. Your legs buckled underneath you, and a smirk passed over his lips as he watched you, weak like putty in his hands. 

He pushed you to your knees beneath him, standing tall as his hooded gaze fell on you from above, dark and lust. He praised you sweetly as his hand gripped in your hair, tightening his grip as he toyed with the buttons on the vibrator. You trembled as the vibrations rocked through you. Every so often he would stop the sensations completely, stopping to pet your head softly and sing you praises, only to push up the intensity to full and grip his fingers tighter in your hair. Your head spun with neediness, practically dripping around the vibrator sunk deep inside you. 

He lifted your chin with his fingertip, tilting your head up almost 90 degrees. You whined as the vibrations teased you torturously, it had felt like hours he was watching you, a satisfied smile curled on his lips as he watched you writhe and shake at the mercy of his fingertips. Your whining grew louder, orgasm firing through you so intensity you could barely keep yourself upright. Only the tugging of his hands in your hair kept you up on your knees. 

"That's a good, good girl. So pretty when you’re shaking," he praised sweetly. 

He brought his hand to your mouth, parting your lips slightly by tugging down on your teeth, then shoved two fingers in. You sucked them enthusiastically, eating up the noises that escaped him at watching you gag on his fingers. He shoved them in farther, and you gagged a bit. Right on cue, he pushed up the intensity of the vibrations. You shook and moaned against his fingers as the vibrations rocked through you again, and this time you were much more sensitive. He watched the look on your face twist as he switched the pace from fast to slow, thrusting his fingers in every so often to hear your gagged breaths. 

“Such a dirty girl, getting off choking on my fingers. Embarrassing, really. But cute,” he cooed, shoving his fingers in your mouth one last time as he cranked up the intensity on the remote, then pulling them out with a trail of saliva. 

He sent you over the edge again. And again. Your knees started to burn lightly against the carpet as he toyed with you over, and over, and over. You weren’t sure how many times you’d come. You lost count at some point. Drool pooled at the corner of your mouth, body sore from writhing and shaking, every muscle contracting again and again. “Good, good girl,” he praised again, stroking your hair softly. “Tired, lamb? I may have gone a little overboard. I couldn’t help it. You’re just so cute when you’re helpless under me.”

You breathed heavily, unable to make words. Your brain was pleasured mush, entirely blissed from the at least five orgasms you had. “Tired…” you muttered, glancing up at him through heavy eyes. 

“I know. You did good.” He raised you up, supporting you by the waist as you stumbled weakly to your feet. Your legs were jello, and you weren’t sure if you could even make it to bed. San seemed to know that too, as he lifted you effortlessly, placing you on your bed gingerly. He helped you remove the vibrator, your body trembling as it slipped out. He even offered a change of clothes and helped you slip into them. Why was he being so nice? 

Your eyes were heavy, body completely wrecked from the orgasms. You didn’t remember much after that. The whole world went black at some point.

When you woke up, there was a note on your nightstand:

I cleaned the apartment for you. Consider the contract complete. xoxo demon maid 

Studying with Yunho became a nightly habit, replacing your bedroom rendezvous with San. That wasn’t to say you didn’t summon him sometimes to fulfill... certain needs, but that was beside the point. 

You were caught between the two of them them, both pulling you in opposite directions, both fulfilling different needs for you. You felt guilty, flirting with Yunho in the daytime and summoning San at night to sate your desires. But there was something in you that still wasn’t ready to let San go. 

He’d been on your mind recently, San. Despite all the cards being out on the table, he was still particularly vague about one thing: his history with Yunho. 

"Yunho I—I need to ask you something."

He turned his eyes to you, and his smile was warm and inviting. "Anything." 

"It's about San." 

Yunho broke his gaze, his sunshine smile fading. "I told you, I didn't want to—"

"How do you know him?"

"What do you mean?"

"He said you were a former colleague. Did you work with him before? Can angels even work with demons?"

Yunho sighed, rubbing his neck apprehensively. "I shouldn't be tell—"

"I already know too much. What's one more thing?"

He chuckled lightly, the heavenly sound ringing in your ears like a lullaby. "I suppose you have a point. But… you can't tell San I told you this."

Your hand came up, zipping your mouth closed with a wink. "Consider it locked away." 

“Alright, well… San wasn’t always a demon. He used to be an angel. We worked together. We were… friends. A long time ago, at least.”

They were friends? You couldn’t ever imagine them getting along.

“What happened?”

“He fell for a human. His assignment. I wouldn’t say that’s typical, but it happens. I don’t blame him for that.” Yunho dropped his gaze, gritting his teeth. “An angel who has fallen for a human… they usually experience the grief of loss, and move on. There’s nothing in angel code that says you can’t experience love. But San has always been... more impulsive than most. And he made a mistake.”

Your heart dropped in your chest. “What—what kind of mistake?” 

“He wanted to make a deal, with a crossroads demon. The deal would prolong her life, but he would be forever indentured to the demon. He didn’t care… as you probably already know, he’s impulsive.” He paused for a moment, rubbing his neck in thought. His expression was pained, regretful.  “I—I was the only angel he told about making the deal. He trusted me, but I ratted him out. He was making a huge mistake… I couldn’t let him sell his soul away like that.”

“So he made the deal?”

“No. They got to him in time. But he broke a lot of angel codes when he made that plan, and I was witness to his confession. They tried his case, but he was never very well liked by the committee. And so they banished him.” 

You fell silent, unable to form the right words. Yunho’s eyes were big, glistening with what looked like the beginning of tears.

“He would never say it, but I know he blames me for his human’s death. If I hadn’t have told them about his plans, she wouldn’t have died then. But… I couldn’t let him sell his soul to the crossroads demon. At the time, I never imagined he’d be banished. I thought they would just stop him from making the deal, maybe suspend him for a few weeks. But not banished.”

“So, angels who are banished become demons then?” 

“They don’t have to. They just can’t carry out their angel duties anymore. And they’re stripped of their wings. He was hurt. Scared, I’m sure. He had nowhere left to turn. He sold his angel soul to become a demon, for the promise of a life of fulfillment. However twisted it was.”

You dropped your gaze, falling completely silent for a while. None of Yunho’s story connected with the dark, bloodthirsty San you knew. You couldn’t imagine what he was like as an angel. Did he sparkle like the stars? Did he smell like heaven itself? Was his smile like the sunshine too? 

Yunho’s voice broke through the silence. “I answered your question. Now you answer one for me.”

His serious expression suddenly made you uneasy. "Is it this last homework question?" you joked, but Yunho's face was unamused. 

"San…” His eyes met with yours, soft and earnest. “...do you love him?"

Your eyes went wide. “Do I love San? No… no.” You shook your head a few too many times, as if you were trying to convince yourself, not Yunho. “Our relationship is purely business. We exchange... services. That's all.” Your hand came up to your neck involuntary, feeling the faint remaining scars of his bite marks.

“Then why do you keep him around? You're beautiful.” Your heart fluttered for a minute at his fleeting compliment. How could such an otherworldly handsome being think you were beautiful?

“You don't need his… services. He's nothing but trouble. I know you know that.” 

“Maybe I'm attracted to trouble.”

"Well, you're attracted to me, too, right?" Your breath caught in your chest. Heat rose in your face, staining your cheeks an incriminating bright red. You opened your mouth hesitantly, but he didn't give you the chance to answer. "So maybe you don't need a bad boy after all?" 

"You said it yourself, Yunho. You need to focus on protecting me. No complications." 

He leaned in closer, setting his hand gently on your cheek. A chill rolled through your spine. "What if I changed my mind?" 

You pulled your lips against his, melting against him softly. You wanted him. Yunho. The ethereal boy that stole your heart the moment you saw him. But now, your mind saw only San. Why? Why could you only see his face?

You didn’t see the San you knew, though. You didn’t see demon San, you saw angel San. The one you could only imagine. You saw the San with a soft, peaceful smile, highlighted by the cute dimples on his cheeks. You saw the San who would risk his life for the one he loved, no matter the cost. You saw the San who made a mistake, and paid his soul for it. 

Your heart ached. You pulled away from Yunho suddenly, a single tear rolling from your eyes at first, followed by a river.

He didn’t ask you why, he only pulled you into him tightly, wrapping his long arms around you in the most comforting hug. You nuzzled into his neck, taking in his scent—he smelled like fresh rain on a spring morning.

It would have been so simple just to choose Yunho. He was the obvious choice. Beautiful, warm, kind—he was everything you could ever need. 

So why could you only think of San?

[seijorhi]

asks :))

what i have learned today is that y’all wanna get fucked by some monsters...

What does nostos mean? What language is it in? 🤔 also I of course loved it, mind blown as usual queen

it’s ancient greek! it means homecoming, the idea of a triumphant return home for the hero after a long journey. i found it through looking at the root of nostalgia. in this fic of course it’s kind of a grim tongue in cheek play on it. the reader’s coming back to the mountains, but she’s running away after a bad breakup, and the welcome she gets is... shall we say less than ideal haha

Just read nostos-

First of all as a person who reads monster shit- hell ya. Mhm. That’s some good shit right there. That was DELICIOUS horror. It actually had me a bit nervous and afraid to read what was gonna happen next 😳

Secondly- omg I wanna know what happened next (at the end) 👀 know what I mean??? 😼

ANYWAY AS ALWAYS you never disappoint and your writing is fantastic (if/when you write horror yandere stuff again I’ll be there- frothing at the mouth. A+++++ work ILY💖)

you want me to write the monster porn, just say it bby ghfjdkshgfjkd but ty

Omfg that fic was so good!

Did the readers mom know about monster kuroo?? Or was she just worried because of the previous murder? And did Kuroo somehow manipulate reader into coming back to the forest or was it just a big coincidence? (👁👄👁 there's no such thing as a coincidence)

Looking forward to your future work <3

ty nonnie!! i didn’t have the right space for it, but after kohsuke was ripped apart and eaten kuroo stayed by the reader’s side until late in the night, only disappearing when he heard the reader’s parents/search party approaching. they found her lying in pools of blood (and scattered half eaten body parts), shaking and unresponsive – they knew no animal could’ve done something like that. so they knew something lurked in those woods, but considering the reader had repressed the memories, her mom couldn’t just come out and say it <33

You are an AMAZING horror writer!!!

The uneasiness I got from the conversations with the mom is just *chefs kiss*

A+++++

ahh thank you!! horror is such a hard genre to write because i’m never sure if the suspense and everything’s gonna hit right haha

I read Nostos before going to sleep last night and at the time I was like “sure hope this doesn’t give me nightmares” and thankfully it didn’t lol. But I think I’m willing to take that chance again because it’s so GOOD and I think I’m just going to have to relive it – @ohno-otome

fhdjgbfhjkdfn i’m glad it didn’t give you nightmares bby!! but i also appreciate that haha, i’m an absolute wimp with scary movies and stuff but i just can’t stop watching them haha

I just wanna say that I was listening to "You're a psychotic villain playlist" on youtube while reading Kuroo's oneshot and I can't explain the emotions I felt, but I'd let Kuroo do things to me asdfghjkl – @itishebihime-samaforyou

ooh nice! sometimes the right playlist makes things doubly as fun haha

OH MY GOD!?!?! Nostos was soooo GOOD?!?!? Like it was so creepy (but in a good way), and scary and suspenseful!! And the ending!?!? Omggg honestly one my fav fics from you!! You did my mans Kuroo justice 🥺💖💕

TYYYYYYY i was genuinely concerned i was gonna scare everybody off haha

Ah! The new fic! Chiefs kiss! Magnificent! Bravo!🧚‍♀️✨🧞‍♀️🦖🦭🌹💫

tysm nonnie!!! <33

i’m pretty sure i’m in the same/similar timezone as you? and i do be staying up late to be one of the first to read your fics (i usually stay up late anyways). so imagine my surprise when i see you post in the afternoon. in conclusion, whether you post to align with your european and american readers’ timezone, my gmt+10 arse will still be one of the first to read your fics. also nostos sjdufigyyjf i have to admit, i recently just found out about monster fucking and nostos scratched the itch😫 i feel bad for kohsuke though

bby i always post at like 2-4 in the morning please get some sleep!! the fics will be there in the morning lmao. i kinda low key forget about my aussie/gmt+10 followers because i think there’s like... 3 of you haha

Honestly if i could give u a dollar everytime i got off to your fics, you'd probably be rich by now

lmao the idea that people find my fics hot enough to get off to still blows my mind lol

your newest kuroo fic was so SO good!! its totally okay if you dont want to answer this so you can keep things ambiguous but is monster kuroo planning on killing the reader after he's...done with them

thank you, bby!! but no, monster kuroo isn’t gonna eat her – he’s had plenty of chances to do that if that’s what he wanted, but he has other plans for the poor reader

RHI, I WANT TO STATE FOR THE RECORD THAT I AM OKAY WITH MORE MONSTER FUCKING IN THE FUTURE. i also want to say im not a monster fucker, but that just feels like a lie at this point. okay, now that that's off my chest, i love it. the mystery, the connections of kuroo to a cat. kuroo's probably gonna go and batter around his prey once they're under his grip like my cat does. hopefully the reader will come out somewhat unscathed, if they are ever allowed to leave 😌 love this, love how different it is, the way kuroo just tries to weasel in. very monster and yandere vibes, very you. have i said i love this yet?? id willingly let him get me drunk on his cock, maybe never leave the peace of the mountains again

‘i want to say that i’m not a monster fucker’ bby the denial will get you nowhere haha. just lean in and embrace it hgfjkdlkfgjnkdl ahh but thank you this is such a sweet ask ILY!!!

Omg omg the monster thing kuroo was in ur latest fic is so familiar to me abdhdmfnjfjf. I remember being told abt a monster with VERY SIMILAR characteristics to it (aka the not being able to go inside a house unless invited and using fire to lure ppl out) AND JFC IT TERRIFIED ME. Esp how when i told ppl around me and they didnt recognize what it was, but it was somehow known to the kid that told me abt it.

(Some ppl thought it was familiar but still didnt know what it was)

Do u know what im talking abt? Hopefully u do

-🥚

GHFJDK so the monster in this is kind of based off the nekomata spirit in japanese folklore - they can appear like people, torment victims by reanimating the corpses of their loved ones, they’ve been blamed for forest fires, so it was just fun to use that as a basis and then go buck wild haha. anyway thanks for the ask bby!

Rest In Peace Kohsuke, you would’ve loved Haikyuu season 5😔✊– @joyvstheworld

poor kohsuke deserved better, i’m just mean to the oc’s i throw into fics haha

Monsterfucking ❤❤❤❤❤❤ a little annoyed you're making me simp for yan Kuroo though (a vibe tho tbh). You're so extremely talented!!!! &

This is probably a stupid question, but how did Kageyama react when he couldn't find y/n? How is life with yan Suga? I imagine probably awful BUT yknow maybe the stockholm syndrome set in fast lmao. Sorry, I'm going on a binge reading your stuff. - @oracleofdin

i will not apologise for making you simp for kuroo he deserves it the man’s a snacc. and as far as your second question, suga’s a very caring, very smothering kinda yandere, so i guess in some ways it’s better than what the reader had with kageyama but... pick your poison haha

That was so good. I’m so shook rn I can’t comprehend anything but how good that was and how good a writer you are

TYSM NONNIE!!! <33

Ok, so, I just read Final Girl and the lil' ticket addition to it and just---

Well, ok I've been playing Dead by Daylight a lot lately? And I'm just picturing Tetsu as the newest killer "The Trickster" and I'm positively RANDY.

Your writing is ALREADY thirst inducing and just as satisfying, but this has SENT ME- If you're not familiar, please...

https://youtu.be/iowkiPobYYQ

Understand my thirst. (I'd also like to clarify, I use a different skin for him that gives him black hair and he looks like Kuroo with an undercut.)

~ @the-casual-hedonist 🌸

i love how feral y’all got for final girl kuroo. like bo and akaashi had his fans, but i put a spiked bat in kuroo’s hands and y’all lost your goddamn minds and i love to see it. fghdjkvhfjdkls thanks for the ask bby

idk why but I love preggo reader as long as I don't pretend it's me 😢✋ I hate babies n pregnancy anywhere else other than horny haikyuu fics

i think that’s a valid thing for a lot of fans. the idea of breeding is sexy, the actual getting pregnant and having a kid thing... not so much. but especially with non-con scenario’s, it’s more about the aspect on control than the actual desire to have kids. but yeah, i feel you

Sorry to bother but uh was just wondering in fracture did Osamu kill his wife or was it actually an “unfortunate event” ? Love your work btw!!

he most certainly did :))

LMFAO RHI i totally get not liking cheating/infidelity fics (towards reader) bc IT HIRTS ME SO BAD I CANNOT HANDLE THOSE.

id be reading fics those fics like: tf you mean my yandere aimt gonna baby me and only want me??🤨🤨🤨⁉️‼️

EXACTLY! listen i get that it’s a fucked up fantasy, but in my fucked up fantasy you damn well better have the decency to be loyal smh

Finders keepers is the most beautiful thing I've read by you: I read it twice like I normally do and here's what I figured out the second time (that's when I analyze it and find the little tidbits of things that are much darker than they appear (: )

To start I LOVE THE DETAILS OF THEM NEVER TEACHING READER ANYTHING- at first I assumed "oh they might see her as a little sister or child or something" but realized thAT WAS THE ISSUE!! they infantilize her and isolate her from everyone but her group. the small details like that are what make the story amazing 😎💅

ahh thank you so much, nonnie!! pls this is making me soft 🥺

I just wanted to stop by and say that I love your writing and I hope you're doing well!!! Drink plenty of water and keep up the amazing work :) but seriously you're one of the best fanfic writers I've seen on tumblr! I read your "Imitation" piece about kuroo and i keep coming back to it, it's so good! I did want to ask if you think it'd be possible for the reader to ever escape with the baby (or at least attempt to). Or if Kenma would "help" at all just to put an end to kuroo's antics lmao

kenma would in no way help the reader, and tbh by that point if kuroo did get her pregnant, she’d be far too emotionally dependant on him to actually even want to leave, but thanks for the ask!

You know who I think would be a perfect Yandere in the JJK world? Choso.

🚨Spoilers Ahead🚨

After being locked in a glass jar for however long he was, and all that happened with his brothers, I feel like he would absolutely never let his darling out of his sight. He would be possessive. Obsessive. And Oh So delusional. Sure he’d be your anything - he truly is a softy - but to what end?🤤

choso would make an excellent yandere, ngl 😌

what au/troupe of your fav character(s) that you have written do you like the most?

(rlly hope this makes sense🙏)

i am always a slut for soulmate au’s :))

[ijenoyou]

I’m sorry.

jeno x oc!mia. nct24th member. red velvet6th member.

summary; after finding out you didn’t send a supportive text to jeno just like the other members he tries to understand the reason for it.

warnings; i think none hehe but has fluff and a bit of angst lol, has mentions of clc yeeun and this is also set during that backstage interview during boom era. Also english isn’t my first language sooo if you see any mistake pls ignore it ahaha

btw this story line will have more parts soooo if you want to suggest like any scenario you’re more than welcome to do that!!

The dream members where having an interview backstage before their stage, all of them were having a good time until the TMI section started, causing a big mess in Jeno’s head.

“Should I start?” Renjun asked to the other members which to that all of them nodded.

“Please say something interesting!” Haechan whined.

Renjun laughed. “Let me see... Today Mia texted me a supportive message!” He finished with a smile.

“She sent one for me too!” Jisung said with a proud smile.

After that, everyone stated that they all got a text from her but quickly found out Jeno didn’t.

“She didn’t text me.” Jeno said while the rest of the member were praising her for being a good noona but after hearing Jeno’s word they abruptly stopped.

“Are you sure?” Jaemin asked with furrowed eyebrows.

“Yeah... It’s fine, she probably forgot about it.” Jeno said with his famous eye smile.

But in reality, it wasn’t fine, Jeno felt like Mia was angry at him because of the way she started to avoid him like the plague after she saw him and Yeeun having lunch together. After finishing the interview, they went back to their waiting room and started to prepare for their stage.

Renjun was sitting next to Jeno on the couch while they were watching the other groups perform, Renjun’s phone rang, indicating that he got a text. When he flipped his phone to see what it was about Jeno saw Mia’s contact name making his chest ache with a weird pain making him feel uneasy. He couldn’t stop staring at Renjun’s phone and felt bad but he had to know if they were talking about him.

Mia(✿◠‿◠): injunieeeeee

Mia(✿◠‿◠): are you busy?

rj: nope, what’s up?

Mia(✿◠‿◠): hehe nothing i’m just bored :p

Mia(✿◠‿◠): btw, are you guys at building 4?

rj: yup, why?

Mia(✿◠‿◠): i’m at building 3 recording the intro for next week’s show so i was thinking if i could go and visit you guys ʕっ•ᴥ•ʔっ

rj: we still have one hour so please! visit us~

Mia(✿◠‿◠): but

rj: but?

Mia(✿◠‿◠): is Jeno there?

rj: ofc he’s here! stop being like that and come hereee >:(

Mia(✿◠‿◠): i’m suddenly being call on set, can’t go hehe see you at the dorm junnie!

Jeno frowned after seeing the texts, he felt sad during the backstage interview after finding out Mia didn’t send any text to him like she did with the other members and now he was heartbroken after seeing that she didn’t wanted to see him. He knew what he did was wrong but Jeno really wanted to fix things with her.

Mia was looking for Jeno before he went on stage to do his MC job, she was skipping her steps because she was happy her and Jeno were starting to act on their feelings for each other. But she stopped when she saw Jeno and Yeeun picking their food from the table that was set up for the staff and artist to have their lunch. Mia didn’t want to interrupt them so she waiting and went to the vending machines that were full of drinks and candies. She took out a 1000 won bill and put it in the machines so she could get her favorite chocante bar which is a Kit-Kat.

“I’m really happy to be working with you Jen.” She heard Yeeun’s voice almost next to her. Mia froze and stopped mid way, she turned a bit and saw that the both of them were sitting next to the vending machines with their backs turned.

She wasn’t one for invading people’s privacy but when she saw that Yeeun was holding his hand, she thought nothing of it but what made her upset was that he interlaced his fingers with hers.

“I’m happy too.” He answered.

“I was thinking, maybe after we finish today’s show we could go to this ramen restaurant my members and I go to.” Yeeun said with a smile.

“A date?”

“Well... it’s only a date if you want to.”

Oh. Mia’s eyes were starting to fill up with tears. It wasn’t the fact that they were holding hands, it was the fact that he only smiled at Yeeun’s words making Mia think that he wanted to be Yeeun instead of her.

Yeeun turned around to grab another drink but stopped as soon as she saw Mia.

“Hi Mia!” She said with a big smile, she patted Jeno’s shoulder. “Look, she came to visit you!”

Jeno turned as fast as he could and when he saw the tears forming in her eyes he knew fucked up. He got up and took a step towards her tiny figure but she took one step back. Mia’s sad eyes turned into angry ones and turned around.

“Mia! Please!” Jeno said.

When they arrived to the dorm all of the dream members took showers and went to the living room to watch a movie together. They were at mid movie when the dorm door opened.

“I’m home!” Mia shouted.

All of the dream members heads turned and smiled except for Jeno.

“Noona!” Jisung said with excitement and got up from the couch to give her a hug.

After that, she took her shoes off and left them at the door. She walked towards the couch and ruffled Renjun’s hair making him smile. She ducked a bit and gave him a kiss in the cheek.

“Be right back! I’m gonna change into my pj’s, do you guys want sushi? It’s on me! Star ordering.”

The dream members shouted a thank you towards her and started to order their food. She smiled and started to walk towards the hallway.

“Why didn’t you text me something too?” Jeno’s voice made everyone including Mia stop in their tracks.

Mia turned around and sighed.

“I think we should order in my room, let’s go guys.” Jaemin said and the rest of the boys nodded.

After all of them left, Mia took seat next to Jeno.

“I didn’t texted you because I didn’t know if you still wanted anything to do with me.” She murmured and played with her fingers.

Jeno took her hands into his and gave them a squish.

“I’m sorry... for not saying anything back there. I know that it was wrong that I let her think that I wanted to date her.”

Mia nodded.

“It’s just that, I know she is way prettier than me and way better that me in everytime, If I were you I would go for Yeeun instead of me.” Mia said mmmm pone after a few seconds of silence.

“What? No!” Jeno turned his full body and took Mia by the shoulders. “You’re the one I like, you’re the prettiest girl and my eyes it will always be like this!”

It was no secret Mia was insecure, when she first debuted with Red Velvet she knew people would point out her looks since she is mixed, people mostly pointed out how she was tanner than the rest of the members. Or people would say that they couldn’t figure out how she managed to debut with Red Velvet since she wasn’t as pretty as the rest of the members.

Her NCT members found out about it through the years, they could see and feel how she felt about herself when someone complimented her denying their words or even when she talked low about herself.

“You think I’m pretty?” Mia asked with tears in her cheeks.

“You don’t need other peoples opinions baby, but yes, I know you’re the prettiest girl in the world.

She smiled and nodded. Jeno took her cheeks in his hands and guided her towards his face.

“Can I kiss you?” He asked.

“Please do it.” Mia answered making him smile.

When their lips connected, Jeno and Mia’s heart began to beat faster.

Without them noticing, the other dream members fist bumped the air.

[musette22]

As it's Chris' birthday today, what's your Evanstan headcon for how they are spending it? We don't know if Chris is still in LA (as far as I know), do you think he might be back in Boston to be with his family? That would mean Seb could easily visit him now that the lockdown in NYC is over. Or would he fly to LA to celebrate with his bf? (He hasn't been seen in NYC in the last couple of days either, right?) Or will the only hang out virtually? I would love to know what you are imagining 😊

Hello darling!! So yesterday, I said I probably wasn’t going to write any Evanstan for a while, but then I woke up this morning and had a lovely little Evanstan headcanon fantasy about Chris’s birthday - as you do - and then I thought screw it, let’s write this thing. So here’s a little drabble (well, it should’ve been a drabble) about how Chris might have spent his birthday 😘

A/N: This is just a nonsensical little fantasy scenario that doesn’t actually make any sense, but the idea made me happy, so I hope it’ll make you guys happy too! Don’t look too closely, please, there’s some overlap with previous fics and this was all written very quickly and hasn’t been edited properly because it’s late where I am and I need to sleep lmao 🙈 Sorry about that!

Happy birthday, Mr. America 

*********

Chris likes surprises, generally speaking.

Not the nasty kind, like when a part unexpectedly falls through, or someone gets angry at him out of the blue and he doesn’t know what he’s done wrong. But he likes it when exciting things happen and shake things up a bit, like when he’s having a lazy day alone at home, and a friend suddenly shows up on his doorstep to tell him, change of plans, we’re going bungee jumping. When that happens, Chris will happily drop whatever he’s doing and jump in the car, because that’s the kind of thing that makes him feel alive.

So when he arrives at the Evans’ family house today, on his birthday, and is greeted by a chorus of Surprise! and Happy Birthdays from a bunch of people he hasn’t seen ages - literal years, in some cases - Chris is delighted and touched; excited to see familiar faces and catch up with his friends and family.

That excited feeling lasts for a solid few hours, until his Aunt Melanie corners him and starts telling Chris about her Pilates instructor. This isn’t the first time she’s tried to set Chris up with whichever wonderful girl she’s most recently met and feels would be perfect for Chris, but this time she’s really hammering on about how she just can’t understand why a good-looking, successful young man like him hasn’t found a wife yet. She no doubt means well, but that doesn’t mean Chris is about to go on a blind date with her Pilates instructor.

When he’s finally managed to excuse himself under the pretense of needing a bathroom break, he sneaks off to the back of the house, to his dad’s old study. As soon as the door closes behind him, he lets out a sigh of relief and leans back against it for a moment, catching his breath. He loves his family to bits, but there’s no denying they’re a lot. There’s a sofa in the study, a wide, navy blue one, and Chris lies down on it, stretching himself to his full length. He closes his eyes, hoping to nap for a couple of minutes, but no dice. His aunt’s comments play in his head on a loop, causing something uneasy to stir in his stomach.

The thing is, she’s right. He should already be married and have a couple of cute kids to dote on. He’s wanted to have a family and settle down for a long time, ever since he got done with sowing his wild oats and calmed down a little. He’s the long-term relationship kind, and there had been a few girlfriends with whom he thought he definitely could see a future.

That had been Before, though. Before Sebastian Stan had waltzed into his life and upended everything Chris thought he knew for certain, complicating everything in the best and worst possible way. After the initial shock of developing feelings for another guy wore off, Chris had simply accepted his infatuation as a fact of life, and it had become something he carried with him always, but never acted on or even spoke of. He wouldn’t know where to start. It was clear there was something between them, though. The way Sebastian looked at him sometimes… It had to mean something. For the longest time, they’d danced around each other, always just shy of outright flirting, and there had been a few times when Chris really thought something might finally happen between them. But it never did.

And now it never would. They’ve hardly even seen each other, over the past year, after they stopped working together. Sure, they kept in touch from time to time, but there is only so much keeping in touch two work friends can plausibly do before it gets weird or necessarily has to turn into something else. And Chris thought he’d accepted that, more or less.

But then last week, he and Scott had gotten drunk together – like really, stupidly drunk. At around 3 in the morning, Scott had put on The First Avenger so he could make fun of Chris in his skin tight leggings, and then suddenly Sebastian’s face had been right there on his TV screen: larger than life, young and handsome like he’d been when Chris first felt that tug in his gut when he’d looked at him.

And Chris, whose brain-to-mouth filter unfortunately ceases to exist entirely whenever he’s had too much to drink, had just blurted out, “I think I’m in love with him.”

Initially, Scott had thought Chris meant that Steve was in love with Bucky. 

“Well, clearly,” he’d slurred. “They’re soooo gay, oh my god.”

And instead of using the misunderstanding to cover up for his unfortunate drunken slip-up, Chris had slowly shook his head and corrected, “No, with Sebastian. ‘M in love with Sebastian. Have been for a long time, I think.”

He’d passed out not long after, possibly his subconscious’ way of trying to protect himself against the barrage of questions from Scott that Chris had been in no state to answer in that moment. Inevitably, Scott had tried to talk to him about it the next day, but Chris – hungover, embarrassed and annoyed with himself for opening his big mouth and spilling this secret that he’d managed to keep for close to a decade – had told Scott to leave it and that he didn’t want to talk about it. Nothing was ever going to come of this now anyway, so it was much better if they could all just forget it ever happened.

Scott and he had gone to dinner at their mom’s that night, and of course, Lisa had instantly sensed something was off. Unfortunately, Chris never did stand a chance in hell against his mother, so when she took him to aside after dinner and outright asked him what was wrong, he’d had no choice but to spill the beans. Besides, if he didn’t, Scott would probably have found a way to guilt him into telling Lisa, eventually - they’d always shared everything with her, after all.

Lisa had been so loving and understanding, just like Chris knew she would, and despite the aching in his chest, he was grateful and a little bit relieved to know he wasn’t keeping something this significant from her any longer. But in the end, it didn’t change anything. Of course, Lisa had asked him why he didn’t just go for it, told him to just go for it, call Sebastian and ask him out for dinner, but Chris had dismissed all her suggestions. It just wasn’t going to happen. Certainly not now, not anymore.

She’d dropped it, eventually, but Chris is under no illusions that he’s heard the last of it.

Since then, he’d tried to put the whole fiasco out of his mind, but then Aunt Melanie started badgering him about his marital status and it had all come rushing back again.

Just when Chris about to give up on trying to nap and head outside to get some fresh air instead, there’s a knock at the door.

Chris sighs, rubbing his eyes. “Come in,” he calls, not bothering to get up because it’s probably his mom coming to check on him. “Hey, mom,” he says, when Lisa’s head does appear around the door.

“Hi, sweetheart,” she replies, smiling. She opens the door a little wider. “There’s someone here to see you.”

“Oh?” Chris says, sitting up a little straighter for whatever friend or family member his mom wants him to meet so urgently, but then Lisa steps aside to reveal –  

Sebastian.

Sebastian is here. In his mom’s house. Standing right there, looking a little apprehensive and unsure, but still so fucking gorgeous it makes Chris’s heart stop for a moment inside his chest, before it starts up again at double speed.

“Hey, Chris,” Sebastian says, and it’s his voice, he’s really here, in Chris’s dad’s old study, speaking actual words at him.

What the fuck.

Chris gets to his feet so fast he feels a bit lightheaded, lightly swaying on his feet before he manages to get some semblance of a reply. "Hi. What- Sebastian. What are you doing here?"

Sebastian’s eyes flicker to Lisa for a moment, looking at her a little uncertainly. She gives him an encouraging nod.

“Um,” Sebastian starts, turning his eyes back to Chris again. “Lisa, your mom, invited me to your surprise birthday party.” He licks his lips nervously. “So, yeah, happy birthday. And, um. Surprise.” The last word is accompanied by a dorky little wave, and Chris is just. Speechless.

Literally, can’t form any words speechless, which is highly unusual for him. When he just keeps standing there, staring a Sebastian like he’s some kind of fata morgana, Lisa rolls her eyes and nudges Sebastian with her elbow.

“Well, go on, then,” she prompts, nodding in Chris’s direction. “He won’t bite.” Then, the look in her eyes turns mischievous, and Chris has half a second to think oh no, before she adds, “Unless you like that sort of thing, of course, but then he'd ask first. I raised him well.”

Sebastian makes a strangled sound, but starts towards him nonetheless, and before he really knows what’s happening, Chris is holding Sebastian in his arms. Holding him in his arms and burying his face in the crook of his neck and breathing him in. Sebastian’s arms go around him, too, a little tentative at first, but growing tighter, more secure, the longer the hug lasts. 

And it lasts, much longer than a casual happy birthday hug between friends is supposed to last, but Chris can’t for the life of him bring himself to let go. He knows he’s clinging, that he’s got his nose pressed to the spot below Sebastian’s ear and that’s probably far too intimate, but Sebastian’s arms around are wound tightly around Chris’s waist and his cheek is presses to the side of Chris’s face, and he’s not letting go either.

Finally, after what feels simultaneously like forever and the blink of an eye, Sebastian inhales shakily, his chest expanding against Chris’s. With Herculean effort, Chris makes himself pull away. But, of course, that brings with it the complication of being able to see Sebastian’s face, flustered and glowing, eyes shining with something unnameable. They’re so close then, their faces only an inch or so apart, and when Sebastian’s eyes flicker down to Chris’s mouth for a split second, Chris’s restraint breaks.

He lunges forward, and Sebastian does the same, and their mouths crash together awkwardly and suddenly, they’re kissing. Really, actually kissing. 

Chris’s hands fly to Sebastian’s face, holding it like it’s something precious, causing Sebastian to make a small, desperate sound that reverberates throughout Chris’s entire body. When he licks at the seam of Sebastian’s lips, Sebastian parts them immediately, letting him in, and Chris is drowning. Drowning in the kiss, in Sebastian’s taste, his smell, the little sighs he’s making against Chris’s lips, like he’s just as overwhelmed and stupefied and happy as Chris is, while they cling to each other like they’re each scared the other’s going to disappear if they dare to let up for just one second.

Eventually, though, they have to break apart for air. Chris presses their foreheads together, unwilling to put any more distance between them than is strictly necessary, still breathing the same air. When Chris eventually opens his eyes, he finds Sebastian looking back at him in a way that makes his knees feel suddenly weak.

"Hi," Seb says, voice low and husky.

"Hey," Chris replies, his hands on either side of Sebastian’s face, thumbs idly caressing his cheekbones.

Sebastian giggles, a light, happy sound that makes his nose do that scrunchy thing it does, and Chris wants to die. He groans, pulling Sebastian back in by the back of his neck –

And then Lisa clears her throat. Sebastian startles; he’d evidently forgotten she was still there, or maybe assumed she’d have left to give them their privacy, but that just goes to show Sebastian doesn’t know Lisa very well – yet.

"Well,” Lisa says, a grin in her voice. “I'll leave you two to it then, let me know if you need anything.” She pauses, before cheekily adding, “Anything at all."

“Yes, thank you, mom,” Chris says quickly, keen to spare Sebastian any further embarrassment. Sebastian’s hiding his face in Chris’s chest as it is, arms still wound around his waist, and Chris is literally about to pass out from how fucking cute that is.

Holding up a placating hand, Lisa finally retreats, closing the door behind her.

Once they’re alone, Chris steers Sebastian towards the couch, sitting down and pulling him into his lap. Sebastian lets himself be guided, straddling Chris’s thighs and giving him a coy look through his eyelashes. Chris blows out a slow breath to center himself a little, bringing up his hands to settle on Sebastian’s waist.

He knows they’ll need to talk about this at some point, but right now he can’t think of a single way to express what he’s feeling, and what this means to him. Right now, all he can do is stare at Sebastian in wonder, relishing finally getting to look at him the way he’s always wanted to: unabashedly, fondly, and very appreciative of exactly how tempting Sebastian’s lips look – especially after having been thoroughly kissed. By him.

“Fuck,” Chris breathes, overwhelmed, leaning in again to catch those pretty pink lips in another kiss.

Sebastian responds beautifully, opening up right away, melting into him. His arms wind around Chris’s shoulders, fingers scratching gently through the hair on the back of Chris’s head, making him shiver.

It’s sweet, at first; lips sliding together lazily, slow and lush, but eventually, the kisses turn a little dirtier, with nipping teeth and teasing tongues. When Sebastian bites Chris’s bottom lip a bit too hard, pulling on it, Chris literally goes cross-eyed for a second. The hand that found its way into Sebastian’s hair tightens instinctively, pulling his head back just a little.

“Oh,” Sebastian breathes, eyelids fluttering, and Chris instantly feels all his blood rushing south.

He can’t believe it. He can’t believe he has Sebastian here, in his lap, looking like innocence and sin wrapped into one, looking at him through heavy lidded eyes like it’s Chris who’s something to be desired. And Chris wants. He wants so bad, with every fiber of his being, to have Sebastian right there and then, but he has just enough presence of mind left to know that they can’t rush this, can’t make any rash decisions they might later regret if they don’t talk about what’s happening first.

Words still seem impossible, however, so instead, Chris takes one of Sebastian’s hands in his and presses a kiss to the center his palm, hoping to convey with that one gesture everything he wants to say but can’t.

When he looks back up, Sebastian blinks at him, his eyes wide and stunned, before he suddenly grabs Chris’s face between his hands and starts planting breathless kisses on his cheeks, his eyelids, his forehead, and even his nose. Chris lets himself be kissed, basks in it, feeling like his heart might burst, and when Sebastian finally presses his lips to his mouth, Chris seizes the opportunity to deepen the kiss. Despite Chris’s best intentions, it turns heated again in no time. Without his permission, his hands slide under Sebastian’s shirt, stroking the smooth, warm skin of his back, while Sebastian mouths at Chris’s jaw, then trails a path of kisses down the column of his neck.

“Seb,” Chris groans, hands tightening convulsively on Sebastian’s waist. “Sebastian, wait.”

“Yeah, yeah, sorry,” Sebastian pants, lifting his head to look down at him. He’s disheveled, his hair a mess, pupils blown, his lips red and a little raw from mouthing at Chris’s beard. He looks stunning.

“Jesus, you’re beautiful,” Chris says honestly, touching Sebastian’s left cheek.

Sebastian ducks his head turning his face into Chris’s palm, but he’s smiling, which makes Chris smile, too, then they’re just smiling at each other like a couple of dorks.

Chris shifts their positions to get more comfortable, tugging at Sebastian until they’re both lying on the couch on their sides, face to face. Pulling him closer, into his chest, Chris swings a leg over both of Sebastian’s, and Sebastian takes the hint immediately, snuggling into Chris and tucking his head under his chin so they’re full on cuddling.

“Best fucking birthday present ever,” Chris mutters into Sebastian’s hair, his hand tracing idle patters on Sebastian’s upper arm. In reply, Sebastian presses a kiss to Chris’s chest, over his heart.

Somehow, they snooze for a little while, just drifting in and out of consciousness, neither of them seeming to want to untangle themselves from the other, until after an indeterminate amount of time, there’s a soft knock at the door.

Chris hums questioningly in reply, not wanting to wake Sebastian, and the door opens cautiously. Lisa pokes her head in again, and the moment she sees them, all wrapped around each other like that, she covers her mouth with her hands, cooing softly.

“Happy Birthday, baby,” she whispers, her eyes shining with affection and pride.

“Thanks, mom,” Chris whispers back, blinking back tears. “Love you.”

From where he’s half asleep on Chris’s chest, Sebastian murmurs, “Love you, too.”

[va-3]

Part I

Second Half of my OC’s Information (the photo limit screwed me over)

The 1930s through the 1970s in Taika’s past is still a work in progress as well as the art soooo...probably a part three in the future?

Taika and Raspberry move to California the fall of 1986, although Raspberry finds a more permenant residence in Los Angeles while Taika finds herself on a more wandering path.

In the February of 1987 Taika wandered upon the town of Santa Carla, a town given credit for being home to those who wanted to disappear.

[side note: the jacket and jeans would be colored if only my damn markers hadn’t died]

Taika, a delinquent at heart as always, fit in like a puzzle piece. The punk-graffiti day life appealed to her like any adventure, and the smell of vampires lured her further into the town. She “cleared” a house (the act of killing the owners of a house and taking it for herself) as well as the garage. Taika acquired a 1987 Yamaha Virago via a rich douchebag she easily stole from and offed.

When the nightlife glowed at the boardwalk, it was apparent to the Santa Carla vampires that something was off, although they could not place it.

Taika did not make contact with the vampires for a while, seeming to distance herself just enough to make them curious about the uneasiness on the boardwalk since her arrival. Every now and then a body would turn up, a person snatched into an alleyway and partially eaten. It wasn’t until David met eyes with Taika across the boardwalk that it was clear to the Santa Carla vampires that there was another predator on their territory.

Taika’s aggressiveness and competitiveness are what pull the boys in first, that along with her scent, so much more intoxicating than any other human. A sort of playful rivalry grows between the calta and the vampires—who could last longer making trouble on the boardwalk without getting kicked off by Big Ed, who could score the biggest bonfire of surf nazis, and so on.

In the end it was Marko and Paul who put an end to the rivalry. Dwayne hadn’t thought he’d be able to really approach Taika and David was too prideful to do so. So the chaotic blonde duo took it upon themselves to invite her back to their cave as an act of trust as well as cease fire. David, no matter his pride, was quick to share about the fallen hotel made theirs. She was quick to catch on to the fact that they had been vampires much longer than they appeared. Dwayne brought it to her attention that she clearly knew what they were while they handn’t a single idea what she was.

With that question being asked, she explains what she is, and from there, their trusting relationship grows. The first time they hunt together is remotely terrifying to the vampires, considering she is a monster made for hunting them as well as other supernatural creatures.

The relationship between the boys and Taika blooms into something deeper, though it isn’t apparent to any of them at all at first. It was just small things they realized they loved about her, and her them. They fall in love with her odd little quirks, like how she always has change on her because it’s “shiny and distracting”, or how she’ll braid tiny braids into her hair and sometimes to boys’ hair, or how she makes beautifully delicate carvings out of the bones of their victims, or buys(steals) stuff for the cave while they all sleep, or organizes whatever she can anytime she comes the to cave, and really really likes coconut shrimp.

She steals the boy’s clothing whenever she leaves the cave during the day after a night of events, not that any of them complain. Marko’s crop tops are always her go to, while she wears Paul’s jewelry out and sometimes jeans that Dwayne doesn’t wear anymore. Sometimes Taika and David switch earrings, only because David is hesitant to give her any of his current clothing,. When he finds that he is more possesive of her than he’d openly admit, he gives her extra shirts of his to keep. Taika loves how the vampires smells mask her own; not only is it comforting, but it protects her from any lurking sevren(a post for another time).

Taika only needing three hours of sleep allows her to have a day life of her own, one that tends to breed chaos. Sometimes she’ll go surfing, something she’s become quite adept at, and show up the surf nazis on their own territory. Taika is the only member of the “biker gang” that the surfers ever see during the day, so they let out a lot of their aggression on her because they’re truly too cowardly to face the boys and her head on. The biggest mistake the surfers ever made was the day they decided it’d be humorous to steal her bike in broad daylight. She’d parked her bike(albeit illegally) on the boardwalk when she got to the beach, and when she returned later that day her bike was gone. Needless to say the surfers had invoked the wrath of someothing stronger than them on supernatural levels.

The boys knew something was up the instant they walked into the caves main area to find Taika waiting patiently at the exit. The only tthing she said was she needed a ride, one David gave happily. When the vampires had parked their bikes and Taika had muttered some words of reassurance to fill in her silence, she made a beeline for the carousel, following the ocean-spray smell of the asshole who’d taken her bike. He was standing in line with an arm draped over a girl who couldn’t have looked more trashy, his friends jostling one another as the line moved along. The four vampires followed behind the taller predator, their curiosity evident as they formed a half-crescent around her when she stopped. Taika was quick to clamp her arm onto the girl under the surfer and yank her out of the way, sending her flying onto her butt. Taika was mad, like, really mad. She hooked her hand into the collar of the surfers shirt, ignoring his protest when she yanked him to her.

“Where is it,” she hissed, putting forth minimal effort to keep herself from biting his face off in public. Marko watched in excitement, his thumb between his teeth as his eyes found the surfer’s. This guy was screwed. He raised his hands in surrender and feigned innocence, “Hey, I don’t know what your deal is lady, but I don’t know nothin about anything.”

His friends snickered behind Taika, clearly enjoying how angry they had made her. She narrowed her wild purple eyes, running her tongue over her teeth.

“Where’s my goddamn bike,” she demanded, her voice like ice down his spine. The vampires watched on, looking about occasionally to make sure Big Ed wouldn’t poke his nose where it didn’t belong. His friends burst into laughter again, shoving one another giddily. Taika had half the mind to throw the surfer in her hands at them like a bowling ball at pin, but she repressed her urges.

“You can make this easy or you can make it hard. Give my my bike and I won’t have to kill you.” He pressed his hands to the sides of his face and made a noise imitating a ghost. She stilled, silently in thought for a moment before she scoffed and let go of his shirt.

“Fine. I’ll find it myself. Boys,” she turned sharply on her heel and marched towards her vampires, hooking her hand into Dwayne’s in a way that was supposed to be gentle, but she was too mad. Paul slipped his hand into her back pocket and matched her pace.

“Yeah, run to your queers.”

The boys would swear on their lives that they’d never seen her spin around and tackle someone as fast as she tackled that surfer. He was in the ground in seconds, and Taika was planting hit after hit, taking the few blows he managed to land on her ribs like they were nothing. The surfers friends sprang into action, attacking the boys as well as trying to pry Taika from the much bigger surfer. The surfer’s face was bleeding all over, and he was fighting to stay awake. Taika wanted blood. Her bike’s absence was a small inconvenience that ensured a meal later that night, but the insult to her boys was a direct blow at her. They could trash talk her straight to her face, insult her, whatever made them feel powerful, but no one, no one, says anything about her boys. At last, she was whacked across the face by the baton belonging to Big Ed. The blow stunned her if anything, although she fell to the side and off of the offending surfer. Paul and Marko were quick to her side, helping her to her feet while also readying to catch her if she tried lunge out at the bleeding prick on the ground. “Off the boardwalk. All of you! Now!”

David was beaming with pride as Taika walked to him and Dwayne, wiping the surfers’ blood from her lip. The surfers backed from the bikers as they walked forwards, parting away from them to avoid Taika who walked in front, acting as an active threat to anyone who dared to even think about opposing them. When the five were clear of the crowd, Paul looped his arms around Taika and pulled her in for a smacking kiss. “That was awesome babe. Like, so fucking awesome.”

She burst into laughter, dropping her head onto his chest.

“Hell yeah it was,” added Marko, yanking her to him and spinning her like they were dancing. “I’m like two-hundred percent sure that guy pissed himself!”

Marko and Paul exchanged a highly energetic high-five, feeling the energy of the fight reigniting itself. Dwayne silently pulled her into him and kissed her forehead.

“Good to know you care, kitten,”at David’s words she beamed. Dwayne released her, and she bounced towards David, latching onto the lapels of his jacket. “I hope you know that I would do anything for you,” her sultry accent sent a delighted chill down his back. “All of you,” she sang, letting go of David’s jacket and spinning into Paul and Marko’s arms giggling like a school girl. From within the blond vampire sandwich, she raised her hand in the air to make a point. “Now, let’s go find my bike!”

The car belonging to the surfer who’d stolen Taika’s bike was found strung up in a junkyard the next day. The sight had been stupendous apparently, and ended up on the news. The owner of the car and his friends had a been absolutely delicious. After he’d returned Taika’s bike of course.

[suckmyballshoney]

Mini prompt that became way too long, for @moony-jamie 💙 Esteban/Lance first date (uni AU)

Esteban adjusted the collar of his shirt for what felt like the hundredth time, nerves almost making him run away in the opposite direction. He took a deep breath and got out of his old rusty car. His eyes were stuck on the large mansion facing him, making him feel way too small for a boy as tall as him. His hands nervously clutched on his side, he dragged himself to the immense front door, as his heart was beating way too fast for his liking.

Lance had told him his parents were quite rich, but for Esteban who lived in a dormitory to be able to pay for his studies, that could have meant anything. So really he hadn’t expected his classmate to be loaded.

He thought he already knew a lot about Lance, from the moment they met the first day of uni they were glued together despite everything opposing them. Esteban knew almost everything about his best friend : his favorite color, how his sister drags him everywhere to show her “smart baby bro”, he even knows which pencil is the one Lance prefers to chew on when he gets stressed before an exam. And when he started developing feelings for the sweet cheeky boy, he knew that even if it wasn’t reciprocated, Lance would always treat him with respect and not break his heart harshly. So when he proposed to take Lance on a date, Esteban knew from the second he saw the red grow on his cheeks and the way his brown eyes started shining that Lance would agree.

And now he was there, anxiously ringing the bell of the front door of a house at least ten times bigger than the flat he lived in when he was a kid, to take his best friend and crush on a date in his ugly and almost dead Renault R5. He gulped, he looked completely ridiculous in the cheap button-up he stole from his dad’s closet and worn out baskets. Self-consciousness started to settle in his mind but the second he decided he didn’t want to ridicule himself in front of Lance, the door opened and he froze on his spot.

A tall man with white hair and a shiny watch on his wrist was holding the door and looking Esteban up and down in a suspicious manner.

“Lance, your friend is here !” He suddenly yelled, extending his hand toward Esteban. “Hello Esteban, I am Lawrence, Lance’s father.”

Eyes blown wide in anticipation, Esteban shook his hand as he returned the greeting. He didn’t have the time to try and find something else to say that a blurry figure quickly made its way toward him from the back of the corridor and jumped on him.

“Hi Este ! I’m ready so let’s go !” Lance blurted out happily before grabbing his hand and pulling him outside.

Esteban let him drag him toward the car, awkwardly waving toward the older man who chuckled in return, politely waving back at him.

“Have fun, boys !” He snickered and Lance huffed indignantly.

“Gosh he can be a pain in the ass sometimes.” He complained, trying to open the passenger door on the rusty car.

Esteban was still stuck in place, trying to digest all the information. “You’re fucking rich.”

As an answer, Lance stopped harassing the car door and gave him a deadpan look. “And you have your driver license so open the car so we can go eat, I’m starving.”

Esteban tried to protest but the intense impatient look he got made him press the button on his car keys and Lance happily opened the door, jumping on the torn out seat and looking around as if it was the coolest experience of his life and not the complete opposite of the brand new Maserati car parked in the mansion’s alley.

The older boy bit his lower lip anxiously and climbed in.

“Soooo…” Lance started, suddenly looking more shy and stealing a side glance toward his driver. “Where are we going ?”

Feeling uneasy, Esteban went through the plan he had prepared for the evening and found himself thinking it could never impress Lance if the boy was used to a very luxurious life. His silence must have lasted too long however, as the hand softly grabbing his wrist made him jump. “Este, is everything alright ?”

Esteban swiftly turned toward him, looking directly in his worried eyes. He blushed, even when he was upset Lance managed to be the cutest boy he had ever seen. Esteban swore himself to never again be the reason for the frown on those pretty lips.

“Yeah of course, sorry I’m a little nervous.” He smiled, and Lance rolled his eyes, never pushing his hand away.

“Me too, but I’m sure it will be nice, and as long as I get to spend time with you, it is perfect for me.”

Esteban couldn’t help but smile at that, sliding his hand in Lance’s and squeezing it. They stayed like this for a few seconds, shily looking into the other’s eyes lovingly before Esteban shifted to grab the wheel.

“Let’s go then.”

The plan was simple : they would go to a nice cozy restaurant in the city before walking along the river where were installed light decorations that Esteban was sure would have Lance in awe.

However, when they arrived at the little restaurant, he instantly regretted his decision. It was a normal burger place, nicer than what Esteban was used to but barely fitting in his tight budget, which, now that he saw in which environment Lance grew up in, would probably not be enough. Closing his eyes, he started counting his economies, hoping that if he skipped a few meals or two he could afford a better place for the boy he liked. Again, he was interrupted by said boy who jumped out of the car and giggled at the sight of the statue of Elvis Presley in the entrance.

“This place is so cool ! It looks like the restaurants on the road 66 !”

Esteban got dragged out of his trance - and car - when Lance opened his own door and pulled him out. “I love burgers, you’re the best.”

The look on his face was genuine excitement and Esteban felt like a small weight got carried away from his shoulders, and he smiled again, more relieved this time. “I know you do.” He winked and Lance looked even more excited than he already was.

They entered the restaurant and got placed in a small booth in the back. Esteban silently grabbed the menu, going through it and biting his lips as he counted his budget again to check what he could and definitely couldn’t allow himself to-

“Stop it.”

He frowned, looking up at an unimpressed looking Lance.

“What ?”

“What what ? That thing you’re doing, stop it right now.”

The half serious, half mocking smirk he wore on his lips confused Esteban more than it helped him understand what Lance was talking about and he lifted an eyebrow as a silent repeat of his question. Lance shook his head, suddenly looking uncomfortable.

“That’s why I didn’t tell you.” He muttered, looking away as he sank lower in his seat.

That was not how their first date was supposed to go, Esteban thought, he was supposed to make Lance as happy as possible and instead of that, Lance looked very uncomfortable, deep frown on his face and passing his hand nervously in his hair.

“Lance, I…” Esteban didn’t know what to say, not entirely sure what he did to upset his best friend.

“Please” Lance mumbled, squeezing his eyes shut. “I’m begging you, Este, stop immediately trying to impress me, I don’t care at all about anything like that.”

Esteban froze, suddenly feeling cold.

“How did you know ?” He wondered aloud, and it pulled a smile on the beautiful boy facing him.

Lance leaned front, crossing his arms on the table and offering him a soft look.

“Because I know you, you idiot.” He softly whispered, reaching out to grab at Esteban’s arm and take his hand. “You saw the house, the cars, heck you saw my dad. I didn’t lie when I said I was rich, but I don’t care about it, okay ? I didn’t agree to go on that date so that you could show me how much you can spend for me. I agreed to go because I love spending time with you, you make me laugh and I feel good when we’re together.”

Esteban found himself speechless, shamefully blushing at his own idiocy and doubts. Lance tightened his hold on his hand, and Esteban rubbed his thumb on the skin under.

“I love spending time with you too.” He whispered, giving Lance his most genuine smile of the evening.

After that, the dinner went without any more pressure, both of them talking and laughing as if nothing happened. They kept holding hands as long as possible, and when they got out of the restaurant, Esteban immediately reached for Lance’s hand again before the younger boy tried to walk toward the car.

“We’re not going back ?” He asked, intrigued.

“Not yet, I have another place I want to take you to.”

The way Lance’s eyes glinted was all Esteban needed to know he was now very curious about it.

So they walked hand in hand for a few minutes, Lance trying without stopping to make Esteban tell him where they were going. At some point, they turned right at a crossroad and the soft gasp Lance let out told Esteban he had a good idea there.

The street was beautifully decorated in the warm spring evening, strings of orange lights hanging on the trees and controlled lights turning on the walls around them. The reflexion on the water of the river along the street gave a very warm and romantic atmosphere to the place, and the whole effect seemed to work as Lance walked closer to him, both arms holding Esteban’s arm as he looked around them, fascinated.

“Este, it’s so beautiful !” He exclaimed cheerfully, pulling his date along to the barriers so they could look down the river.

Esteban mentally slapped himself when he almost said that Lance was the beautiful one here, cursing his own cheesiness when it came to the beautiful tall boy clutched to his arm. Instead, he just hummed in agreement, enjoying the moment as much as possible.

“Hey” Lance broke the silence a few minutes later, making Esteban turn toward him.

“Hm ?”

“You’re the best.” Lance murmured, his brown eyes shining with emotion in the warm lights of the street and Esteban gulped as they were very, very close.

However, he didn’t have the time to go further down this train of thoughts when soft lips pressed against his and his brain shut down completely.

The kiss was perfect to him, Lance pushing himself against his chest and moving his hand on Esteban’s cheek to steady himself. Esteban circled his arms around his waist, happily humming when Lance tried to deepen the kiss.

Out of breath, Esteban leaned back and the two boys looked at each other with eyes full of love and kindness. Lance suddenly started laughing, eyes closed with happiness and he glued himself against Esteban’s chest to hug him tightly.

“Does-” Esteban cleared his throat, “does that mean you would agree if I asked you to be my boyfriend ?”

Lance laughed some more, tightening his hold.

“As if you don’t know the answer.” He teased him, and Esteban chuckled to himself.

Of course he knew.

[qweeby]

Nine Lives To Short Part 9: Fools like you

♡♡♡♡♡♡♡💜💜

Shinsou arc complete ??

Paring: Shinsou x Reader 👀👀

Genre: Angst

Taglist: @bakuhoetoedoroki @foxypuppy

Plot: You only have nine days to tell him how you feel but...maybe you've been chasing the wrong guy.

"Why did you drag me out here, Bakugo."

Shisou puts one of his hands in his pockets as he stares at the surprisingly quiet Bakugo.

"You know exactly why I called you out here, Tom Cat!"

"Tom Cat? Now that's a new one"

" UGH JUST SHUT UP AND LISTEN! It's about Y/n."

Shinsou gives Bakugo his full undivided attention after hearing that he wants to talk about you.

"Ever since Mr. Aizawa informed to the class about Y/n's qurik that shitty Deku been making theory about how to save her."

Shinsou eyes widen, "Wait really! What were some of his theories?"

"HIS THEORIES THEY ALL SUCKED! I BLEW UP HIS NOTEBOOK AFTER READING ALL OF THEM."

Shinsou let's out a long sigh saying, "Why am I not surprised" as he exhales.

"My theory is way better! Y/n's quirk only awakened when she fell in love right!? Well with you I mean!"

"Yeah, you're right on the money...but where are you going with this"

" Well,what if she falls out of love with you and she falls for someone else."

"Someone like me".

-Meanwhile back inside with Y/n and Momo-

"Ok ok this is fine everything is fine"

"FINE! NO EVERYTHING ISN'T FINE!" Momo says while shaking you furiously.

"MOMO STOP SHAKING ME! I JUST NEED TO LAY DOWN FOR A FEW!.

"Oh....are you sure, Y/n?".

Before you can respond to Momo you feel a tap on your shoulder, you turn around and see that it's Mei Hatsume.

"Oh Hello Hatsume-" In a instant Mei takes your hand and drags you off leaving Momo in the kitchen.

"H-huh! Umm Mei?"

"Sorry Creati, me and Y/n need to have some girl talk! I gotta introduce her to one of my babies!

Even though Mei has a huge smile on her face, you can feel her grip on her you arm tighten.

"Yeah, Momo I'll be ok just keep the party going!".

The chanting of Izuku name can be hear as you are being dragged out of sight and eventually out of mind.

Momo stares off wonder if she made the right choice because for some reason she didn't like the engery Mei was giving off.

"Umm Yoayorozu?"

"YES IM HERE AH, TODOROKI!?"

"You have a line of people asking for more cookies, it seems someone has ate them all" Todoroki glares at Uraraka that currently stuffing her face along with Mina and Kaminari.

"Oh hehe right I'll get right on it!."

...

Mei bring you into a random as she closes the door behind her.

"Soooo...what little robot did you make today Hatsume?" Y/n chuckles even though this situation feels awkward.

"I'm not here to show you anything...I just need to ask you something, it's about Shinsou." You notice that Hatsume is visible angry which makes feel uneasy.

" Oh Hitoshi? What about him?"

"Shinsou... is he your boyfriend?"

"BOYFRIEND?! PFFFTTTT NO NO NO NO! S-SHINOU IS JUST A FRIEND"

" oh so kissing is a friend thing?

(" Not right now!")

"So you won't tell the truth now...you're just like a him A BUNCH OF LAIRS"

"Huh? L-look whatever is happening between you and Shinsou has nothing to do with me"

"IT HAS EVERYTHING TO DO WITH YOU!"

Hatsume starts poking you with her finger, pushing you back as she angrier and angrier.

" Because of YOU Shinsou wants nothing to do with me."

"It's YOUR FALUT that me and him aren't together!"

"WHY DOES HE CARE ABOUT YOU ANYWAY WHEN, YOU DON'T EVEN WANT HIM!"

Hatsume pushes you into a closet and blocks it with something but you can't see that it is.

"HATSUME! HEY LOOK IM SO SORRY I-I THOUGH YOU AND SHINSOU HAD SOMETHING!"

"We did until you came along! AND TOOK IT ALL AWAY"

"Yesterday I went to Shinsou's house to check on him....I-I called so many times and all he did was push me away! HE PUSHED ME AWAY FOR YOU!"

"Shinsou didn't even want to talk he used his quirk on me and walked away".

Y/n puts her head on the closet door and sighs "Hitoshi...no he couldn't have.. b-but even if he did that give you no right to put me in here!"

"You'll stay in there until someone finds you..if they do. Hatsume walks to the door, you panic as you hear her footsteps slowly fade.

" HATSUME! LET ME OUT!"

"Don't worry just sit tight and enjoy the party~ oh! I almost forgot if you're looking for your phone it's...broken"

Hatsume says after throw your phone at wall leaving a big phone sized hole.

" Bye Y/n, I'll keep Hitoshi in good hands I promise".

You kick on the door screaming for help as you voice as muffled by the loud party music right outside the room. Leaning against the wall Y/n can't help but think about how everything she feared would happened.

"GASP! Is this you finally facing reality HAHAHA! GOOD!"

"Oh pipe down you stupid cat! I already gotta deal with this closet bullshit I don't need you right now"

" Now you don't wanna face the consequences of your actions? It's because of fools like you that think they have any control of there fate! They only set themselves up for failure."

" I do have control over my fate!"

"And yet when your given the options to change you don't take it! That's why you're a fool."

"You're right...I've been doing this all wrong... after this party I swear I'll make the right choice!"

"Tch...such a foolish response but I'm not surprised."

"YOKAI, SHUT UP!".

-Y/n continues to try to break out of the closet but she fails, she gave up after what feels like 3 hours until she eventual fell asleep-

" OI KIRISHIMA! DIDN'T I TELL YOU TO MOVE YOUR FUCKING WEIGHTS!"

Kirishima yells from across the hallway "Sorry BakuBro!"

Bakugo then notices the square shape hole in his wall and proceeds scream.

" WHO THE HELL LEFT THIS HOLE IN MY WALL! WHO THE HELL WAS IN MY ROOM!"

"I KILL WHOEVER DARED STEP IN MY DOMAIN!"

Bakugo glares at his closet as he hears rustling coming from it. Bakugo moves Kirishima's huge tower of dumbells and flings opens his closet.

"TIME TO DIE YOU BASSSSssss...tard? "

"Mmh?" Y/n squints, at the blurry figure until it comes into focus and she sees Bakugo.

"Oh...hey Bakugou hehehe"

"Why are you in my closet!"

Y/n faces palms "It's a long story...and I don't think you'd be believe me".

Bakugo smiles as he picks Y/n up help her get up "Knock yourself out I'll listen and I'll believe you, as long as it sounds believable."

-Y/n tells Bakugo everything that transpired and he's rightfully pissed-

" HUHHHHHH!!!! ARE YOU SAYING THAT GADGET GIRL DID THIS ALL BECAUSE OF THAT STUPID TOM CAT!!!!!?!?!"

"Pffffttt did you just call Shinsou a tom cat and me GADGET girl!"

"Quiet you!"

" Ugh DAMMIT! We just told him to leave too we all been looking for you, I can't believe that took 3 hours!"

Y/n's fall on Bakugou's bed and screams into one of pillow.

"3 HOURS!!!!"

" Yeah"

" AND SHINSOU JUST LEFT!"

"Yeah he actually left with sparky, but if you leave you'll be able to reach them."

Y/n feels something gentle grab her hand, she moves the pillow from her face as she stares at Bakugo who is...looking away.

" That is...if I let you"

"Hey...Baku-GO!"

Katsuki lays his head on Y/n's lap "Oops" he said with a smirk

"BAKUGO COME ON YOU'RE TOO BIG FOR THIS!"

" Thanks for the pillow, alley cat"

"ALLEY CAT! WHAT ARE YOU TRYING TO IMPLY YOU ANGRY POMERANIAN!"

-As you whine at Bakugo he blocks you out for a sec. He can't help but think out what happened outside with him and Shinsou-

....

"Bakugo...don't tell that you-"

" I LIKE HER OK THERE I SAID IT! At the end of the day I'm a hero and if see someone in danger DAMMIT IM GONNA HELP!"

Bakugo gets in Shinsou's face

"You're a fool to think you could ever have a future with her, you should've stuck with Hatsume."

" BAKUGO! YOU'RE NOT TAKING HER FROM ME."

"YOU DUMBASS GET OVER YOURSELF IM DOING THIS FOR HER!"

....

" HEY BAKUGO ARE YOU LISTENING TO ME"

Bakugo snap back to it...only to hear your whining which irritates him.

"OI! SHUT UP!"

" NO I REFUSE!

"OI THE OTHERS ARE GONNA HEAR YOU SCREAM SO SHUT IT ALLEY CAT!

"BAKUGO YOU SHU-Mmmh" Bakugo simply SHUT you up with a kiss.

-Meanwhile Shinsou is walking with Kaminari-

" Hey you think they found Y/n yet?"

"Why are you worried?"

" YEAH! AND YOU'RE NOT!?????"

"Kaminari, Y/n gets lost all the time she like a cat, eventually she'll come back."

Right.

"Hmmm you're no different huh"

Shinsou quickly turns around to see who said that " Hey Kaminari did you hear something?"

"No...OH GOD YOUR GOING MAD BECAUSE OF YOUR LACK OF SLEEP!"

Shinsou slaps Kaminari in the back of the head.

" Dummy your brain is just fired"

" So he can hear me now"

Suddenly Shinsou falls to his knees and grunts in pain " AHH! OW ow ow!"

" Shinsou! Hey you ok man?"

Hitoshi looks in front of him and see a purple cat with a devilish grin on it's face.

" You're truly nothing but one and the same....a fool."

♡♡♡♡♡♡🧡🧡🧡

[chappedandfadedvds]

Oct 24th, Saturday 8:05

„I’m hungry!“ The high-pitched voice got through to him, ripping him from a dream, he could no longer grasp nor remember the moment he opened his eyes. In fact he barely could recall any of his dreams. But it must have been pleasent enough, as he didn’t felt uneasy. In fact he was quite content considering it being that early. For a moment he felt at peace with himself. It only lasted for a second though, as suddenly there was a tiny body and long curls of brown hair, throwing itself onto him in a swift motion, without regard.

„Lotte!“ He groaned, lacking any real anger in his voice or expression, as she grinned up at him from his chest with big doe eyes. Well, she surely had more than three crucialy short hours of sleep that he had gotten so far. He really should stop staying out that late from now on. Freeing his hands from under the banket, they found their way to her sides. And Lotte being extremly ticklish, she started to squirm instantly. Her carefree child-laughter filled the house, making him smile in return.

Jens loved her, he really did, but on early mornings that didn’t fell on a school day, he wished she would be a bit older and more considerate for a couple minutes, giving him enough time to put himself together to face another day. No such luck though. She was only eight and thus he decided to push her away from him, up into the air. A big grin slipped on his lips as she squeaked.

Having had enough of this, he watched her starting to pout at him, telling him to put her down, so he did. Right next to him on his bed and then sat up himself, trying hard to feel awake.

The morning was dimmed in a light grey tone, as puffy clouds filled the sky. It wasn’t supposed to be raining today, but he better should check on that later. For now it made him feel a bit sluggish. The winter and short days would certainly make his life much harder soon.

„So what would my lady like for breakfast? I may have to grab something from the backery, if you want...“

He couldn’t even finish his sentence as Lotte exclaimed happily: „Crepés!“

Of course. Lotte and her sweet tooth. She knew exactly that he rarely could tell her no on weekends. Jens quickly went through their stock of groceries in the kitchen, and if his mother hadn’t used anything between yesterday evening and now, they should be on the safe side.

„Okay let me quickly get a shirt on and go to the bathroom and I’m gonna join you in five minutes, alright?“ Lotte nodded enthusiatically, got off his bed and ran out of his room in practically a second. There was the sound of her socked feet on the wooden stairs, loudly pounding and creaking on each step. He could only hope that it wouldn’t wake their mom.

Jens let himself fall back into the welcoming pillow, closing his eyes for a moment to take a deep breath. What he wouldn’t give for a single lazy hour in bed right now. Blinking them open again, his hands had pulled up the phone from beside him.

It showed him 12 unseen messages, all of them from their groupchat, simply called ‘group’. Whoever had Aaron allowed to name it, surely regretted it by now. It wasn’t just the broerrrs nowadays. Since the lockdown and their zoom meetings, he had found himself in an even larger one. Girls and boys, plus Sander, Senne, Milan, and Jana, so she could keep up to date. It was chaos. Jens knew why he kept it muted.

The messages were from 2 hours ago, when he was already home and fast asleep. But apparently Amber, Aaron and Sander had been up chatting. He quickly skimmed their brief conversation, a deep yawn escaping him, as his eyes caught a joke Sander had made.

Sander 6:55 : @Aaron looks like u need to be worried about being single again. I could ask Robbe if he is up for a trouple ;D

Aaron 6:56 : I hate both of u

Amber 6:56 : @Aaron you DON’T need to worry, you are the only one for me! Always <3

Sander 6:58 : ...and that’s me going back to draw and listening to Robbe’s cute snoring <3 Later!

What he would’t give to see his best friend’s face, reading this last message once he woke up. It also was the last text in chat, leaving Jens a bit confused, so he scrolled up to the beginning. There were just the ones of Luca and Senne telling the others, they made it home safe. And two of Jana telling them it was weird that she had just arrived at a party that very moment. Until the next gave him the answer he was looking for.

Amber 6:50 : hi, just got home, but quickly checked my mails and apparently there will be a new student joining our school on monday. a month into our last year. super mysterious. and being on the student council, it is obviously my duty to greet him and show him around. this is soooo exciting. I hope he is hot.

There was also a photo posted of a bright laptop screen, and Amber’s half-lit face, grinning brightly at the camera, pointing towards what appeared to be the content of the mail. In midst showing a bold black name.

Lucas van der Heijden.

“JE-HENS!“ It echoed through the hallway from downstairs. Fuck.

He threw his phone back onto his pillow and made his way quickly over to his closet, grapping the first shirt he could to put on, as well as a pair of socks. With a swift brush of his fingers in front of the mirror, he tried to sort through the mess his hair was. To no avail. Disgruntled he decided to let it be and made his way out of his room Not before stopping and peaking into the one looming at the end of the hall to his left.

It was dark, thick curtains drawn. Only the faint light of the hallway managed to give him a view on the sleeping silhouette of a woman too thin under a big blanket. Jens swallowed down his thoughts. There was no need for any of it now, as Lotte was waiting for him. Carefully he closed the door and turned around to join his little sister in the kitchen. Preparing to make a mess of it and cleaning it up later. On his own most likely.